Thursday, May 31, 2007

My New BFF - Tony

Oh lo these many years, I have given up on my search. See, prior to Ed, prior to millennium, prior to all that I was on a quest for a haircutter. Someone who would not put scissors to my follicals, make one cut and say, “Ut oh! Did you know your hair shows every mark?”

Yes, I know. I have been through a succession of stylist, barbers, man-scapers, beauticians and learners. One time, a co-worker from the Revolver was in Beauty School and he learned on my hair. Yes, I had to train my own barber. Well, I followed him from shop to shop as he apprenticed. Including, funnily enough, that guy on TV show Blow Out, back when he had the shop on Santa Monica Blvd. How long ago, you ask? Well, I was in the shop on a day when Mrs. Johnny Carson and Mrs. Ed McMayon were getting ready for the Emmys. Long long time ago.

I lost him after he quit barbering to do porn. So went life in Los Angeles in the 90's.

Anyway, low these recent years, I had given up. I go to Supercuts where they do what I say and I know it will look tolerable, never good.

Until New York. The other day, I was walking Trevor to his clip job (which is way expensive) and I passed a hole in the wall barber shop. $11 a clip. I walked in and fell in love with Tony.

Tony is an over-greased, married, skinny, Bronx Guy in his 30’s who bears more than a passing resemblance to John Travolta, circa Saturday Night Fever; but at ¾’s scale. The shop has like 4 chairs, hasn’t changed since World War Two - except for the haircut pictures (mainly of Hispanic Gangbangers in various semi-shaved styles) and the addition of small LCD TV’s at every station playing, what seems like, an endless loop of “Cops” (bad boys.. bad boys).

Ah but that Tony. He cuts quickly and confidently. He trims the ear hair without a word, and trims the eyebrows with a question the first time, but now does it by rote. It’s $11, he doesn’t talk too much. I give him a $20 and we both leave happy. I to think, I had to move to New York to find this guy!

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Happy Birthday Last Throes

It was 2 years ago today that Dick Cheney told us all that the Iraq insurgency was in it's "last throes". Ranks right up there with his claim it would be months, if not weeks we would be in Iraq, not years. And his laughing at the General who said this would cost us US$ Billions. Greeted with flowers anyone? Is this thing on?

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Poor Miss USA: Updated at End

Poor Miss USA. First Miss Mexico (host country) didn't make the final group, so the crowd boo'ed Miss USA loudly and long. Then, apparently rattled and losing points on composure, she fell. And not a little "whoopsie" trip, but a big fall on your ass. (Big Picture here).

The worst, as Eddie pointed out, is that she didn't even recover well. No laugh or wave at the crowd. She popped back up like her tail bone hurt and then walked the boring Miss Contestant walk. A laugh and a wave would have helped her immensely.

As usual, the national costumes were the most fun (Aruba and Nicaragua are below). And again, as usual, the USA pulled out a turd of a National Costume. Our only good one ever was a mini-skirted Astronaut, never to be seen again.



Elvis... Really?
Updated 5/30: To answer the question that is on the tips of the tongues around the Atlantic. Miss Japan won. I didn't post pictures originally because they were horrible. For example, below is the National Costume Photo - which didn't do her or the outfit justice.

But then they put a good picture of her up so here she is.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Red Poppy Day in the US

In the United States, Memorial Day is set aside to honor those who fought for our way of life, both living and dead. As a people, we can be self-righteous and self-serving, but we are honest in our belief that we fight for the good of everyone. Outside the country the idea that we fight for oil or power or revenge may take hold - but you could never sell a war to Americans on that thought.

We backed the Iraq war originally because we knew that Saddam Hussein was a horrible man that did horrible things to innocent people. We can be naive, no question, but we are pretty transparent in our hopes and dreams for the world.

And so on Memorial Day we (and I) honor those who fought or made the sacrifice of their lives to keep and share our way of life. They didn't die for Republicans or Democrats. Often they didn't die for Americans. They died trying to make life better for everyone. They deserve my thanks. (Picture, Westwood CA Veteran's Cemetery).

Friday, May 25, 2007

Hogzilla 2 killed by 6th grader with .50 revolver

Well, I never....

