Thursday, November 30, 2006

Mascot of the Month: Bond: Blonde Bond

This is a good looking picture. It's hot, long and sleek. Daniel Craig isn't bad either.

Now let's not forget that I have been on the Daniel Craig boat for a long time. Ever since he stepped out of the shower in Laura Croft Tomb Raider I have liked him.

Well, he is a fantastic Bond. I mean he really generates an aura of someone wound a little too tight. He was great. I liked the show a lot.

Plus he pulled off the coming out of the sea thang so much better than Pierce (pass-me-the-clippers) Brosnen ever did.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

This is a great headline

When blogging via e-mail (as one must do from the LA office), one is limited in what he can post or link to. Let me say that the best headline in the world is the "top viewed" at MSNBC this morning:

Report: K-Fed was having fling with porn star
But 'they're just friends who have sex,' says a source

Go here to see it:

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

This was, like, so not my fault.

I blame Gavin. Well actually I blame Sean Corchran.

So, last night Gavin and Micky took me to Sushi Happy Hour. Big beers $3.50 Big Sakes $3.50. Spicy Tuna Roll / Salmon and Avocado Roll / Eel Roll: $2.50 each (for 6 pieces.

But ever since Sean took us to the Sushi in Japan where the freshly cut up fish kept trying to breath, I haven't been able to choke down sushi. Therefore, I ate very little. But we hung out for a while, so what is a boy to do.



I had a 5:30 wake up because I started meetings here at 6:30 AM and was on the phone until 10:30. I feel tres gross.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Trevor's Thanksgiving

I am in LA, and therefore stuck to blogging by mail only. Short status. The desert was wunderbar. It was warm sunny and we saw friends.

We also had a young guest (Cameron is 8). Cameron and Trevor feel in Lurve! They played and played and played - then Trevor slept with her. It was his first night not in the room with Eddie and I and he was all snuggled up with her. It was cool.

Trevor was great on the plane out. In Palm Springs he spent two days with Scout (Muffin's dog) and that totally tired him out. Then Cameron came and he played with her. Then, right before Ed and Trevor flew back, we took him to Muffin's for a good-bye romp with Scout. Ed said he hasn't really woken up yet :-).

I am here at LA work until Wednesday.

Monday, November 20, 2006

The Wit and wisdom of Tom Tomorrow

From Salon...

See, this is the problem with the movies

You see, here is the problem with getting all your information about the world from Los Angeles and the movies. They don't explain this kind of cold.

In LA there is only 1 kind of weather. Nice.

In the movies, there are 3 kinds of weather.

Christmas Snow. You know, White Christmas or It's a Wonderful Life Snow

Cannibal Snow. You know, Donner Pass or Andes Plane Crash movies where it is so cold they eat each other snow.

And Nice - which is pretty much everything else.

Oh sure, Nick and Nora may throw on a coat, but that is only styleish.

What you miss understanding is weather like this morning. It isn't really eat-your-neighbor-or-perish cold, it is just high 30's, wind whipping down the street, make-your-nose-run cold. Unpleasently and unattractively cold. Cold enough to freeze your ears, but not really cold enough to actually FREEZE your ears. Not cold enough to really complain about.

Well, unless you are Scooter and the weather should be (say it with us) Nice.

ps - Jane is here from England, which is why nincompoopery is low key right now. We are having a grand ole time and I will detail out more later. Including why Julianne Moore should stick with the movies and never again try Broadway (hint - no retakes).

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Okay - Of the Half Million...

Okay, of the half million ways this picture is creepy (and it is) two pop out.

One. There should be a warning that when a fan dresses like this for the premiere, he is only 1 missed Xanax away from stalking you, so watch your back.

Two. Is it me, or is Sacha / Borat's thumb really grotesquely long? Seriously. Look at that thing.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Cerritos California

Here is an article about the Cerritos Auto Square and how it might possible presage doom upon the world. (It is from Salon, so you might be asked to watch an ad first).

