Monday, June 15, 2015

This is how we (liberals and conservatives) screw it all up..

Even on things we should agree on, we americans have become programmed to see things in Left vs. Right, Republican vs. Democrat, Liberal vs. Conservative terms.  And it is stupid.
.
Take this opinion piece today.
.
In case you don't know, you soon will; Jeb Bush wrote a book that ... well. I'll let the author explain:
Last week, Jeb Bush was asked to answer for a passage from his book from two decades ago, “Profiles in Character,” in a chapter titled “The Restoration of Shame,” in which he blamed the “irresponsible conduct” of births to unmarried women on a flagging sense of community ridicule and shaming.
The author then goes on to explain how single motherhood in other countries doesn't negatively effect the child at all.  In fact how the US, through shaming and social policies, make the children's lives must worse. Blah blah blah.
.
But here is the crux of how our (Americans) determination to make everything line up left vs. right does a massive disservice to people. MASSIVE.
.
Jeb Bush's point is NOT shaming people.  It is his means to -> lower single parent hood.  Which is he means to -> improving the life of a child.
.
Charles Blow's point is NOT  to promote single parent hood.  But how government  action can -> improve the life of the child.
.
And while these are two different methods do improve the life of a child - they do NOT have to be antagonistic.  We, as Americans, can BOTH support a loving home with two parents to help a child develop AND, at the same time, encourage governmental programs that would benefit children no matter what type of home they are coming from.  The point of  their arguments is to do what is best for the child - but it gets lost in noise.
.
And I say we can do both because, in the past, we have done both.  We have supported good schools, after (and pre-school) programs that help children, while still encouraging two parent families.  I am a great example of that.  My parents were divorced, and my school (in Gardena, but in the LA School district - so this wasn't a small rich school) had programs after school and in the summer that I participated in while my mom worked.  As for encouraging two parent homes, that public pressure was pretty intense.  I give a huge amount of credit to my mother for being able to stand up to that pressure to leave my father - who was a terrible husband (a fine dad to me, but a terrible husband).
.
The thing to not lose sight of is that both authors care about the kids here.  Jeb Bush's POINT is not to shame people (although that is his suggested method).  And Charles' POINT is not to become Iceland in America (although that is his suggested method).  We need to see people's motives, not just their methods and we would get along better.