This kid was hunting (on a hunting ranch) with his dad's .50 caliber revolver and brought down a will hog weighing over 1000 pounds. That is one tough little (or not so little) 6th grader. They are going to make sausages out of it.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

The World is OUTTA Control

What is happening? Wither too the world? Is up the new down? Is left the new wrong (and right the new null)? As they say in my homeland, what gives? Nakid men selling Frenchie beer? It is so not St. Paulie Girl.

Ha Ha Ha

This is pretty much for Ron Peake. Paste into your browser.

Whaaa??? (Lost and American Idol wrap it up)

May I admit to enjoying Lost. I didn't really like the first season, I got into the second season and I have loved this season.

And yet. And yet. The seasons finale should make me hate it. It answers no questions (well, kind of answers one, but not really). But it doesn't make me hate it. In fact, I kind of liked the season finale.

I will say nothing as the only people I know who watch it are in England and maybe haven't seen the finale yet (but they bootleg the US version anyway - so all will be revelled (or not) within hours). But with Lost, you can't really give spoilers. They could have told you everything that was going to be in the finale ahead of time and you would still watch it and go, Whaaa?

And how does anyone recognize Walt - who's last 3 years of puberty has supposedly happened in 40 days?

And.. to change subjects, the last song totally worked for Jordan and you knew Blake was going to lose when they bring out a final song called "This is my now". He should dye his hair blond again and change his name to "Blade" and rolled his eyes at the inanity of the lyrics. Of course this is our "now"; and yesterday's are - I think by their very definition - in the past. These are not revelations about truth, these are.. how do you Americans say.. the meanings of the words. It's like someone put the freakin' dictionary to music.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

You know, you want to be done

You know, you want to be done with Brad Pitt. I mean let's face it, he has 27 kids now. And you just KNOW that Angelina has given him some like asian monkey-pox STD along with herpes right?

But then you see a picture of Brad in Cannes and you sigh. You can't help it. He is just pretty.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Monday Monday

Well, Ronnie-Roo was in New York this week-end. We had a good time generally catching up - we haven't hung out since we all lived in LA. Trevor welcomed him back with barks of approval.

I say this sarcastically as Ed was not a giver of tough love while I was in LA. In fact Trevor has become quite the barker for attention. We are working on this now.

But anyway, one of the funniest things we did was sit in the Viceroy Bar in Chelsea and trash the hoi-poli was they wandered by. Ahh... just like the old days.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

She's in high school and not even legal... get your minds out of the gutter

This is my cousin. She just graduated from high school! I can't even believe we are related, I was a hideous nerd in high school.

Of course my parents didn't by me a lovely perky set for graduation.


Let me just say that she sent me a lovely Thank You note for a graduation gift. It was very nice of her,and included a picture of her new dog. I love thank you notes. Turns out she is lovely on the inside too. (Yes, that is the kind of drivel that comes out when you send a note.)

Tip when sucking up to your boss

Here's a tip when taking your boss out to dinner. And he is tired and ready to go home and visit his friend Gavin. But no, he sits through a 90 minute dinner with you and your (apparently) mute wife.

Don't order desert.

And, if your wife does order desert... don't order the souffle.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

UCLA is the first school with 100 NCAA National Titles

From the UCLA announcement letter....

Whether you call it a race, a run, or a roll, UCLA has now crossed a magical finish line and become the first university in history to win 100 NCAA team championships. It started in 1950when the men's tennis team won title #1. It culminated yesterday as wild, raucous cheering erupted when our women's water polo team defeated Stanford 5-4, making UCLA First To 100. Read more about this amazing feat at http:\\

There's more. A few weeks ago, we claimed victory over the Trojans in the annual Lexus Gauntlet competition. In the six year history of the Gauntlet, neither athletic program had ever swept its arch rival in football, basketball and baseball in the same year...until now. UCLA so dominated USC in 2006-07 that the margin of victory was the greatest ever.

aka Elmer Fudd

Ahhh... To be back in the land of entertainment. Even the trails here are better. Here is a cut of testimony in the Phil Spector murder trial.

"You just had to be there," Kathy Sullivan told lawyers and Los Angeles County Superior Court Judge Larry Paul Fidler. "I think he was wearing a plaid jacket. I remember thinking he looked like Elmer Fudd. The gun was bigger than he was. It was surreal. It was silly."

