She went in her sleep and that is the way to go I think.
Through no fault of ours, we were never particularly close. It was, in fact, the fault of my father - who was a dick to Donna both purposefully and by chance. She blamed him for my mom's early marriage and missing the life she probably expected my mom to have.
And, after the divorce, it was even worse as he had no reason even to hold back how much he disliked her. And I, no doubt, was a constant reminder of him. She always tried to be nice, but it is hard to be warm to a child when you absolutely hate the father on some gut level.
Of course, there is always the good with the bad. Because she had a hard time with me, my Grandfather tried extra-hard to make sure I was comfortable. So, while the other grandkids had a great relationship with her and a tolerable one with my Grandfather, I was the opposite.
As I grow older I marvel at how complex life could be. Donna gave up her family, extended family and religion (Mormons) to marry a Minister from a different religion - who turned out to be bi-polar and a bit crazy. But she stuck with him. Even thought her mother (Great Grandma Early) had no problem pointing out, often, how she blew it.
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| Donna's 90th in Palm Springs with her 3 children 6 of her 9 grandchildren, various in-laws and cousins. And Trevor. |
Oddly, she and I didn't connect much until her 90th birthday party out in Palm Springs. Eddie and I hosted the family and extended family for the party and we finally got to know each other as adults. And that is how I shall remember her. Oh, the odd crazy Honey story will still come out (I have a ton!), but I will really REMEMBER her from those days. Those days when we became not just relatives, but people and I liked her.