Friday, December 31, 2004

10 Years - And a gret gift

(Aussie link below)

Eddie and I are coming up on 10 years (around Jan 20). He got me the best picture in the whole world. We were at a gallery in Palm Springs this year - and we saw this.

It's weird - it's a traveling hotel type picture (slanted towards the abstract). It's one of the few things Eddie and I have in common from our childhood. We both stayed at these types of hotels. In fact I think my mom and dad and I would go to a ThunderBird Hotel in Indio every year.

We both remembering running across the hot pavement to the pool (in Ed's case the cold pool, in my case the hot pool). Anyway - I LOVED THIS PICTURE. And Ed got it and had Ron and Lynnie pick it up. You have to see it to get the full thang - but here is a shot of it.


Back from the land down under

Well, we made it in rare form. We had a good time. Will discuss more after sleep.

Here are the simple pics.

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

And so we say aloha to the reef

It has been a great time up at the Reef at Turtle Cove. We are leaving in about 2 hours to go to Sydney.

The flight here sucked. It was 3 hours late leaving LA (just long enough for me to watch the Bruins melt down and lose). Then we missed our direct connection to Cairns - so we flew thru Brisbane on Christmas Day - shops, not so open.

But we have had a blast here. We scuba'ed, we eat, we shopped at Kuranda, we dined in Port Douglas and we meet some nice people. We also meet some a-holes, but what can you do. A lot of the guest (I would say most) were from LA/ Orange County / SF and a lot were not pleasent. We made up for them by being charming.

That's all. Just wanted to say hello to all. Back on New Year's eve.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

The Other Side of the Family

I know, it is hard to believe that I have the other side of the family, but I do. I went down to Honey's to see Uncle Timo, his wife Connie (the movie star - I don't know why the Gilligan's Island theme went through my head) and the girls - Alana and Alyse. This is kind of pic heavy - but since I am gone to Aussie for the next week - what the hey.

Me and Alana (the blond) and Alyse. For those of you with a dirty mind - Alana is a freshman at U of A and Alyse is illegal - so eyes up gentlemen.

This is Uncle Timo and his wife Connie. She is way prettier than the picture.

And this is my grandmother, Honey. On my mom's side (real name Donna).

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Oscar - Really?

Every year on the radio the Oscar race starts.

This all started with the music from Il Postino (the postman). Beautiful lyrical music that captured a bunch of awards for the (great movie). This has prettymuch continued as the artsy movie every year gets a Miramax classical music pitch.

This year it started on "A Very Long Engagement". Understandable.

But over the last few days - the radio has been pushing "Million Dollar Baby".

Let us ignore, for the moment, the unfortunate similarity to the movie title "Million Dollar Mermaid" with Ester Williams - undoubtably a more entertaining movie.

"Million Dollar Baby" (MDB) is about a a woman who becomes a professional boxer. A poor southern woman with no education - who must lean on men to help her. It stars 3 (count 'em 3) oscar winners in Hillary Swank, Clint Eastwood and Morgan Freman. It is offensive to southerns, poor people, women (who must depend on men to make it) and people of all ages with a brain.

Hillary Swank delivers arguable horrible lines ("People say I'm pretty tough.") in even worse hick southernese "Pee-a-pul sah Imah a purty tuff."

Clint Eastwood responds with his best Clint Eastwood impersonation - a growl that says "Girlie tought ...pause... ain't enough" You just want to say "do dah do dah" after it.

Morgan Freeman (token minority) comes off best as he isn't in the commercial.

"For your consideration" Phffbtt!

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Older Quarterbacks shouldn't be allowed to play, but if they can...

I think that it isn't really fair that a player go to BYU, red shirt for a year, then go on a mission and come back and have 4 years of eligabiliy left.

However... if this is going to happen, then good for the Bruins.

Ben Olsen, number 1 prospect when he left high school 3 years ago, is going to be a Bruin. A 6'4" lefty Bruin quarterback. And a Mormon. So hopefully none of the recent Bruin "accidents".

And he will play with Spencer Havner (selected 1st team all American by and and 1st team all cute defense by one scooter mitchell).

Ahhh... Spencer

Oh yea, one more thing. Eddie and I watched DodgeBall last night (thank you Eddie - I love my gift). And the mascot of the month was on the "bad boy" Dodge Ball team (he is "Blade"). He is also SHORT. My honey was duely deflated.

