Thursday, July 07, 2011

OMG - I Love the TV Without Pity Review of Love In The Wild

If you watched Love In The Wild - and love the cheesiness - and want to make fun of it - have I got a site for you.
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Television Without Pity is reviewing it and it is a crack up (LINK).
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Here some favorite quotes from last night's review.
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Anyway, the adventure involves traversing a maze of flimsy bridges and collecting ropes. They have to clip themselves together with six ropes, and then cross the finish line. They don't get a map. I am going to enjoy how dumb these people are. It's the opposite of The Amazing Race. It's not even really The Mediocre Race. It's more like the The Unexceptional Race or The Unsurprising Race. As in, I won't be surprised when most of these people get lost and start yelling at one another.
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Vanessa and Steele are bickering and lost. And they're tied together. Vanessa chooses to see the tethers as a metaphor for their relationship or some bullshit. Jason and Erica are also not doing well. Jason won't stop talking. He's babbling about tetherball and I get why that would be annoying when she's trying to think and concentrate one where they're going. So she yells at him to shut up and they're pretty much done. Luckily, they get to the finish line sixth.
Miles and Heather's love does not prevail, as they find the tether in the bat cave on their FOURTH pass, and end up seventh. Scaredy cat Derek and bitchy Jessica don't see a tether right in front of their faces for the longest time, but finally do see it. Steele and Vanessa have all theirs too, and it's a footrace. Steele pretty much throws Vanessa across the finish line, so they are eighth and Derek and Jessica are last. Jessica thinks that she still has connections to make, so she doesn't want to leave. She better blow someone behind a bush or something, because she's on the way out. Come on, you know she thought about it. What, I'm the weirdo now?
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Steele and Vanessa are packing and Vanessa says that she can sense that she's losing him. Why does she care? He's a giant hunk of lumber! She can do better, even with her camel face. Gah. Then she asks him to talk it out. They've known each other for like four days and she's acting like they're married. Steele just flat-out tells her that he's going to move on and Vanessa actually cries in her interview about how she made herself vulnerable and it backfired. And she doesn't deserve to be alone. OMG. I am vomiting over her. She needs to get off this show and go read The Beauty Mythand maybe He's Just Not That Into You and other things as well. She's killing me.
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Vanessa and Peter are going home. Vanessa reveals that Peter had an agreement with her and he effed everything up. Peter totally did, and he knows it. Vanessa knows that she came on too strong with Steele but she blames Peter for everything, because he's the worst. She's kind of the worst, too. She really needs to brush up on some feminism, I think. And swear off guys for a while. And cut her hair. And get a personality transplant.

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