So last night I was a little… depressed. Down in the dumps. Boo de hoo. I felt old, ugly and fat. I refused to eat dinner.
So Ed tried to make me feel better. He decided to make dinner for me. He asked nicely what I wanted, and I replied (perhaps not as nicely) “Didn’t you hear me? I am not eating. Ever!”
So Ed made Chicken and Au Gratin potatoes, from a box. This is, at best, a marginal meal. In the best of times, it is kind of emergency food. And we hadn’t had an emergency in a while. A while being at least since July of 2002. I know this because this was the expiration date of the box of Au Gratin potatoes and chicken.
It was not good.
Funny enough, after a few bites of the meal, I was done. A couple of hours later I departed to bed. Where, starting at 2 AM, my mind was annoyed. When I cannot sleep, my mind insists on showing me a movie – hoping it will convince my body to give up and snooze.
My mind has, long ago, given up on the regulars (Mildred Pierce, Witness for the Prosecution) and decided to create it’s own movies. About half way through the show, I fall asleep, but now my mind is in full swing an refuses to turn off the projector. So, last night, my mind – operating in conjunction with the expired spuds wove a complex tale together.
I shan’t go into the prelim’s (a threatin’ nuc-cal-ar war by a cowboy Prezdn’t). Let’s just say it moved swiftly in the beginning. What with my being unable to get a tarp to tie down over the back of my truck - then having to follow Jeff Bridges out of town. Jeff, by the by, a bad driver who insisted on getting his trailer stuck in the dirt. After waiting for him a long time, we (me, two dogs and three daughters (don’t ask me)) continued without Jeff.
We turned left at the Mission Viejo Mall, and after an hour or so were in a post-apocalypse western town. In this town there were a lot of young sheriffs- and they were killed almost daily, so they kept having to recruit new ones. They did it through a dance off (my brain can be sadistic). The whole town would brave the radiation to watch the sheriff tryouts.
Funny thing was that Jennifer Beals (from Flashdance) was the head Sheriff, the dance team coach and the judge. I woke up having to pee, thinking. Poor Jennifer. Can’t she get a better movie than this?
After pee’ing, Ed went to the bathroom and returned and explained that Jennifer Beals really did need a double for the singing and dancing parts. And Ed said to me “Honey, we don’t have to go to the Ten Commandments The Musical”, and went back to sleep.