Thursday, October 08, 2009

I have SO tried not to comment on this... but whatever

Lord knows I have tried to ignor this... but I can't. It is a piece of Nincompoopery worthy of the ages. The people behind "Conservapedia" are rewriting the Bible to take out the "Liberal Bias". Honestly. Apparently the King James Version (KJV), like Baraka Obama, is a commie pinko.
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I quote the stated "Purpose"..
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As of 2009, there is no fully conservative translation of the Bible which satisfies the following ten guidelines:[2]
1. Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias
2. Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, "gender inclusive" language, and other modern emasculation of Christianity
3. Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the intellectual force and logic of Christianity; the
NIV is written at only the 7th grade level[3]
4. Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new
conservative terms as they develop;[4] defective translations use the word "comrade" three times as often as "volunteer"; similarly, updating words which have a change in meaning, such as "word", "peace", and "miracle".
5. Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction by using modern terms for it, such as "gamble" rather than "cast lots";
[5] using modern political terms, such as "register" rather than "enroll" for the census
6. Accept the Logic of Hell: applying logic with its full force and effect, as in not denying or downplaying the very real existence of
Hell or the Devil.
7. Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning
8. Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages: excluding the later-inserted liberal passages that are not authentic, such as the
adulteress story (sm. This is the "let he who is without sin cat the first stone" story.)
9. Credit Open-Mindedness of Disciples: crediting
open-mindedness, often found in youngsters like the eyewitnesses Mark and John, the authors of two of the Gospels
10. Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities; prefer concise, consistent use of the word "Lord" rather than "Jehovah" or "Yahweh" or "Lord God."

- Thus, a project has begun among members of
Conservapedia to translate the Bible in accordance with these principles. The translated Bible can be found here.
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(personally I do not think the work "peace" and "miracle" have lost their meaning, but then I am a liberal)
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Sweet.
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Now some translations free of "liberal bias" (gathered for your enjoyment from Salon) ***begin quoted text baby**
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Some of Conservapedia's denizens, apparently including Schlafly, have been working on a new version of the Gospel of Mark. That has involved, at times, trying to come up with more modern terms for the Pharisees, a group of Jews who are often seen in the New Testament as Jesus' antagonists. There's been a bit of debate about what to call them -- one contributor used "intellectuals," for instance, while another said, "In an effort to capture the flavor for conservatives, I suggest changing Pharisees to 'the Self-Proclaimed Elite' or maybe just 'the Elite.' Given modern culture, I think this is more accessible and has a less benign/neutral connotation than 'intellectuals.'"

Another contributor had a better term: "Liberals." That's led to verses like this one, for now Conservapedia's version of Mark 3:6:

The Liberals then fled from the scene to plot with Herod's people against Jesus, and plan how they might destroy him.

Conservapedia's editors faced another problem -- how to deal with verses in which Jesus is quoted as saying things that are less than Republican. Take, for example, Mark 10:23-25, which in the translation they're basing their work off of, reads:

And Jesus looked round about, and saith unto his disciples, How hardly shall they that have riches enter into the kingdom of God! Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, "How unlikely it is that those who worship riches will enter the kingdom of God!"
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And the disciples were astonished at his words. But Jesus answereth again, and saith unto them, "Children, how hard is it for them that trust in riches to enter into the kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God."
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Here's how Conservapedia has edited that:

Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, "How unlikely it is that those who worship riches will enter the kingdom of God!" The disciples were astonished to hear this.
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But Jesus said again, "Children, how hard it is for those who trust in riches to enter the kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a man who cares only for money to enter into the kingdom of God."
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The last bit of that new translation inspired the comment, presumably from another Conservapedia edtior, "very nice improvement of the imprecise term 'rich.'"