I don't know if you are a fan of Jimmy Kimmel or not, as a rule, I am hit or miss. But from what I read (and the whole thing is here), he was funny as hell at the ABC Up Fronts...
After the drama clips, the presentation cut to a scene of Sally Field reading Jimmy Kimmel a bedtime story, which led into Jimmy doing a bit of standup. He broke the ice by saying that all of ABC's late night comedy talent is on one stage together, and the camera zooms out to show him standing alone. He started to throw out some random statistics, which he then said were total bullshit. He told the audience that he's going to get real, and that of the new shows they are hyping, "We're gonna cancel about 90 percent of them.... possibly more. I can't help but notice that right after we announce the new ones that we announce the midseason replacements. If we are so confident, why are we working on their replacements already. I'll tell you why... that's because we know most of them won't make it until Christmas." He's a prophet that one.
He continued by telling the media buyers in the audience that the network lies to them every year. "Remember the time we got you to buy time on that bingo show?" Ha. I really should watch his show more often. He then got a little self-deprecating: "ABC was hoping I wouldn't be here this year. They wanted Jay Leno. I know that. They wanted to put Jay Leno on at 11:30 and move me to 12:30 and it actually looked like it was going to happen until the last second when NBC said, 'No, we will not allow Jay Leno to go to ABC, even if we have destroy our own network to keep him.' That of course led to their new show, I'm Your Boston Affiliate, Get Me Out of Here." Zing! But NBC isn't the only network he took a swipe at. "Over at Fox, they announced that 24 would be back. As you know, that show was within a head butt of getting canceled. Next year I hear Jack Bauer is going to have a sidekick who is going to follow him everywhere he goes... who I hear will be played by Kiefer Sutherland's probation officer."
He then returned to picking on his own network. "I'm hoping that Steve will listen to me for once and put the blind guy from American Idol on Dancing With the Stars. We did one leg... why not?" He then says that they have a new marketing opportunity available. "Next season on Grey's Anatomy, your product could actually kill Dr. Izzie. She could be crushed by a case of Coke Zero or smothered in a Slanket. Just depends on how much you want to pay." Anyone else out there want to take up a collection? He caps it off with the final thought: "Maybe some of these shows will work, maybe they won't, but who cares, it's not your money."