Okay, here is the funny part. I went to High School in Cerritos (Spanish for "City of Low Mounds", which was the subject of Gahr HS high-school taunts and subsquent discussions of breast augmentation by my less developed female friends - see Eddie, it all flows naturally from my youth). Across the street from my house was, you guessed it, The Cerritos Auto Square. Apparently one of the biggest in the world - and harbinger of doom if the article is to be belived.

Happy Tuesday.


Ed... you cannot get rid of the devil cat.... Booo haaa haaa ha.

This is a pciture of Sydney, my friend Bridget's daughter. She is really adorable. But here is the funny part. They just got a cat (pictured above) and named it Oscar.

Oscar, in case no one remembers, was the name of the horrible black cat that lived with me until Ed took it to a "live forever" farm. Oscar, was one mean m.. (shut your mouth! I'm talking 'bout Shaft!). Oscar had no claws and used to beat birds to death. Oscar used to keep poor Muffin's blind cat backed into a corner all day and hit it when it moved. Ashford and Hastings were afriad of Oscar. Ed was too, but that is a different story.

Oscar had a long backstory. The Boo (Pam) gave it to Lauren, after which Lauren promptly dumped Pam. Then Lauren started a long distance romance with Terri, and Oscar became the "pee onthe bed" cat to show his anger at being left alone. Lauren took it back when she moved in with the Muffin (Terri) - but the blind cat thing forced the end of that. Lauren gave it to Mark - who later corrected himeself and said that when he said he wanted a "cat", he meant a kitten; not a full grown pee'ing terror in black.

At that time Oscar had horrible dandruff, because Lauren feed him low-cal food (and he was still huge). Well Mark and I feed him regular food, which fixecd the dandruff, but caused him to blow up to the size of a small pot-bellied pig. When Mark died, he made me promise not to kill Oscar (little love lost between me and Oscar).

Then when I started the long distance romance - I made Oscar stay outside (I had a patio with bars he could get in and out of.) This made Nate-The-Dog boy very happy. Nate hated Oscar as well. Really - Oscar was just mean.

Once he moved in, Ed felt he made no promise, and so - on a technicality - we gave Oscar away. First we made sure it was a "live forever" home in the desert (it cost a bundle). And it had an area for the declawed cats alone and Oscar ruled the roost.

Anywho... Bridget, the name Oscar strikes fear into Ed's heart (rivaled only by clowns and butterflys) - so it is kind of funny.

Monday, November 13, 2006

What Was That?

So, our next door neighbor here in the building got a new Big Screen.

This week-end we heard your basic big screen movies as we walked the dog. You know, car crashes, gun shots, screaming and running. Your basic Hong Kong Action Movie stuff. He (and everyone else on our floor is Chinese).

Tonight, I takje Trevor out for a walk, and I heard weird noise. I stopped, cuz I forgot for a second that he had the big TV, and I was trying to figure out what it was. Then I heard the Chinese words, the moans and the boom-sha-calacka of Chinese porn.

Very disconcerting.

Tom Tomorrow: The Real Reason...

Tom Tomorrow's cartoons are funny. Here is a preview, and a link to the whole cartoon.

Link to the ibg cartoon (courtsey of Salon) story.jpg

Desert Display

A friend from work loves planes. We were talking last week because he was in New York for meetings. He said this last week-end was a cool airplane show in Palm Springs. It is really cool because it is the only place in the US where the plans land, then taxi to the convention center. he was going to go, but the wife wasn't looking forward to the trip out and back.

Well, I told them to use the house and they did.

Here is a really cool picture of the next plane he wants.

It is a litte jet that is cheap and everyone is thinking of using as arial taxis soon. Coll huh?

Friday, November 10, 2006

It's the "You Pick The Title" Game

Nancy, Curious Geroge and Smarky Mc-Loser .

Apparently during the discussion Smirky forgot that Cheney was in the room. A quick shot-blast to the cheek reminder Smirky who is charge here!

Goodbye you lying s0s...Best of luck to you

And sometimes, for just a few moments, sun smiles on the rightous. Perhaps you don't know Ken Melhman. Ken is ( was!!!!) the head of the Republican National Committee. Ken is the man behind the horribly racist ads that sent Ford down to defeat in Tennesee (to paraphrase the ad - "Where are de White Womans at.").

