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My father was a fine person to me – as his partner in crime. He was a crap ass bad father, mentor, provider or protector – but a good friend, and taught me to be an excellent wing man, starting at about age 7. This seemed perfectly normal to me. I mean, I had fun, provided entertainment at adult parties, before retiring to the other room to read or sleep and he got lucky. Our routine was occasionally interrupted when he married, but he never stayed long – he was uncomfortable with the role of monogamist and inept in the role of provider – I was unaccustomed to the role of “child”.
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And so, in retrospect, I realize my father was a sociopath. A fully functioning sociopath, mind you, but a sociopath none the less. Here is a definition:
.–noun Psychiatry .
a person, as a psychopathic personality, whose behavior is antisocial and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience.
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My only correction to this definition is with the word “antisocial”. My father was not “antisocial”, he was truly indifferent to societal mores and unencumbered by them. Luckily, my father was not motivated by anger towards a minority, or the quest for domination, but by a larger than healthy need for sexual conquests and the ability to trumpet his success in that area.
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And so, in his never ending quest, he imparted to me many ways to succeed in a social setting. None involving violence or group participation. And for me, these two were lumped together in my mind as both devalued your success in life. In retrospect, they only devalued your sexual scoreboard – but hey, there are worse things to teach your kid.
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| My Father, picture taken by me to remember him. He has no wife or girlfriend in the photo and so he is uncomfortable. The only pictures I ever found of him alone where he looked comfortable, were ones he took for swinger magazines (don't even get me started). |
Which brings me to our worthless government.
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What? You say.
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Well, when you look at government (particularly at the federal level) as an organization to better the lives of Americans, you will be disappointed. Perhaps even distraught..
But… BUT, when you view them as a group of sociopaths, indifferent to the truth or arbitrary laws made by others, concerned only with power and money – they function in an entirely explainable and predictable manner. This has probably been true for generations (actually thousands of years, give or take some exceptional men and women and the odd royalty motivated by history... oh.. and Robin Hood). However, the technology that allows them to reach their control down to the individual is new, novel and intoxicating.
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And so, one must adapt. One must stop expecting a government designed to serve its people, and understand the government is only there to further their own power, prestige and wealth. Once you understand that, it is liberating.
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I was probably 9 when I realized my dad – great guy, had not interest in me as a “son” or even as a person, but fine interest in me as a “buddy”. (Actually I was 9 years and 10 weeks old – but I will not go into the sad sack story of how this knowledge was imparted to me. I’m 52, any I got over that particular incident years and years ago.) That knowledge is freeing. It truly isn’t you – its him.
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In the same way, it is freeing to know that Congress doesn’t hate gay people, they don’t hate illegal aliens, they don’t hate NPR or the Evangelical Christians or Islam or Global Warming or Pollution or Unions or Big Corporations or “governing” or – really – much of anything. The American People are NOT their interest. They are sociopaths, interested in power and money. And understanding this takes the anger out of me.
You cannot reason with a sociopath. You adjust your behavior, your expectations and your methods of coping. It might make you a better person, but probably not. What is does do is preserve your sanity. And that is worth a hell of a lot in the long run.