Monday, November 08, 2004

Ed has issues too.....

Apparently the election has taken its toll on Edwardo as well. He just lets it out differently.

So we are driving back from the desert yesterday, amid the idiots. There is always at least a few idiots who drive like nincompoops. This one big black Expedition (henceforth referred to as BBE) is racing through traffic. BBE is cutting across lanes, cutting off cars to gain one or two car lengths.

Through a 3 lane section of hilly construction, BBE caused a near accident with a minivan, and two seconds later with a Mini. The BBE could see nothing.

Ed, if you don’t remember, hates BBE’s. It was a BBE that ran him into the center concrete about 2 years ago. Worse, this BBE, driven like a bat out of hell, had a “Viva Bush” sticker in the upper part of the rear window further giving us cause for hate, and obstructing the rear view. Apparently the driver lived by the Italian Racing Creed – what is behind me is not important.

Well due to a poor choice, the BBE was stuck in the number 2 lane as Ed and I passed in the number 1 lane (the fast lane). As we pass the idiot we see the driver. An pretty, face lifted, dyed blond haired, big perky fake boobed woman yacking into a phone she held with one hand. Yes ladies and germs, she was driving at Mach 1 (actually 80 MPH), cutting people off while on the phone.

So she drops in behind Ed as he races by, and Ed turns into Bad Ed. He slows down to ape the speed of the driver next to, and just behind him. So she cannot pass. She must slow down to rip around the second car, and in that time Ed has speed up and is way ahead of her again. She then decides to ride Ed’s ass.

Ed slows down until she realizes she must back off. This goes on for a painfully long time. Fro those of you that know the road, it goes on from Redlands (before the 215), to Etiwanda at the 15.

Finally at the 10 and 15 interchange, the traffic loosens up and she races past us. I have the phone in my hand to taunt her. Ed is ready to flip her off. As she whizzes by, she holds a piece of paper in the window. On it is written “USC”. She is still on the phone.

Ed and I laugh – she looks over at us and laughs with us and we all go on. Ed’s license plate says UCLA and WISCONSIN. Somewhere in her attempts to run around us, she has found a blank piece of paper and a marker. She has realized that the thing that would piss me off most was USC (they won and UCLA look like dog turd this week-end) and wrote USC on it. She did all this while driving like a mad-woman AND WHILE ON THE PHONE.
You cannot hold a grudge against someone like that. Even someone like that who voted for Bush.