Monday Morning Taking Stock

My ears are uneven. I never noticed this with wire frame glasses because they bend them when they put them on my head. But I have a very cool hipster tortoise shell pair that don’t fit because my ears aren’t even. It works because I have that jaunty cock’ed head look that makes it seems like I am interested even when I am not.

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I have huge earlobes. Like those guys that have giant hoops in their ears – only I don’t have those hoop things. It doesn’t work for “handsome” look (look at male models, all them have attached lobes) – but it is a sign of enlightenment in Buddhist cultures (look at Buddha).

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I have finally figured out why when I was little I used to grab at my crotch all the time. I think my sac rides higher on my body than most guys. Not creepy – freak of nature high – just a little higher than planned for by Jockey ®. It scrunched everything up when I was little. As I got older I could buy different underwear (first boxers – now pouch). It is uncomfortable, but on the upside when I worked at the bar it made me look …. more generous that was true ( no complaints though, I did make up for it with technique).

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My ring finger is significantly longer than my index finger. Which is an indicator for being a homo – so score one there (plus my hair swirl grows counter clock wise so indicator 2 is true as well).

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And my neck! Well, that is just scary in and of itself. I look like a linebacker gone to seed. Ann Frank could have hidden in the folds of my neck.

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How is everyone else this fine Monday morning?