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Meanwhile Miss Massachusetts and Miss Texas almost came to blows over an old fracas regarding the hired help. Mitt expands his repertoire of facial expressions to add "sadly condescending" and "bright furious red" to his three others ("condescending", "incredulous" and "steel blue").
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Miss Congeniality stuttered his way through the "9"s again, while trying to explain the differences between fruit (or colors - one cannot be sure). Anyway, I think we decided orange was bad - but we will have to consult John Bohner on that.**
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Miss Frothy Mix explained that, in addition to World Peace, the Latinos should be drawn to him because of his family values, and what he stands for in marriage and how they believe the same thing, wink-wink, nudge-nudge, both his real church and them with the pagan Pope. What started as a subtle way to talk about the gays moved to more and more overt as Mr. Santorum wasn't sure the Latins would catch his coded references, English not being their first language and all.
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A fun night was had by everyone, except those that have a hope in hell for the country.
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* - Look at me, no Oxford comma!
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** By the way, Speaker Bohner has certainly dialed back the sun-bed by about 12 notches, hasn't he?