Monday, December 20, 2004

One is less torn

Okay, here is the general problem.
1) USC - the evil empire - is playing Oklahoma (the evil hick empire) for the national championship. In my heart of heart I must 1.a) root for the Pac 10 and 1.b) root against SC. Fro those of you in the Mid-West you can relate with the whole Michigan in the Rose Bowl against Texas (TEXAS!@) debacle.

How does one root for SC?
How does one change a lifetime of loathing?
How does one justify changing their emotions so easily?

Well, it helps if there is a picture of their Heisman winning QB half nakid at a beach last year.

And yes, he does look even hotter bigger -

Friday, December 17, 2004

Christmas Time and the nuts are out

You know, all over TV (Bill O'Rilly) and radio, the right wingers are attacking everyone who isn't Christian for driving Christmas out of the publich square and replacing it with "Happy Holidays".

1) Shut up. This isn't really happening. You are just saying this crap because you have already won your election and convinced the populace that "elites" are "trying to twist the country to their side."

2) I love the meaning of Christmas. It is a celebration of all that is good in religion. It is a celebration of Jesus, who preached love, family and committment.

I mean bascially Christian religion is a good thing. It teachs humility, chariety, truthfulness, and obligation to one's family and community. You don't have to believe in God, to believe these are good things.

I love Christmas. Not just the presents, and the tacky lights and making fun of Ed having to ride his bike in the basement. No, I love the spirit behind it. We are all family. I mean the human family might be a stretch for some, but people are capible of so much good as a community. Sure we have crazies, but it our job to stop them. I mean, if you believe that humanity is a family, then it is up to us to make sure that old Uncle Ali doesn't hit the sauce to hard before the dinner.

And you shouldn't make such a mess in the kitchen that it is hard to clean up (I'm talking to you Aunt Serbia).

I can't always worry about the world-wide family. But I can say to my family (related by blood, marriage or firendship) I hope you have a wonderful Christmas Season. Open your heart to the people that love you. And clean up your room damnit. This isn't a motel!

Thursday, December 16, 2004


Sunset tonight on the 16th. The Santa Ana's blow all the smog over the ocean, making purty sunsets.


Well, you have seen Faithie as a Badger and a Halloweenie tramp (she said rock-star - but let's not kid ourselves). Well she looks much sweeter at Christmas.

It could be becasue she is sweeter or it could be because her big brother looks like trouble waiting to hit his teens. Either way - get the last shot before they cause their parents heart ache :-)

Big Picture HH04big.jpg

And then the wind came

1) And then the wind came and all is better.

Yes ladies and germs, the Santa Ana winds have kicked up. Our Christmas wishes have come true.

I woke up this morning, open the garage door and the wind whipped through. Before I could even bundle up, I realized it was the warmth of the Santa Ana's. Nothing beats a hot (like 80 degree) wind at 8 in the morning.

I know it is earthquake weather. I know that more killings occur during the Santa Ana winds. I know that big rigs blow over (2 this morning on the 210). But it is all mitigated by the lovely lovely warm wind.

2) As for yesterday's post about the scary Grinch and other holiday wierdness, my Uncle Timo takes full responsability. He took me to see Yellow Submarine when I was very young and he thinks it might have scared me for life.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Taunting Me...

So I am going to work this morning. I left early so as to make a 8AM meeting. I am actually on the 10 at 7:15. The 10 is moving at a ... very.... slow.... pace....

I am holding my annoyance in check, until...

They just finished a new sound barrier on the 10 and put a new sign on top. The new sign says, I swear.. "65 MPH speed limit."

Now, I may be wrong - but I think I am right. The last time I drove 65 on the 10 was about... oh .. 10 years ago.

I am exhausted

You know, I find this time of year odd.

First, I love the cards and things, but I get tired. And I don't like the lunches. Lunch with team A, gift wap lunch with team B, 20 year lunch for this person.

What happened to celebrating the birth of our lord with a good old Peanuts cartoon and then eating enough food on one day to throw up. Now we have the Grinch, and I did like the original, but then came Santa Claus' Workshop, Santa vs. the Martians. Now this year, the Polar Express - which is just plain creepy. That will give you nightmares!

As will the Grinch live action film. I tried to watch it on TV, and they had a back story. A BACK STORY for the Grinch. He is mucher tougher to dislike when you know that all the Who's down in Whoville were Who-assholes to him. It's like findingout that Santa isn't a kindly old man that likes giving gifts to good kids, but some pathetic pedophile working off pastlife karma.

Any Who (get it), our tree is sadly bare. We aren't really giving gifts to each other becasue we are going to Australia - but I don't like the nakid tree, so something will have to be done.

