Saturday, December 30, 2006

And the sun sets on 2006

It's nearly the end of 2006 and the sun sets (as reflected off the Empire State building). It's been a year. But the fact that I got to spend it with Ed and various friends makes it a great year.

Happy 2006.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Merry Merry Lynnie

Lynn was here for Christmas and it was a lovely time. We saw the Apple Tree with Kristin Chewowith (which I lurved), Chorus Line (which we all lurved) and did a bunch fo stuff. We went to the Bronx Zoo on Christmas Day, bumbled around Dumbo and the Museum of Design. it was a fun week-end.;

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Merry Christmas to all...

It's Christmas in a few hours. Merry Christmas everyone. Here are Eddie's new shoes - not a Christmas present, but totally cool none the less. He looks fast standing still.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Powdered Sugar, we meet again..

Powdered Sugar, we meet again…

So in the coffee room some one had brought in Christmas cookies, including thos cute little ones with powdered sugar.

Now, I don’t really know a lot of people on the floor here. I am kind of a guest. But I love these cookies. So the first cup of coffee, I ignore the plate. It is, no doubt, for their friends.

But at 11 I am starving and I know they are there. So I go get a cup of coffee. And the cookies on the table call to me. “Scott, we’re unloved and lonely.” “Scott, just one cookie no one will know.” “It’s okay, they are for everybody.”

So, as I walk by I grab one and on my way out of the coffee room I pop it into my mouth. It’s a little too big in one bite, so I have to open my mouth a tiny bit chew it into 2 pieces. But since my mouth is open, I accidentally breath in. Powdered sugar.

Time stands still as I feel the powdered sugar in my lungs. There is only one choice, we all know that. But I try to hold it back, play threw the pain, not let anybody see….

All to no avail. I cough and powdered sugar, cookie parts and a little spittle fly across the office. Luckily only 2 assistants are here today in the bull pen area. Unluckily, they both sit across from the coffee room and I got cookie guts into one’s cube and into the other’s back.
I sit, dejected and cookie-less in my office.

The Weather is turning, Lynn is coming, and we are waiting for Santa....

Christmas draws near. Eddie and I are all snuggled in the house. Lynn will come tomorow and we are looking forward to it.

Last night some friends came over (an old friend from LA who lives here now) and they took us to a small Christmas do. it was a kick and we meet a couple of very nice Lebanese girls. One of whom had, small world that it is, lived in Palm Springs for a while.

Work is very nearly done I think. Ho ho ho

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Was Buchie ever in the boy scouts

Was Bushie ever in the Boy Scouts. Because suddenly Iraq reminds me of a snipe-hunt or the endless march to find a left-handed spatula at jamoboree. It's like the a bunch of neo-cons sent him on a snipe hunt years ago, then quit the government instead of telling him there the truth.

And, fyi, there is such a thing as a snipe. Go figure. They are really hard to find and shoot, which is why a marksman is called a "sniper". Amazing is the crap you learn on the net.
A Snipe

Monday, December 18, 2006

You gotta get that right..

So, on Saturday Eddie and I were bumbling around. We were walking up 6th to Central Park. Huge crowds (we were between a "silent" demonstration and the santa march - mucho traffic). As we go, there is a Muslim prayer on his prayer rug outside a Chase bank.

Okay, I have no problem with the praying and the prayer rug. Whatever. But if you are going to do this in public and make a big fat production out of it, get the direction right. He is in the middle of New York and praying facing the North -east. Unless Mecca has taken a quick trip to Iceland - or he is praying to Thor, the man is geographically challenged.

I admit, this shouldn't be an issue in general, but if it is part of your religion to face Mecca. AND you are making a Very Public Statement by praying in front of Chase Bank. AND people have to walk around you. Then you have a duty to get the freaking direction right. Come on, the sun was shining - you know Mecca is in the desert. Even drunk you should know it isn't north. Allah didn't ride reindeer into battle baby.

Prince to do halftime?

Prince will do the SuperBowl halftime show? Really?

I don’t see it. Prince is like a pint size crazy little guy who stopped a while ago. First he stopped singing - so as to moan everything. Then he stopped using his name - so as to use a symbol (TAFKAP). Then he stopped moaning and started screaming. Then he stopped being The Artist Formerly Known As Prince and became Prince again. Then he stopped singing so he could be a preaching Jehovah’s Witness. Now he is going to sing at the SuperBowl. No.

