Thursday, May 22, 2008

American Idol: The Good The Bad and The Hilarious


Well, my pumpkin was happy. He wanted David cook to win. I honestly thought the Cook-ster didn't have a chance against uncomfortable child progeny Archuleta. But I am glad Cook won. The best take on Archuleta is from Salon:
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This is all a roundabout way of saying that 2008 should have been David Archuleta's year. He has the most unforced vocal technique since -- excuse me while I dry-heave -- Josh Groban. He is sweet and milky and blackhead-free, and he is utterly inhuman, like something you'd encounter on Disney's "Small World" ride. (Paddle! Paddle!) "Archu-Dee-two," one blogger has called him, and I would have to agree, except that I can't help envisioning a time when Archuleta breaks out of the workshop and goes on a rampage through the surrounding countryside, hot-wiring cars and breaking kneecaps, with Miley Cyrus in tow. To quote the title of his favorite song: "Imagine."



As for uncomfortable, I cannot even find pictures of Amanda Olymer from the show last night. When I do I will post them. This poor girl was forced to strut around in the matching Idol outfits with people from the show which obviously loathes ( am guessing both the show and the people) and sing little Brady Bunch Variety Hour numbers with them. Not only that, she has a strong voice, so they made her sing a lot! But they couldn't make her smile. Or wear a dress. She was the only girl in pants. Repeatedly.
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They also had David Hernadez come back and sing; you know, the cute Latino guy who did nude male lap dancing in Phoenix. From what I see on the web site, neither David H nor Amanda O are on the "Idol on Tour". And David H supposedly has a contract with the record company. So it was only poor rocker Amanda O that was forced to humiliate herself one more time for no real purpose except Clyve Davis' zeal to force his puppets to sing and dance (FASTER! FASTER!).
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It showed.



And then came Maude. Let me say this first of all. I love Donna Summer. I love Dona Summer's new album. Lynn pointed out that Donna, looking like a elephant in a python, had to be walked down the stairs with helpers - a la Debbie Reynolds towards the end.
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And Ed pointed out that at her weight, even black isn't slimming. AND, if you are doing a song called Stamp Your Feet (S.beat.T.A.M.P.beat. Stamp.beat. Stamp your feet) you shouldn't wear white orthopedic shoes with your black pant's suit (assume it was a pant's suit, but it could have been a black paint tarp).
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I, on the other hand, was ready for poor Donna to fail. Donna, a huge talent musically, has NO stage presence. Never has. She stands forlornly, bouncing unrythmetically to some beat that has nothing to do with the song, face frozen in time - singing like an angel. Sometimes a horny, inappropriate angel, but an angel none the less.
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Only one thing could have made the moment less comfortable. And we got it. They made Amanda Olymer "dance" around her!