The Debate....

Well Well Well, that was a veritable shit storm of strum und drang last night.  I shall go off, but I shan’t make you read it.  Just because I had to watch 3 Republicans argue violently for cervical cancer for young women doesn’t mean you need to watch my head explode.

Move along.. nothing to see here (unless you want to).

The mind reels.  In fact, listening to the candidates last night made the mind do the Virginia Reel, last popular in the Antebellum South circa all these joker’s ideas.

Ron Paul was given enough rope last night not only to hang himself, but there was plenty left over to screw up the ideal of Libertarianism as well.  Wildfires in California and Texas, hurricanes in the South and East, Washington Monument closed due to an Earthquake and floods ravaging Vermont and New Jersey.  Ron Paul thinks FEMA should be abolished and neighbours should help one another.  We are fucking helicoptering food into towns in Vermont and he wants the horse and buggies in New Hampshire fired up.  They can’t get there buddy, the roads are gone.

Michelle Bachman sounded like the parrot that was trained to scream “ObamaCare!”, over and over.  It was a cute trick at first, annoying after a while and finally you just wanted to shove a cracker in her mouth.  He eyes lit up every time she said it, sparkly and engaging - just like the old pinball tables.

And Rick Perry.  He was asked specific questions

Like - “You said the US should avoid Military Adventurism, does that include the 2 wars George Bush initiated?” – “Quack quack, great country  quack quak men and women of this great country quack”.  “Yes, but SPECIFICALLY, does yoru comment apply to the Iraq and Afganistan Wars? “What I said quack quack quack and I meant it.”

Lke “You said that Social Security is an illegal Ponzi scheme, do you stand by that statement?”  “Yes, quack quack, very bad – quack – but don’t think I will get rid of it – quack quack lying to young Americans – quack – safety first – quack.”

As for the border, he wants 1,000, no no wait.. make that 3,000 new border troops.  And drones.  PREDITOR drones.  Yeah, that’s the ticket.  Of course, he wants to stop government spending – so I am not sure where this comes from except maybe the Ponzi scheme.

Mitt Romeny has plans.  Big Big Plans.  Detailed Plans.  Plans mere mortals – and career politicians – wink wink nudge nudge- wouldn’t understand.  Big Big Plans – go read them.  Really right now.  He’ll wait.  He will take that time to tie his hair darker black and his sides lighter white –statesmen like – you know.

Rick Perry will take that time to cock his head in a confused manner, like a terrier.

"ASK ME SOMETHING!"  Okay, Newt Gingrinch, what are your plans for…”  “It doesn’t matter.  You are all just trying to get us to disagree with each other instead of bash Obama.  Well, I won’t fall into it.  I won’t come to a debate in order to disagree, no I am above it.  I am … where are you going?  Come back… and bring donuts.”

Rick Santorum was able to spend 90 minutes on stage without mentioning the ‘mos.  Good for him.  He also talked about reducing child poverty every year from 1994 to 2001.  1994 – 2000 under Clinton and 1 year under Bush before the giant millionaires’ tax cuts kicked in.  But like Nixon, he is tanned rested and ready.

Ricky piped up at that to say the 50% uninsured rate in Texas, the highest in the country, was proof that the Federal Government shouldn’t to health care.  Which is kind of like saying the high speed rail crash in China is proof that Ford Motors shouldn’t build airplanes – but whatever.

Herb Cain has a 9 – 9 – 9 plan.  9% corporate tax rate, 9% individual rate and the Federal Government doing 9% of what it does now.

Jon Huntsman spoke in defence of science, to which Rick Perry responded that every week another Scientist came out against Global Warming.  Asked to name even one - specifically, he responded that, in Texas - they have the highest schools grades for Hispanics  boys ages 14 – 14 ½ and the nation’s greatest test score improvement by black girls named Angela aged 8 – 12.  Really Governor, specially, name just one!  “Quack.. I hate Obama.” 


To which crazy eyes woke up and screamed, “ObamaCare?  Did someone say ObamaCare, because I hated that first.”

Stirring to keep the floor spotlight on him and his man-of-the-people suit, as Mitt was trying to tell everyone of his 42 point plan to quiz scientist before completely ignoring them, Rick Perry proudly stated that he executed 247 people last year – and I Swear to Fucking Confucius – he got the most applause of the night.  Apparently the one thing the Republican crowd can still agree on is that killing blacks and Hispanics in Texas, even with questionable evidence, is as American as Apple Pie.

Some poor correspondent from Telemundo (brought to you by the good people at NBC) asked this of all the people “Okay, once the border is fully under control, what do you do with the 11 million people who are here now?”  All, except Santorum, said they wouldn’t talk about under the border was fully under control – apparently inacpable of an if/then analysis.  Santorum said his grandfather came here legally (back before we had immigration laws, fyi).  Michelle Bachman openly wanted to go back to the 1950’s policies, which were based on European quotas.  She and Herb Cain were insistent that people had to learn American history before becoming citizens – unaware apparently that this was already the case.

SIEU bought a “Jobs Now” commercial which hopefully did to the Republicans’’ brains what their patter was doing to mine.

At some point,  my Tivo mercifully shut off.

I liked Jon Huntsman, which means he doesn’t have a shot in hell.