Apparently the amount of his tips the night of the death also came up ($500 at Dan Tana's and $1200 at Trader Vic's). What this has to do with the death / murder - who knows?

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Casual Week-end (and Hot Fuzz)

So we had a pretty casual week-end. It was relaxing and fun. We went yesterday to see a design show in Dumbo (Down Under the Manhatten Bridge Overpass). It was nice to go to Dumbo with something to do; it is a cool area, but not quite filled in. We took Lynnie when she was out here and it is hip and all, but still quiet. (Lots of kids Saturday).

We also went to the movies and saw Hot Fuzz. It was totally wierd and a kick. It was funny and way off kilter.

I am in LA for work this week and Eddie is home this time.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Ah.. the beauty and charm of flight in the Jet Age

Flying used to be fun. Then a drag. Then a druge. Now it is 1930s Italy, with the TSA in your happy role as Mussolini's Brown Shirts.

We were leaving through Newark last Friday and the lines didn't move. Turns out that all 10 people in both lines had to gather round one of the x-ray machines to try to figure out what this was. Here's an idea. Why don't just 2 of you open that bag?

But... no suggestions, comments, jokes or breathing. The TSA will lock your ass up sooner than you can demand your right to a telephone call (you got no rights in the Airport Buddy!).

So, FINALLY, they figure out the screen has a bottle of liquid that is 3.x ounces. "Ma'am, I am going to have to throw this out. The bottle is more than 3 ounces." "But it isn't full. And it's baby formula." "Ma'am, do you want on this flight?"

So she leaves with that child (luckily not on my flight).

Then a family of obviously upper middle class black people go through security. This, of course, involves shoving all the kids backpacks, shoes, and layers through the x-ray machine. Then the stroller. (One child had an argument with the TSA man when he told her to put the laptop through separately. She didn't have a laptop, it was a dvd player. But laptops have to go separately. But it was a DVD player. But laptops have to go separately. But it was a DVD player. Ultimately, she won. Apparently persistence is the way to go here.)

Of course, then the TSA finds something on the x-Ray which has to go back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. But the stroller, with wheels, has now been twisted and won't fit in the machine. So the dad has to go back to fix it (which annoys a woman whose purse is right behind, now under the stroller.). But Dad has already put on his shoes back on. The TSA explains shoes go through the machine. But they already went through the machine. But what if you altered them inside. Then inside isn't safe. Oh. I don't care. The shoes got to go through again. So the shoes come off again, the stroller is fixed and all seems right with the world.


Someone did not put their shoes through! All family members look around at their socked feet. No, no shoes here.

Almost no one.

The baby has booties / tennis shoes. The baby can't walk, but might be smuggling in a shoe bomb.

I want to scream that a shoe bomb in size 3 month baby freaking booties won't light a fart, much less blow a plane up - but I know where that gets me. Strip searched as I wave my flight goodbye; so I shut up like the other drones as we watch a mother yank the freaking baby booties off to shove them through the machine.

Surprise, they were clean. Thank god for the good people at the Newark TSA!

Monday, May 07, 2007

Yeah!! We are back and we had FUN!

Well back may throw you off, because I lot of people didn't know we were gone. We weren't sure it would all work out, but we were able to go to the Stagecoach festival in Palm Springs this week-end. It was a big-ass country music festival where my 2 favorites singers were.

First, on Saturday afternoon, was Miranda Lambert. She kicked ass! (Ya-hah!) Here are a couple of shots of her. I don't have the uber-zoom, so they aren't Ed quality, but we were really close.

She is in the middle of the stage. By the by, the weather was fabulous!! Here is a big-screen shot so you know who she is.

She was great!! (And got an amazing write up on the LA Times.)

And Sunday night.. well, Kenny Chesney. It was a GREAT show. And, there weren't a zillion people there because this was the first year. It was fun.

Ken--ney! (in front and on the screen)

Kenny on the screen.

And then, there was the basic, you know, eye candy. This is the money shot for Ron.

His girlfriend was getting beers.

These kids had been drinking for a while. Morale of the story, don't pass out in a group of practical jokers. By the by, his friend was calling people over to take pictures with this guy.

So, it was fun on a million levels.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Ed's trip to China

Yes politics bugs the hell out me, so let's move on to something a lot more fun.