The Poulan Weed-eater Bowl, maybe. The Meineke Car Care Bowl, perhaps. I might even let him take a shot at the Chick-Fil-A Bowl, but the SuperBowl?

See, this is why I don’t follow pro-football

Saturday, December 16, 2006

What's Up with the Santa's?

So today Eddie and I were walking around and we came across like 150 Santa's. We didn't know what it was when it happened, we just wandered across them.

We have since them found the details. It was SantaAnarchy. It is bands of Santa's wandering the streets and passing out gifts, visiting bars and generally having fun.

Eddie and I are SO going next year. (PS - I know this is from the San Francisco Santacon, but no pictures from NYC were posted yet.)

PS- Updated Santa's in New York City

My fave...

Friday, December 15, 2006

Trev's First Christmas Card

So Jane sent Trevor his own Christmas card. Because Jane has been to New York and knows that the Trev-miister LOVES to chew paper. Here he is with his very own card.

He says Thank You - FYI

Every time a bad review is very well written..

I love bad reviews so much better than good reviews. I think everytime a really great bad review is written, an angel gets his wings. From today's New York Times review of Eragon.

"This boy-and-his-dragon fantasy set in a land bristling withe Tolkienesque nomenclature and earnest British actors is as lacking in fresh ideas as Tim Allen's Manager."


Warning Labels for Fat Clothes

Proof Positive that the Nanny state has gone too far.

Some people in England want a 800-warning number for overwieght people's clothes. Having the smallest problem with food right now myself, I don't need my clothes screaming "Hey Tubbie, do you really need Hagen Daz with this outfit."

And this is a mean picture to have as the caption for this story. This housecoat should carry a warning lable for a million other reasons.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

One hesitates to state the obvious …

But one must. At the risk of harping on the subject of elected stupidity, one must ask; what the hell W is doing?

Apparently, he is going around on a “listening tour” regarding Iraq. Can one possibly comment on this without stating the obvious? Isn’t he ... oh I don’t know… 3 freaking years too late? You see, Dear Leader, the time to ask about Iraq is before you have destroyed the country, lost 2,000 plus American lives, 30,000 – 300,000 Iraq lives (we keep much fuzzier numbers on Iraqies) and screwed the pooch.

His newly acquired “listening” skills apparently do not stretch to the Iraq Study Group. Because they are a bunch of bi-partisan, knowledgeable in foreign policy, skilled in Defense experts – so who the hell wants to listen to them.

No… as Bozo the President said in Vietnam (irony is lost on this man)… we will stay in Iraq until we finish the Mission.

By the way, just so you know, he can’t define “The Mission”, nor can his advisors, nor his press secretary. Although at least his Press Secretary was honest enough to state that even asking what “The Mission” was could now be considered tantamount to Treason. (Questioning the President (or voting for the Democrats) is, to quote the vice-President and Chief Shot-gun proponent, “Supporting Al-Quida”; which (read the Constitution – article 3 Section 3) is Treason and punishable by death.)

We have passed the theater of the absurd and moved right into scary ground. W is now talking about sending more troops.

Well now you all have to wake up. Because even if you aren’t old enough to remember, Scooter is. Vietnam escalated a little at a time until we lost 55,000 troops. And escalation, while sounding fine when it is a volunteer army, sucks when they start drafting. And soon that will be the only logical step one can take – once we commit to sending more troops and to some hazy, undefined Mission – well we can’t back down. So while we all can ignore the signposts, try to remember that Sean is just about the wrong age. Most of us lucked out with the draft and Vietnam, yeah for us. But don’t think that the Idiot-in-chief won’t put us in a position where Sean ends up getting drafted.

And that should scare us all into paying a slight amount of attention.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Speaking of Crazy: Lynnie Sends a Message


1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are

3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

5. Manic - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streetsand Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and.....

6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town ... to Get Me

7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy
...............oooh look at theFroggy ............ can I have a chocolate .............. why is France so far away?

10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells, Jingle,Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells , Jingle Bells

Crazy Ass Little Dog

How the dog becomes obsessive

So, when he was little, with Ashford and Hastings in the house, Trevor would wolf down his treat then race over to try to steal Ashford’s treat (Hastings did the same thing – how Ashford stayed so fat is beyond imagination..).

Well now, Trevor has the treats to himself. And he LOVES Meaty Bones (only Meaty Bones ® by the way- don’t bring that Gravy Bone shit in here!). More than loves, treasures.

