How the dog becomes obsessive
So, when he was little, with Ashford and Hastings in the house, Trevor would wolf down his treat then race over to try to steal Ashford’s treat (Hastings did the same thing – how Ashford stayed so fat is beyond imagination..).
Well now, Trevor has the treats to himself. And he LOVES Meaty Bones (only Meaty Bones ® by the way- don’t bring that Gravy Bone shit in here!). More than loves, treasures.
So, when you give him a Meaty Bone, he hides it. He wanders around the house and puts it in a hiding place (under the bookshelf, behind the sideboard, in the far corner near the TV). Then he walks away. He wanders around the kitchen island and… oh so casually… checks that it is still there. Then it usually isn’t good enough of a spot. So he goes through the ritual again. Then again.
Then that isn’t good enough and he goes to get it and the whole thing starts again. After it is aired out (like a fine glass of wine) he will eat it when no one is watching. This is cute.
During the day, it’s cute. If you happen to give him a Meaty Bone at night, well you are in for an hour of walking, hiding, walking, hiding before you finally scream for him to STOP IT.
And then there is the getting in bed and accidentally rolling over on the Meaty Bone. Now you’re screwed. First, Trevor gives you the “You Bastard” look. Second, you have to sweep the crumbs out if you can (make the bed if you can’t). Third, you listen to the dog vacuum up the crumbs from the shag rug in the bedroom – and lord help you if there is a chuck big enough for him to hide again. Not only is he up for hours hiding it – well, now he know better than to let you take it away.
Last night, as I heard his little paws go from the rug to the wood floor to the rug to the floor to the STOP IT – all I could think of is those weird little guys that have to wash their hands like 6 times in a row after touching a bathroom doorknob.