Thursday, March 26, 2009

Here's the REAL thing about Abercrombie

So, as you may or may not know, Abercrombie and Fitch is like, totally, the gay men's favorite shop.  You may assume that you know why.  In fact, their advertising (see example below) seems to be designed with a homoerotic taste firmly in mind.  But you would be wrong.
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Not wrong about the homoerotic advertising of course, but that isn't why gay boys like it.
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Alternatively, you might assume the high cost of the jeans is part of the appeal.  And it is.  I mean if the guy your dating has Abercromibe jeans (as opposed to Abercrombie t-shirts) - it usually means he has money to blow.  And, as Marilyn Monroe said, "It's just as easy to date a rich man as a poor man.  So why do you choose a poor one?"
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No.  I'll tell you the real reason.
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Abercrombie jeans run about 1 - 2 sizes larger than the label says.  So if you wear, say, a 34 from the Gap you still wear 32's at Abercrombie.  Maybe even a 31.  Never understand a vain boy's desire to delude himself.  Size 32's are when you feel your best.  It is like a little pronouncement that your are still young and healthy.  Even when it is a bald faced lie.
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I'm telling you, you try on a pair of 32's at Abercrombie and for a moment you are transported back to when you still could run to catch a cab, and not break into a sweat.  A time when you easily took the stairs to the 4th floor because the elevator was too slow.  A time when you would follow a humpy boy down the street for two blocks in the hopes that he turned around (and you were able to act on it when he did).
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Yes Ladies and Germs.  Abercrombie sells the dream, but the not the dream that is obvious.