Ken is also the man that kept putting the Marriage Admendment on the ballot around the country. This was needed because (and I quote) "Liberals keep forcing the gay agenda down our throat." A happy side effect is that he worked with churches to stoke haterd AND get out the vote. A twofer.

And in a twisted, sick, disgusting way - he was right about the gay agenda stuffed down there throat by fags. Fags like Ken. You see Ken is a homo. A nice big closest boy who likes man on man action and EVERYONE in Washington knows. Politicians, the media and the right wing of the party. But as long as he created a nice big tatoo'ed bogeyman who wanted to steal you childern and force them into gay sex - and as long as this won elections - well he was free to do what he wanted

So Ken threw fags under the bus, to get more republicans elected. It worked in 2000, 2004 , 2006, but not in 2008. I hope it was worth it. I hope that his hypocrasy, his total disregard for his friends and lovers, his creation of hate and dividing the Untied States People into tribes that HATE each other - while there was a war going on; I hope it was worth what they paid him. And I hope he doesn't have a decent night sleep in years. Because he doesn't deserve it.

I hope he gets have the nightmares about the fags beat and put into hospitcals due to the hate he spewed. I hope he has nightmares about the kids sent to gender education camps (where the percentage of "cures" is about the same as the percentage of suicides). I hope he cannot forget, for one minute of one day, how he has contributed to tearing this country apart.

I don't like him.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

AZ State Motto

Sieze the the Day is at the top of the Arizona state "Visit Us" page. I love Arizona. It looks like they were the first state to defeat a state Constitutional amendment banning Gay Marriage. And this was after John (Don't bug me, I am busy selling my soul to the right wing) McCain came out for the amendment.

It makes Scooter happy today.

Funny story, my parents were married in Yuma Arizonia. Because at the age they got married, they needed parental consent in California, and Arizonia had looser marriage laws. Okay, the whole thing may have ended badly, but since I was one of the outcomes I was all for it.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Mascot of the Month: project(red)

Well, Project Red is the Mascot of the Month. It is a group of retailers that has dedicated a percentage of the proftis from this to support AIDS in Africa. I think it is a great idea to have people make money, while supporting people.

Plus I like the Armani Watch.

But. But.... I can't let a the Mascot of the Month chance go to waste to share a big beefy set of thighs for our Lisa. Dan Carter of the New Zealand Rugby team is staring in a new set of Jockey ads. And Dan, you know, just for Lisa, has nice thighs.

Thigh Pose for Lisa

Humpy Pose for Scooter

When bad crotch shots happen to good girls

Can I just say, how - how does get away with printing these bad boys.

1) Paris Hilton in old lady panties, and it looks like she dropped a turd in them.

2) Pamela Anderson. The breast is mezmerizing, but the bad cameltoe is really the piece of resistance. I know better, but from the waist down (starting at that WallMart Christmas Tree topper) doesn't she kind of look like RuPaul after he mis-tucked it. Really, cover up her boobs and face with your hand and you are looking at a Drag Queen who needs to buy a better cup.


It is easy to take the wrong message back from Ted Haggard. Do not. Here is the only lesson that counts.


You see, if anyone, ANYONE, would not want to be attracted to men - it would be Ted Haggard. He thinks he is going to burn in hell for this. He knows he is destroying his family, his wife and 20,000 plus that lean on him. And still, he his physical desire was overwhelmingly to be with a man.

And there is a special place in the afterlife for people who dedicate their lifes to ruins other people's lives. And Ted will preach there.

The Colorado Amendment he is campioning this year - and will undoubtedly pass - covers not just the definition of "marriage", but also disallows civil unions. It forbides the state from covering domestic partners in it's health plans. It may try to reach into any business that has a state contract (as Virginia's law does).

This law will take a full set of people, born with an attraction to the same sex, and says to them - you are not worthy of the full set of payments that the government offers. If you have a child, and you die, you have no voice in where that child goes next. If you and your partner support each other in a committed relationship, doing civic, socicitial, and family good - that isn't worht shit. That is exactely the same as paying for sex 1 a month for 3 years because it is disgusting dirty and wrong.

