Thursday, May 04, 2017

Happy Starwars Day

So, it's May 4th - Happy Star Wars Day.

And I have a little admission. Back in the day - before I was out, I wasn't even really out to myself.  Honestly, I remember (what is the polite word for it...?) entertaining myself, thinking of guys, but always saying to myself, "I wished I looked like that."  Never, "Wow, I want a piece of that."

Star Wars (no extra words or numbers at the time) came out in 1976. And I went with a couple of  other Freshman Navy ROTC friends from USC and a non-ROTC friend (who shall remain nameless) I had a crush on. Later, in fact, the non-ROTC friend would be my first gay sexual encounter (and it went on for a while, although he is now straight).

But sitting with next to him, in the dark, in the movie with my ROTC friends around me, I remember the moment - the exact moment - when I admitted I liked men ... you know .. sexually.

It was when Luke Skywalker realizes R2D2 is gone, but he can't go out at night, and he watches the two suns set.  It is this moment.

He was pretty much everything I wanted and wanted to be at that moment. And you knew he wasn't hot for Leia.
Of course, I could convince myself it wasn't real. It was a momentary thing brought on by excitement and little alcohol....

Until this moment about 10 minutes later when he finds Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru dead, and he tears up and I just wanted to whip it away for him.


He was, in 50 foot tall pictures on the screen of Grauman's Chinese (it was still Grauman's in 1976) dreamy and gave me a little woody.

And the memory makes me smile. Simplier Times.

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