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The change in doctrine (which the Church is trying to say is a clarification) is that the children of a same sex couple (legally married or not) cannot be baptized. That is a big ass deal for Mormons.
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Let's take an example and see why people are freaked.
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- Grandmother Mormon had three kids, one is gay. No problem, all are baptized.
- All get married - say to Mormons - even the gay one. No problem, all are baptized.
- The three kids each have three kids. Six of Grandmother Mormon's grand babies are baptized and saved.
- Three other of her grand babies, through no fault of their own, aren't going to be saved with the family.
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Now you may ask, wouldn't the gay married Mormons be considered apostates too - and not be abel to spend the afterlife with their families? Not necessarily, that decision is up to local priests. But now their children cannot be part of the church.
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So thousands of Mormons are quitting. And you say, so what?
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Well, it is a big deal to Mormons. They are just "not going to church" or "not tithing". That isn't quitting. They are officially going to the closest Mormon Temple and removing their names from the roles of the faithful. Quitting the Mormons isn't quite as touch as quitting the Scientologists, but close. You need a lawyer and a notary and witnesses.
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The Church's desire to tell people that gay marriage is bad (despite the fact that people are how God made them) is condemning children to a life without God - and the heavenly joys if they are killed accidentally before 18. Even after 18, they can only join the church if they disavow their parents forever and choose the church as parents instead.
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Perhaps a "clarification" the church didn't need to make right this minute.