And Ted Haggard, as a Christian Minister to thosands and head of the National Evangelical Church says, "God made a disgusting, vile, horific mistake with you. And (lust in your heart and all) you have no choice but to live a degrading filthy life before going to hell. You can do no good in the world as a gay person."

Somewhere God's message of love thy neighbor has gone horribly astray. Religion in the form of Catholics, Evangelical Christians and Muslims have decided that Men who lie with Men do not deserve an Afterlife, Normal Life or Any Life (respectively). But if God made me this way then he is less than aloof and indifferent. He is just plain mean.

I personally CHOOSE to believe that the messengers are screwed up. I personally CHOOSE to believe that God isn't that nasty. And I personally CHOOSE to live and upstanding, decent and honest life. Part of which happens to be that I am committed to Ed.

Don't let the hate, and the contrition and the amusement at Ted's downfall overshadow the truth here. Think about that if you ever get stuck having to vote that gay's should have no rights to make a committment (cival unions or otherwise).

I am Scott Mitchell, and I sadly approved this message.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Fun with telrets (letters)

So last night Ed wanted to play Scrable, which was fine I was totally in the mood. I started with:

sliders: small letters, but double word and used all 7 of my letters. So that wasn't the way he wanted to start.

My second word
weathers: which again uses all 7 of my letters (plus one on the board).

He finally thre in the towel when I correctly spelt and used the word "jovian" in a sentence.

Go figure, I can't spell simple words, but I did well last night.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Hypocrisy Hoedown

It is the Semi-finals of the “Hypocrisy Hoedown”.

In this corner, the Prezdent of the National Association of Evangelicals. Quoted as saying there is a special place in hell for homosexuals, he has been accused of paying a male prostitute for sex and crystal meth. )

His comments:

‘I’m faithful to my wife’Haggard told Denver's KUSA-TV late Wednesday that “I've never had a gay relationship with anybody, and I’m steady with my wife, I’m faithful to my wife. So I don't know if this is election year politics ... or what it is.”

The acting senior pastor at New Life, Ross Parsley, told KKTV-TV of Colorado Springs that Haggard admitted that some of the accusations were true.

Parsing the words, let’s find the meaning. He hasn’t had a “gay relationship”, which doesn’t mean he hasn’t had sex with a man. He just hasn’t had a “relationship” with him. And “some” of the accusations are true. So, if you just do a little Crystal and pay a guy to have sex, apparently that means you are faithful to your wife.

No wonder Ed and I can’t be married. I have a completely different definition of “faithful”.

In this corner, the Blonde Bombshell. The Purveyor of Doom (wearing the traditional red and black). The woman who said "I've never seen people enjoying their husbands' deaths" as much as the widows of victims of the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. And in her book Godless:The Church of Liberalism, writes (among many other things):

"Environmentalists' energy plan is the repudiation of America and Christian destiny, which is Jet Skis, steak on the electric grill, hot showers, and night skiing." [p.7]

She is accused of She is accused of voting illegally. Now let’s be honest, this isn’t a big deal. But she won’t cooperate with the DA. And, well, she’s a bitch so it’s fun to watch her go down.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

So, here's the thing with the dog

Trevor has a little water issue. He plays in his water bowl and slops water around.
So we got a smaller bowl. Same thing only it was tougher for him to do this.

Smaller bowl.

Well, now he has a little bowl that is too small to slop around. And he hates it. So he plays in the toilet. This is annoying, but we have gotten used to it. Very annoying, but used to it.

Tonight Trevor walked into the bathroom. And we heard a little slpashing, then a big ass splash. Then a little nails on porcelain thang. Then big nails on porcelain sounds. Then a wet sloshy jump and a wet little rat of a thing running like hell out of the bathroom.

Lid goes down.

A Tale of Woe - Translated

Oh vanity, oh shameless rascal who hides from truth and the bitter honesty that the cold brings. How could thou not see what was in front, or in fact, below thy face. The layers of garments and years are ignored in your haste and self-preservation. Go on then. Go on and save thyself. I have no power or’ you.

Translation: It is so cold my balls have found new places to hide, and it isn’t even January yet!