And how Christmas-y can you feel when you start your day with a discussion of how to put Arabic on ATMS, and you have to fill in on a conference call tonight at 6PM for an hour or 2 to discuss chip card problems in Chinese!

See.. creepy

Monday, December 13, 2004

Hot Italian Men

You want hot Italian Men? Well have we got a Calendar for you. Example.

Yes, dumb, young and full of ... God.

God? Yes, this stud of the month calendar is put out by the Vatican. Swear.

Other pics here.

Mexico - the good, the bad and the ugly

Well, let's start with the good. The condo looks like it will work. It is a great 4 bed 4 bath unit on the 5th and 6th floors. There is private access to a private beach (and we get our own little numbered thatched roof thingy. The price is great and it will make money. WE just need to investigate via a Mexican lawyer or notary (they are different there).

The bad. Well, there was nothing really bad this trip. Ed had a lot of heartburn, but we don't know why. I ate everything and loved it. I think Ed just didn't have enough tequila.

Okay, one other bad thing. The water had big waves that kicked up a lot of sand, so as you body surfed you got sand everywhere. EVERY where (if you know what I mean). Then, to rinse off they had a shower by the bar. You had to ask the bar man to turn it on, and open your suit to try to get the sand out. Everyone (me, other guys, girls) started out just trying to rinse, but that didn't work. Nope, pretty soon you were showering in front of the bar wiping sand out of your ass (or even less fortunate places for the girls) as people drank margaritas and pretended not to watch.

The ugly. Well, this is for mature audiences.
So on Sunday we go to the beach to lay out a little. We start at our beach at the hotel. We move down for drinks to the gay beach. Let us remind you that, it costs money to go to Mexico, so the gay beach is decidedly older than the ones you would picture. Eddie and I were well t the south of the average age. But no big deal. We are sitting, having a bite of food, maybe a little margartia or Corona.

Now on a gay beach, there is always too much flesh. Too many speedos. Often, they look great, more often they look wrong - just wrong. You can imagine that as the average age goes up, the wrongness level does too. Eddie and I wore square cuts. But there was a lot of bad speedos.

We looked, we laughed .. you the basics. And then, well we were stunned.

There was a guy, I am going to say maybe 70, in a red and orange speedo. The sides were red and the back and front were orange, and he stood in profile to us. He had that 70 year old ass. You know, it somehow manages to be droopy - and yet at the same time almost non-existent.

But it was the front that was amazing. This old guy looked like he had stuffed a banana squash down his crotch. It just this big wad of stuff up front. You couldn't miss it. And it wasn't (how to say daintily) "defined", it was just a big wad of flesh. At first, I assumed he had a goiter. But if you have a goiter, do you wear speedos?

Ed said he stuffed, but if so it was his beach towel. Maybe he had been in the sun and heat so long his parts had lost the ability to contract?

I don't know. But in any case there should be a limit to the age at which one can wear a speedo. No matter how in shape they are. And I say, whatever that age is, he has passed it.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Christmas Pictures

So I love getting Christmas picture cards. So much that I added a like to them on the right.

Here is the link.

UCLA Wins NCAA WaterPolo Title

How do they get the horses into the pool.

That is the Score in the background. At it was hosted at Stanford.

Gez, and what is with the ugly facial hair?

My dog watcher just found out he is old

So it has been much easier to travel lately becasue we have the Erwin-ator. He is a really nice guy from Citibank, who house sits when we are gone.

Erwin likes to house sit because he likes the dogs and loves to go out in Hollywood. Erwin is a young 30, kinda hip and doesn't party like crazy, but parties enough. FYI - he thinks the house is a chick magnet.

So far so good.

Well Tuesday Erwin's sister (fresh out of college) invited him to a new cool Hollywood Club (CineSpace - very hip, very 10 minutes from now) where a friend of hers was playing in a band.

So they go see the band. It was kind of college alt rock. You know, the first song was about depression, the second was about suicide, the third was about breakups. And Erwin says to his sister "when do they play the happy songs?"

That was when he sister and her friends rolled their eyes and looked away. But that wasn't the moment Erwin realized he was old.

That moment came when the set was fianlly over, and they walked into the main room. And the DJ was playing Janet Jackson's Nasty Girl. And all the friends sighed dramatically - and Erwin was just happy it was a song he knew and at least kind of liked.

Age creeps up when you least expect it.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Hello from Bradley's House

We're out with Bradley-san for dinner at Lucys. I love Lucy's.

We are looking at Bradley's HBA getting ready for Australia. Bradley-san is a big Texan queen who LOVES product. Lord love him.

