Sunday, October 18, 2015

I Love It, But I Fear It Isn't the Best Thing for Me... Mentally

Mr. Robot is amazing.  A MAZE ING.
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But, for all it's "Amazing" ness for me, I am not sure that it is a good idea to watch it.
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In a total non-spoiler, we find in episode 1 that Elliot is in court-ordered therapy, is prone to excessive delusions (which he lies about), has a tenuous link with reality, and it personally heartbroken / sickened, by the world he sees around him.  And yet, in that same episode, he is envious of those that can ignore all that and have no problems every day.
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Yeah, that is quite the series start.
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And I watched the first episode again on the plane from England.  After the big you know what (unless you haven't watched in in which case, you don't, but that is your fault).  It is even better, deepr and more mid-blowing.
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And yet...
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It tends to show the the rabbit hole, even if it doesn't take me down it.  Because, let's face it, there but for pure dumb-ass luck, go I.  I went to my therapy at the right time on my own.  I was knocked out of my wildly introverted self first by friends and then working in a bar.  Had I not had friends that were also a bit off, and so supportive, in college, then I would have been the crazy loner - worried that everyone in a suit was following me and afraid to say hello to anyone.
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Because... I do think we have allowed the game to be fixed.  I do, sometimes, have trouble enjoying the little things by worrying about the big things.  I fear for refugees we ignore, children we let starve, things we can't undo.  And that, God forbid, we elect Donald Trump.
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How I feel on a bad day.

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