So, when you give him a Meaty Bone, he hides it. He wanders around the house and puts it in a hiding place (under the bookshelf, behind the sideboard, in the far corner near the TV). Then he walks away. He wanders around the kitchen island and… oh so casually… checks that it is still there. Then it usually isn’t good enough of a spot. So he goes through the ritual again. Then again.

Then that isn’t good enough and he goes to get it and the whole thing starts again. After it is aired out (like a fine glass of wine) he will eat it when no one is watching. This is cute.

During the day, it’s cute. If you happen to give him a Meaty Bone at night, well you are in for an hour of walking, hiding, walking, hiding before you finally scream for him to STOP IT.

And then there is the getting in bed and accidentally rolling over on the Meaty Bone. Now you’re screwed. First, Trevor gives you the “You Bastard” look. Second, you have to sweep the crumbs out if you can (make the bed if you can’t). Third, you listen to the dog vacuum up the crumbs from the shag rug in the bedroom – and lord help you if there is a chuck big enough for him to hide again. Not only is he up for hours hiding it – well, now he know better than to let you take it away.

Last night, as I heard his little paws go from the rug to the wood floor to the rug to the floor to the STOP IT – all I could think of is those weird little guys that have to wash their hands like 6 times in a row after touching a bathroom doorknob.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Monday, December 11, 2006

A Big Week-end

Well, we had a great week-end with Eddie's old boss and his wife this week-end. Gail and Mike came in for the week-end.

They love New York and showed us some of their favorite haunts. We had some excellent Italian food (and excellent in very good, not as in Mr. Burns Eeeegg-celllllant), and a ton of great conversation. They are also walkers, and we spent quite a bit of time walking around. The only problem with this was that I read how far a mile is in this city (20 blocks north / south or 5 blocks east/west) so I kept thinking "19th and Madison?? that is like 2.25 miles - are you freaking kidding me?". But I was, as usual, the picture of quiet decorum and said nuttin.

Friday, December 08, 2006

See - Zero is a misnomer

On a form, zero kids means abscene of childern in the household.

On your banking statement, zero dollars means the abscene of available funds.

In baseball, a zero hitting percentage means an abscene of contact between the bat and the ball.

But when walking the dog, a zero degree wind chill does NOT mean an abscene of weather, nor wind, nor chill. It means, paradoxically, f*cking cold.

Monday, December 04, 2006

One Shudders (and a ps added)

So, strike 1 is dad is Kevin Ferdline.

Strike 2 is the divorce.

I hope they don't see this picture of Mom until they are adults (which is only 17 years and 11 months away - what a great Mom!) - cuz that is an ugly Strike 3.

And, there are very simple to find pictures of Britney with the full on Brazilian wax. Come on child. Have just a shred of respect. If you aren't go to wear panties, at least drop your pruse down there as you exit the car. And, just as aside, doesn't that hurt like hell?

PS: The election is over. There are any number of outrages I can follow right now. The Supreme Court with it's new "No-Knock" rule has caused the death of at least one 88 year old grandmother. Richard Padilla, an American citizen NOT accused of breaking any laws, has spent 3 years in solitary and sensory deprivation for interigation is apprently now thoroughly crazy (your tax dollars at work).

But I don't want to spend any more time right now pissed off and freaked out. It isn't worth it on the wear and tear it takes on Ed and my day to day life. So, just so you know, I get it that life can suck with a capital S - but I just want to spend some time enjoying it.

And so I will laugh that Britney Spears is a disgusting ho-bag with a totall shaved pubically area because (just ask Eddie) I gotta lighten up for a while.

Ho ho ho

Weather Lesson 16: Law of Inverses

There is very little difference between 80 degrees and 80 degrees with a lot of wind.

There is a lot of difference between 40 degrees and 40 degrees with a little wind.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Happy Early Ho Ho Ho

From the front page of the LA Times...

This is our quarter back (Cowen) running the ball (running!) for a touchdown.

And this was late in the game, USC driving, when McNeal (#2) tipped a SC pass and caught it. Sealing the deal. I love you Eric McNeal.

Friday, December 01, 2006

See.. this is just wrong

Weather in LA doesn't swing drastically. The big blue thing on the other side of the beach tends to moderate it. When it does swing, it is because the air has charged over the desert, been forced to go over the mountains (which raises the temp) and we get lovely Santa Ana winds in the 80's.

Contrast that experience with the two :Low Temperature maps below. These are not weeks apart. This is today's Low Temperature, versus tomorrow's Low Temperature.



Do you see the problem here?!?