BUZZZZ - Wrong Answer

I hate to disagree with two renowned female sociologists, but they are wrong and I don't want women to think this. I saw this crap-ola from an article in the Huffington Post titled "So Why Is He Angry At You?". It is just hogwash (and over pysco-analyses ... no one wants you to be "mommy's tit").

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Infidelity as Aggression

Have you been wondering why the man who cheated on you is also so furious at you? Where does he get off blaming you when he was the one who cheated? When my ex told me he was leaving I kept asking him why he was so angry at me, what did I do that was so terrible? He insisted that it wasn't about me. "Why do you always think everything is about you." he'd snap at me. I guess he meant it was about her--he fell in love with someone else. Then why was he so angry at me? Why did he blame me for the demise of the relationship, why did he seem to feel entitled to leave me for someone else, why the constant rage? I was bewildered by that.

"Dumping someone is certainly an act of fear, aggressiveness and symbolic violence. When an individual dumps a partner he expresses narcissistic rage comparable to a child's temper tantrum," explains sociologist Catherine B. Silver, in an essay in Cut Loose; edited by Nan Bauer-Maglin. This is the difference between men who are simply unfaithful but want to stay in the marriage and men who find someone else and dump their wives--the act of aggression. Why are some men so cruel? It's all about neediness. He needs you to admire and approve of him, but hates himself for having these unacceptable, "unmanly" needs. Men see us on some level as their mothers and when mommy lets them down they get mad, especially if their actual mommies let them down when they were kids. My ex's mom let him down big time by totally ignoring his emotional needs. I was supposed to take mommy's place and be the big tit, but I fell down on the job. When men hit middle age this internal conflict intensifies because they see that most of their life is over and they're never going to get whatever it was they wanted from mommy, i.e admiration, unconditional love. They direct their hatred at us, their longtime wife/mommy combo, because they're so dependent on us. Finding a new love cuts the umbilical cord. Of course the same pattern repeats with the new love, but by that time the marriage is long over.

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Ladies, you are over-thinking men again. Men are SIMPLE SIMPLE creatures. I have dumped enough people to know that this is major-league bullshit (and used someone else to get out of a relationship -like nearly all men). Here is the poop-ski.

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Men are chicken. We don't want to break up and will continue in a relationship long after it is gone from fun -> okay - > a drag. We don't have the backbone to say we don't want to be with you. So we wait until we meet someone else. This new love FORCES us to break up. Now it isn't our fault and it isn't your fault. "Love just happens" (yes I know that is a crock of shit - but it works when you are living with a harpie that spends your Birthday in Mexico with another man - but I digress.)

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We don't usually end up with those people. You know, unless we have a lot of Catholic guilt. And, heavens yes it would be better for everyone if we had some backbone. But we don't. We aren't furious at you - we are often annoyed at ourselves.

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And you. After all, we now have the un-arguable excuse.. We meet someone else. We can honestly say it isn't your fault. So stop asking.

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I'm not saying it is fair. In fact, I am saying it is not fair. But it is unfortunately the truth.