One last thing today

Okay, I am busy "cut & paste" 'ing Simplified Chinese text regarding ATMs between spreadsheets. I know I am a little bored. Sorry.

Last post of the day.

Remember that guy, Berg, from Two Guys and A Girl (for the twos seasons called Two Guys a Girl and a Pizza Place)?

Well he done grown up good. (Pic from Blade / Trinity).

Which came first: the duck or the idea

So I was reading about how the Aflac duck is going to be in the new Jim Carry movie. So far so good.

Then I read that Aflac has actually changed it's logo to include the duck. And I thought, did the change occur because the duck was so well recieved, or was it pushed and they knew they would change.

I just find it odd that an insurance company would change it's logo to include the picture of duck. Don't get me wrong, I love ducks. When I was a youth I had a duck, Clyde. It's just odd.

Scott Overcompensates

Okay, last night, perhaps... maybe... filiesch, I slightly over compensated.

I can't sleep when the heater is on too high. So when I went to bed, I turned off the heater upstairs, and turned the heater downstairs to, like, 57. Apparently our bedroom gets hotter in the warm weather and colder in the cold weather than the room with the thermostat.

So this morning, at about 4:30, I hear both dogs trying desperately tp curl into smaller balls of fur (which I have just had clipped off).

I get up and make Ed take Hastings and I take Ashford. I know Ashford won't sleep with me (he likes to be alone). Well the poor brown puppy snuggled under the covers, crept between my arm and my torso and buried his head into a pillow.

Oh my, I almost killed the poop-ster! I can see the headlines now, "14 Year Old Dog Killed by CheapAss Owner". Okay, tonight I will turn up the heat a little.

FYI - that "Reform Bill" that gives the new Intelligence Director controll over the Budget. A late edition makes that controll over 20% of the Budget. As Zela would say, whoo pee. (FYI - This is not a rant.)

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

See it's colder here

Now before you jump all over me, let me point out some facts on why we are freezing our butts off here in 40 - 50 degree weather.

As you may or may not know, the earth here shakes. That means that the buildings must sway and not break. So we can't use brick or many heavy materials. We use a little wood and plasterboard. And sometimes some insulation.

But we we ripped off the siding of our house in the remodel, there wasn't even insullation. Just wood siding outside, and plasterboard inside. Not so much protection from the weather. Likewise, we have the beauitful post and beam ceiling. It is gorgeous. Most of you have seen it. But there is no attic; just the roof. No insullation.

And as for heaters, HA! We have big ass air-conditioners, but little tiny heaters. My condo didn't have heat.

Many homes here have "ambiant heat". In case you don't know what that is, it is heat coils in the cottage cheese roof. Think about that. Electric heating in the roof. It is expensive, and only warm when you stand up off the couch.

Luckily we don't have a lot of weather. But when we have it, Scooter is not amused.

Then there is Ed who loves to turn on the heat to like, 90, at night in a room with the dogs and he and I and a comforter. I start to sweat, and turn over and he has thrown off all his comforters and covers and is snoring like an angel. An angel with a severely deviated septum.

Monday, December 06, 2004

Excited - A-Twitter - Can't Wait!

So, Eddie and I will go to Puerto Vallarta Friday / Saturday / Sunday, looking for a condo. As Ed says, "rental income" as I say, "retirement planning".

Either way the tempeture over the next few days is set at
87, 82, 86, 84, 87


And Margaritas and tacos and burritos. ohhhh I love Mexico.

Friday, December 03, 2004

Ronnie Roo gets all the breaks

So I am working and I get a call.

ring ring ring ring

Guess where I am?
I dunno know
Gold's. Guess how is working out next to me?
Humm (insert ex-boyfriends name).
Nope. (beat) The Mascot of the month. And he hasn't shaved in a few days.

I hate him.

Drama on Qubec Dr.

So this morning I get up to get in my truck. I am, as usual, balancing my water bottle, gym clothes (for some reason I only take out extra shirt and socks during the week. I use the same gym shorts – which creates this big pile of dirty gym clothes in the back seat – I don’t know why), lunch stuff and clicker. So it takes me a while to actual get in the truck.

I get the door open, and this white Land Rover (the discovery,not the big one) races down the street. My door is in his way, so I step back and close the door. No matter.

He has actually screeched to a stop at the house 1 up from us.

A little about that neighbor. He is a new guy. Nice enough. Gay and a PR person. I mean life, Edwina Monsoon PR type. PR PR . He is presently promoting an energy drink called (kid you not) GAY Fuel.

