Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Susie's Great Gift Borgs Scott and Ed

So in Eddie's family, they (we - as I am part of the family :-) have a gift swap. You pick a person and give a gift to them.

This year Susie had me. She gave a great gift, a Barns and Noble Gift certificate (so I can splurch on some hardbacks aI have wanted, but can't justify). She also gave a little halogen reading light for reading in bed.

This was the perfect gift. I like to read in bed and Ed likes to bitch about the light. This goes on until neither of us are enjoying it. So I was looking forward to the light.

Well, a couple of nights ago, we go to bed, and watch a episode on DVD (Friends). Then Ed says he wants to sleep. Perfect, I will use the book light.

Well, I turn off the TV, so the room is black, and I grab the book light. It is very clever, you push a button on the side, and the light raises up on a hinge and then swivels around so you can focus it where you want. When the lights are on in the room, the little halogen light is barely visable, so I am assuming this will be perfect.

So I push the button, nothing happens. I forget that the hinge rises slowly and then the light comes on. So I am turning over the light, trying to figure out why it isn't on - when the little tiny light pops on.

And, by "pops on" I mean, of course, blinds me. That little halogen light is like those horrible BMW headlights in hyour rearview mirror that mean you can't see anything. The blue laser light shots into my eyes and I scream. As you do.

Ed opens his eyes, but he is turned away, so all he sees is the bedroom bathed in blue ambient light. "What the hell is that.." he starts to say as he turns over, and the light (which I have swerved away from my eyes hits him full force. He gives the old "AHHH!" yell as well.

Now the dogs, both sleeping in the bed, are awake, annoyed and worried by our yelling. They start to run around and bark, but I and Ed - blinded - cannot stop what we cannot see.

As our eyesight was restored, Eddie and I started laughing, which just freaked out the dogs a little more.

Lesson 1: Turn the book light on with the lights on, THEN turn out the bedside light.
Lesson 2: Don't need a gun if we are attacked by robbers - we can blind 'em.