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But, there are plenty of ways the Europeans will be able to tell Barack Obama is not one of them.
Here are 10:
- Americans don't let their car companies go belly up. Instead, they commit the U.S. government to switch their full faith and credit guarantees away from something that is now dubious, like U.S. Treasuries, to something that needs to be rock solid, like warranties on Chevy Suburbans.
- Americans stimulate. Europeans simulate. I speak of responses to the economic crisis, of course.
- Americans may create enormous global problems, but then we actually feel some obligation to try to help solve them. Whereas Europeans, who used to create most of the world's problems, don't even do that anymore...and when it comes to solving problems, c'est pour les Americains, non?
- Americans actually have a foreign policy.
- Americans rock. Europeans technopop. We produce the music of this era, the continent of Mozart produces the elevator music of this era. (Johnny Depp's love of Vanessa Paradis notwithstanding.) Check out the playlist on Air Force One if you don't believe me.
- Americans don't actually eat snails and rabbits and Swiss chard. Which is why Obama has brought his own chef and his own supply of organic arugula and free-range tofu. We also don't drive small cars or tolerate being condescended to by Euro waiters. Which is why the President is bringing his own car and his own waiters. (This is how every American would travel if they could.)
- Americans don't let friends' banks go belly up. That's why the Treasury funneled so much money to European banks through AIG. You don't see European governments rushing to bailout Citigroup do you?
- Americans love immigrants (see how we are even open to changing our minds about those whose asylum claims we once rejected...like Obama's Kenyan aunt, currently residing in public housing in Boston). Well, okay, we used to love immigrants (see all those stories about sending troops to the Mexican border). About the only thing the Europeans can agree on anymore is their long-standing hatred of immigrants. Oh and their hatred of carbon. But we hate carbon too, now. Which is a good thing. Although it does raise the whole specter of the self-hating carbon life form thing.
- Americans don't actually speak other languages. We only speak American languages like English and Spanish.
- Americans don't threaten to walk out of summit meetings before they have even begun...Mr. Sarkozy. But then, we wouldn't have left Carla home alone either. How do we avoid such walkouts? Well, generally, at meetings we just don't pay that much attention to what others are saying. It helps us stay "on message" as they say here in Washington.
Oh yes, and also, as we have mentioned before, he is a member of a racial minority group who has actually had the opportunity to reach the top in our society. Which would never ever happen in Europe.