Wednesday, July 10, 2013

This Show Has No Redeeming Characters

Apparently no one told CBS that they should have, like, at least ONE character to root for.  We are three episodes into this series and NO ONE is likeable.  Some people are marginally less unlikeable, but no one is a good guy.  If these were real people, they should stay in the dome until they are all dead.  At the rate they are going, it would be about day 4.
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 There was one good cop, who was promptly killed by a bad cop, exactly 2 minutes after we met him.  The bad cop, by the by, has no reason to be bad except spending 12 hours under a dome.  Really, he cracked toot sweet.
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But it is okay, because the good lady cop that you kind-of-rooted for shot the bad copy in cold blood.  Now she was angry, but was like 4 feet away and behind him, she coulda winged him.  But she is a Hispanic and you know how hot-headed they are.
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There is the young man in love with the town waitress.  He is totally cute except for the "crazy eyes" - which are now on display 24/7.  When the pretty waitress dumped him kind of rudely (after sleeping with him) he responded by locking her in the bomb shelter at his father's house.  Because in no-where New England, everyone still has a fully functioning and stocked bomb shelter.  And girls should never ever lead boys on.
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Crazy Eyes comes by it naturally thou.  Crazy Eyes' father, by the by, is the only town councilman left (the others are visiting the neighboring, dome-free town) and has "taken over" for the good of the town.    You know kind of Al-Haig crossed with Lex Luthor.  He is a general blow-hard creep to start with, but to make us dislike him more, he is also involved in some convoluted propane for drugs scheme.
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His partner in the propane for drugs scheme?  The Reverend of the town - who accidentally burnt down a dead man's house while trying to destroy evidence.  Because don't all pastors burn down houses while destroying evidence of their wrong-doing?
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There is a plethora of bratty teenagers - and one nice kid.  The nice teenage kid was home alone when the dome came down.  In last night's episode, in repayment for the kindness of sharing his generator - his house was thronged by kids gone wild (apparently the parents let the teenagers run all over town, cuz, hey, there's a dome over the city - where are they going to go?  The woods?  Where there is a crazy cop-killing cop!).  A bully (who is all cute in an Abercrombie and Fitch racist kind of way - so that's anti-type casting) threatened to beat up the kid whose home had the generator (breath) because the nice kid wouldn't let the bully rape the bratty girl.  Which I gotta say, was annoying and stupid on a million levels.
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The "hero" (or anti-hero) started the show by killing some guy and burying the body.  He is now staying with a woman who was kind enough to put him up, only to find out that she is the dead guy's wife (widow?).  So if he is a "good-guy", he's not that good.  The wife is a reporter who ran with a uncorroborated story too fast in order to smear Ron Emmanual, but then it turned out she was a crappy reporter and the whole story wasn't true - so she and her (dead) husband hightailed it back to Domeville just in time for some propane / drug / stranger action.  FYI - if the dome wasn't fiction enough, the idea that a reporter might actual pay a penalty for inaccurate reporting is ludicrous.
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The token minorities are:
- a black guy who is the DJ at the local radio station (because black guys love music)
- a Asian Chick at the radio station (because Asians are good with electronics and stuff)
- two lesbian moms who are "just at the end of their rope" with the almost raped bratty girl.
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By the by, I don't know if it is Stephen Speilberg or Stephen King, but one of them apparently wants to let the little children of the world know if you disobey your perfectly nice lesbian parents, you too will get almost raped.  And if you have sex with a guy and don't want to marry him, you will be tied up in a bomb shelter and almost raped.  And if you are a woman who tries to stand up for herself, you will get almost beat up by the propane /drug dealing councilman / hunter.  I think maybe someone (or sometwo) has an issue with women.
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Hid-e-ous!