Well, he lives alone, but last night he had a friend. There was a blue Land Rover (the really little Freestyle) there all last night. Now maybe he wasn’t there (there is some GAY FUEL shin-dig this week) but maybe he was.

All I know is that the white Discovery stops, and out jumps an obviously annoyed boy. How do I know. Well, it is 7:30 on a cold morning, and the driver hops out “dressed” in a white bathrobe. That’s it. No shoes, no shorts (it was a floppy bathrobe), no service.

He marches out, and bangs on the door next door. There is discussion.

Here I fall down on my job – I admit it. I strain to listen, but it’s trash day and the beep beep beep of trucks throws me off.

Two seconds later he marches back to the Discovery followed by a golden lab, opens the back door and the lab jumps in. The lab, FYI, doesn’t live next door. He turns on his car, and then has to drive by me. I smile and wave.

He’s gay, so when a boy smiles and waves at you, you always have to wave back. It’s instinctual. So he does, floppy robe and all.

Thursday, December 02, 2004

I pass this on without comment

From the AP via the LA Times

WASHINGTON — Under detailed questioning by a federal judge, government lawyers asserted Wednesday that the U.S. military could hold foreigners indefinitely as enemy combatants at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, even if they aided terrorists unintentionally and never fought the United States.

Could a "little old lady in Switzerland" who sent a check to an orphanage in Afghanistan be taken into custody if, unbeknownst to her, some of her donation was passed to Al Qaeda terrorists? asked U.S. District Judge Joyce Hens Green.

She could," replied Deputy Associate Atty. Gen. Brian Boyle. "Someone's intention is clearly not a factor that would disable detention." It would be up to a newly established military review panel to decide whether to believe her and release her.

Scooter says, just to be on the safe side I would not be giving money to any charities if I were vous.

funny or happy?

Funny or happy? It's a good question to ask. Let's start with (drumroll please)....

So I am coming into work today I hear about the killer shrimp. What makes this shrimp so deadly is that it killed - after being cooked. Dastardly!

Apparently at a Beni Hana's in Long Island, some guy took his family to Beni Hana's for his son's birthday. The cook would occasionally fling parts of the food at them (that mean SOB, if only there was a way to predict that would happen - like any commercials they make or all the pictures in the restaurant). So this scary chef continues to fling hot food, and actually threw a piece of a shrimp at the father. He ducked out of the way.

Ahh. And therein lies the problem. You see the Beni Hana chairs don't have whiplash headrests. So he hurt his neck. Well, 5 months later he goes to a doctor (I think this was a "Dr. Quack" but I may have the name wrong). The Doctor convinces him that he vertebrates are hurt, so he must have an operation. He does.

Dr. Quack finds out that that "an operation" is very little like the game "operation" and botches the vertebra "fixin' thingy". The Beni Hana Trauma patient needs a second operation.

The second operation, while doing a better job of vertebra fixin', has the small (tiny really) down side of introducing some minor infections. From which the husbands dies.

The family, sad beyond belief, files a wrongful death suit at Beni Hana for a meal that occurred 10 months earlier.

The judge, faced with the legal precendent that requires a clear chain of causation, allows the case to move forward and go to trail. I wish I could be on that jury.

I love Arnold. Really. I know Eddie didn't vote for him, but I love him.

California politics sucks (like must politics) because it is dominated by the die-hards (on both sides). A big (nay - mammoth) cause is our politicians love of drawing safe districts. So it is a Republican or Democratic district (in CA of course mainly Democratic). So the real fight is in the primary - and the craziest, most left or right wing guy wins.

Arnold wants to change that. Wants a different way to draw districts. Yeah! "But Scott, " I hear you say, "the legislature will never go for that." Oh yee of little faith. You forget you live in California - land of crazies.

We have a constitution that allows the Governor to, wait for it, call a special election to vote on anything with 5 months notice.

And Scooter smiles.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Fun and Minor Rant

Before I run into a horrible all day meeting (Xanax already taken), let me say a couple of fun things.

1) The tamale festival is this week-end. Eddie and I LOVE a local festival, and the Tamale Festival is one of the best. The old Mexican ladies from every church in a 50 mile radius make tamles and bring them... yum.

2) We are going to Mexico next week-end to look into buying a condo - yeah! That means 3 days of yummy yummy food! I love Mexico.

3) The dogs are getting their hairs cut today so that is nice.

Minor Rant

I recall being told that the Marriage Amendments passed only effected marriage. Well, in Michigan the Attourney General is looking at it. A couple fo representatives have stated that the state amendment should invalidate State Workers Union's contracts - because they offer same sex health benefits. The canary wheezes.