Eddie had a very good time in China. I am reconstructing here from his talk to me (and there was wine involved) so I may be a little fuzzy on the details.

He meet with team members in Shanghai and Beijing. He loves Shanghai in general as it is newer and more vibrant. But his pictures of Beijing rocked! He had an afternoon free (which wasn't really that much time considering he was there and working all week-end). He went to the Forbidden City and Tienanmen Square.

So, this is the entrance to the Forbidden City. That is where the Emperors lived (see, I watched Mulan). This is how you always see it (although not always such good pictures Eddie!).

But part of me always thought, "Wow, that is a lot of hard surfaces for a home." Well, it turns out that the farther you go into the Forbidden City, the more private it gets. Until you get to the back which were the private gardens. See that makes a lot of sense to me now.

And, the forbidden city is huge, so maybe on a quick tour you wouldn't go back there.

Then there is the big Fascist / Communist architecture I love. Don't get me wrong, I am not a fan of Fascism or Communism; but the Art and Architecture. It is was designed to overpower and overwhelm the viewer. It was designed so show a person as a cog in the country's power, subservient but critical.

I think it is amazing and interesting. More so there than here (I am so not a fan of the World War 2 memorial on the mall; for America and Americans I love the memorials that celebrate the individual which is what makes our country great).

Anyway, it is very cool. If you want to see Ed's pictures go here:

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

My Honey Meet Herbie the Hottie Last Night

So Eddie went to the Sports Emmys last night. Needless to say, he gravitated right to Herbie the Hottie (Kirk Herbstreit). I can only hope he didn't slobber.

Cognitive Dissonance: Mascot of the Month

JP Calderon

Well, it is May 1 and so a new mascot of the month. And yes, I know that it is surreal to place a humpy boy right after the post about Bush, but such is life in the aughts.

The Mascot of the Month is J.P. Calderon. He first came to attention (on these pages) as he was on Survivor and kicked out ahead of his time. When he was on Survivor, he wasn't out as a gay man - to anyone. He was going to get married and lie about it his whole life.

Instinct Magazine did an interview with him. It was actually sad / enlightening to read. I mean, it isn't boo-de-hoo-de "poor little me", it is very straight forward about how he was going to lie forever because of his family and his upbringing.
I gotta say, my family - while non-conventional in many many ways - has always been really accepting of me being me. I think as long as I am happy, honest and a good person then they were happy for me. And my family never defined "good person" based on who I slept with or who I loved. They only insisted that I was honest with those people.
So, JP Calderon is humpy and cute and a professional Volleyball player, but I was a lot happier for my first 31 years than he was. Which is funny because you always think if you looked like this (see below) you would be really really happy.

But apparently it isn't true. Of course, the one benefit is that even when you are unhappy (like the shot below from Survivor) you are smoking hot.

May 1: International Workers Day and 2 Wildly Different Posts

Okay, today makes no sense. It is Mascot of the Month day - and a post I will copy verbatim from Salon first.
A whole new meaning for "four more years"
On May 1, 2003, George W. Bush stood in front of a "Misson Accomplished" banner on the deck of the U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln and declared: "Major combat operations in Iraq have ended. In the battle of Iraq, the United States and our allies have prevailed."
On May 1, 2007, the president will receive legislation from Congress setting a timetable for the withdrawal of U.S. troops from Iraq. He will veto it.
On May 1, 2007, representatives of the largest bloc of Sunnis in Iraq's parliament Iraqi are threatening to withdraw their ministers from Iraq's cabinet. They say they have "lost hope" that the Shiite-dominated government will treat them fairly.
On May 1, 2007, the Washington Post reports that the number of terrorism incidents in Iraq shot up 91 percent between 2005 and 2006.
On May 1, 2007, gunmen killed 14 Iraqis on a highway outside of Baghdad.
On May 1, 2007, the U.S. cost of the Iraq war will soon exceed $550 billion, enough to pay for college educations for nearly half of the kids in U.S. high schools today.
On May 1, 2007, we close the books on a month in which 104 U.S. soldiers were killed. Approximately 140 U.S. soldiers were killed in Iraq before the president declared that "major combat operations" were over. Approximately 3,211 have been killed since then.

-- Tim Grieve