Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Sadly, I am Gone for a Week Plus and Cannot Keep Track of the Klown Car

Well, posting for a week plus will consist of pictures from Istanbul, Croatia, Montenegro and Bosnia, so there will be a break from Clown Car info...
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Let me give a quick run down before I go.  So quick you have to goggle links, I don't have time...
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(From Top Left, clockwise)
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Jeb!  That's right bitches.  He's not Jeb Bush for 2016, he's just Jeb!  Like Cher or Madonna only with !emphasis!  And, in Spanish editions (honest) with the upside down exclamation point.  He finally "decided" he was running for President this week.  His announcement has generated the enthusiasm you would expect from the third Bush in an immediate family - since the last one was SOOO great.
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Chris Christie played in a NY / NJ benefit baseball game.  Perhaps a mistake.
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Rick Santorum came out last week to say that IF the Supreme Court rules in favor of Same Sex Marriage this month (as is expected), people should just ignore it because the Court has no enforcement mechanism.  Which indicates a rather hazy understanding of the Federal Government.
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Ben Carsen.  You haven't heard much about him because; his campaign manager left (to start a PAC for him), his deputy campaign manager left (to start a farm) and his counsel left (to go on Safari). He is still spouting nonsense and (wait for it) leads the field 11% to Jeb! at 9%.  Although still behind Undecided at 20%
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Bobby Jindal is crazy as a loon.  Louisiana's budget is falling apart, but he has signed the no new taxes pledge, so he is twisting himself into a pretzel to keep his pledge (Esquire has a great article on it).  Meantime, the legislature won't pass enough we hate the gays laws (you know, because of tourism) so he has passed them by executive degree, prompting New Orleans to take out ads in gay publications around the country saying (essentially) "Don't Listen to Our Governor, we still love the Gays".  And advertising for gay honeymoons in New Orleans.
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Lindsey Graham, John McCain's Butt Boy, is running around advocating bombing everyone who isn't American and maybe some that are.  He has also said that, if elected, maybe we could have a rotating first lady (he is suspiciously not married).
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Scott Walker (actually) defended requiring women to have trans-vaginal ultrasound before an abortion by saying that it was "fun".  And "...everyone of my friends, the first baby pictures they have are the ultrasound.  They love it."  Apparently not understanding that woman who decides to terminate their pregnancy are not looking for a "fun ultrasound" experience.  ASIDE: I think every legislator should be required to have that ultrasound wand shoved up his ass before being allowed to tell women to have it done.
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Carly Fioriano is not making mistakes on the campaign trail lately.  Except, you know, being a woman in the Republican Party.  Her competence (and boobies) has all be removed her from contention.
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Rick Perry's magic glasses are not giving him the gravitas he craves.
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Ted Cruz has been so out of the news that the only big news about him was fake.  A satirical website said that "Ted Cruz blames Indian Rain Dances for Texas Flooding."  It is a tribute to Ted's craziness that his team had to release a statement saying that wasn't true (after checking with Ted because, well, you know...).
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The Donald announced he was running for President.  AND he has a secret plan to defeat ISIS if he is elected.  And no, he will not share it before then.  Jon Stewart has yet to confirm if he will actually stay on as host - waiting until The Donald submits the paperwork.  So far we have only his word, which phantom condo owners in Florida, Baja California and Panama will tell you is not a fungible commodity.  (And no, they didn't get their deposits back).
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Rand Paul showed he was a NEW Republican the other day discussing safety.  He was talking about safety and said "Every man's home is his castle.  Actually every man and wife's home is their castle."  Trying to be inclusive of women, but then failing pretty badly.
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And in the center square George Pataki.  A cross between Paul Lynde and Alice.  (A reference to Hollywood Squares and the opening of The Brady Bunch, and if you missed that, you are too young.)

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