Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Activia: Healthy Option - Or First Step in Master Plan

What actually ARE the "active ingredients" that promote a "healthy digestive system"?
I know fiber helps you poop - but I have eaten Activia - there is no fiber in that bad boy.
So, what are these mysterious active ingredients?
I think they are tiny nanobots (molecular sized robots) that scour you intestines.  Which begs the question, where do they go after they are done?  In a perfect world, they would follow your now-clean digestive system out.
But in reality, only Danone knows.
That's right... Danone.
Sure, in the US it is known by it's Americanized named, Dannon.  Which sounds all sweet and cuddly.  But in Denmark, it is called Danone.
Can I break that down for you Dan-One.  And the Denmarkese are known as DANes.  So, these little nanobots are actually heading to our brain to sell the idea that Denmark is #1.  And what happens when you think Denmark is #1 instead of the good old USA?  Why folks, you fall for Socialism - loud and clear. Bike lanes, clean energy, health insurance and a quality of life rated as #1 in the world.
Could the tie be more obvious.  Wake up America - you are pooping yourself right to Socialism!


No Sh*t in Wisconsin said...

No way, you've got to be shitting me. :)

On a somewhat related note: on our quest to find a new country and escape there prior to the good old USA going down the bowl, we've considered Denmark. Those Scandanavian countries seem to have it going on...and so does...wait for it......Uruguay. Yes, Uruguay. So there is a warmer option.

Scott said...

But you have to speak Spanish in Uruguay. I mean, unlike Argentina and Brazil, English isn't hugely spoken (I have heard). But you both are over achievers that probably speak Spanish already - so never mind.
AND, you're in Wisconsin - can't you just hopscotch over the border to Canookistan?

Si se Puede in Wisconsin said...

Yes....I'm functionally competent (next door to fluent) in Spanish. Canookistan is too cold. Too bad Montreal isn't in Mexico.