Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Oh Fab - I'm Glad...

If you don't know that jingle, then you are too young (or foreign).  I think Borax was kind of bleach (was't it 20 Mule Team Borax - which actually came from Death Valley).
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But I digress.
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FAB is now an addictive online store instead of a laundry detergent with a snappy jingle.  Usually a very addictive store, but every now and then they score a huge swing and a miss for me.  Take this ad.  Please.
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Look at it.
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First, "Spurbe"?  Is it like hipster "superb"?  Because it sounds like an embarrassing bodily function to me.  It sounds like you were going to burp, but then you spit-up a little.
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You know, like shart.  When you were going to fart and instead you.. well you get it.
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Second.  I am not sure that we have the same definition of "Fashion Forward".  Camo:Algae is not a style so much as a k-ration gone terribly terribly wrong.  Camo:Forest, I get it.  Camo:Desert, I get it.  Camo:AutumnAlgae, not so much.
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Third, hipster Zacc (with like 2 c's , no k) pictured here, he is going for what look - exactly?  Bored bad robot-dancer?  And what is with the androgynous hair and eyes, but the 5 o'clock shadow of a 11th grader just out of puberty?  Is that ironic somehow? Yeah, I want to buy these clothes and look like as ass-less dimwitted Adam Levine knock off, minus the definition.
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PS - Earth to Zacc, once you get a little older you will realize that "bedroom eyes" as a model's direction, means sexy, not sleepy.
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And while we are on the subject... what is it with the 5 O'clock shadow all the time now?  Some guys can pull it off (I'm looking at you Stephen Amell (the Arrow)).  But most guys that do look good with it, would look even better without it.  Don't believe me, look at Ryan Gosling.  Sure, I get that evolutionarily speaking, it signaled a good testosterone count to cave women.  But then, why are the mo's doing it?
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Nope, I don't like it.  I mean it is okay, but I am over it.  Of course, being married pretty much makes my vote a moo point.