So Lynnie forwarded a set of hormonal jokes (which I will not reprint here because there are certain times when women JUST DO NOT FIND THEM FUNNY, and I don't need to cause problems in the MidWest).
But one was too good to pass up.
quoting...
My husband, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead.
Maybe next time he'll buy me diamonds.