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Women with chest implants in all colors of the rainbow, from Beige to White to Oriental - check.
Men with designer teeth in all colors of the rainbow from Light Beige to White (no Oriental) - check
Cut away shots of crocodiles - but never seen near the contestants - check.
Chessey host with British accent to bring a touch of dignity to the pig slop - check (well Irish, but whatevs)
Playground pic-em sides where the beautiful people show how heinously insecure they are - double check!
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It was slow mo CGI Car crash fun... but I will let Television Without Pity do the opening honors...
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Two planes fly through some lush mountains. Is this Alive? Are they going to crash and then eat someone? Because I would watch the SHIT out of that show. Oh, no. One plane has ten men and one plane has ten women and they are all looking for love. That's a lot more boring than my idea. The host, who reminds me of Charlie from Lost, all manic energy and accent, explains that these people have tried all kinds of dating: internet dating, blind dating. ALL KINDS. One lady has always dated bad boys and thinks she can change that now without massive therapy. One dude had his engagement "unravel" four months before the wedding. Really? Unravel? I feel like there is more backstory there. But MOVING ON. Another lady claims that there are no single men in San Francisco. I doubt that. Anyway, they're all headed to Costa Rica to do high-adrenaline adventures and fall in love. Well, definitely the former and maybe the latter. All of these women look the same to me: long wavy hair and lots of mascara. I hope they start putting chyrons on with names because I'm never going to be able to keep these people straight