Thursday, December 27, 2007

Merry Christmas

It's a little late, but Merry Christmas. Eddie and I are in the desert and have seen a bunch of friends. Lynn is here, Bradly and Muffin have been here. I think Kathryn and Butterbean are coming as are Gavin and Micky later. Anyway it has been grand pookie, really grand.

xoxo

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Fame for Fame's Sake



It doesn't surprise me that Britney Spear's mother has a book just waiting to come out, although I was surprised it was going to be a how-to book on being a good mother. Nor does it particular surprise me that Britney's 16 year old sister is pregnant by her boyfriend (not husband). I mean this family is just one lucky / skanky video away being life time waitresses at a downmarket "Hooters" knock off.

What did surprise me is that the book is being published by a Christian book publisher, Thomas Nelson. Self proclaimed Christian and Inspirational Publisher (really).

So all of you who were waiting for "Pop Culture Mom: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World" to come out so you could learn how to raise nice level headed daughters like Britney and the expanding Jamie Lynne, will have to wait.

You see, saying that you a a Christian Values publisher means that people will judge you on that basis. I know it's not fair, but it is the same thing as having a gay flag on your car or wearing a yamika. If you advertise it, then you actions are held up as an example of the group behavior. Fairly or unfairly. I myself have cursed bad gay drivers with those horrible little flags as letting whole world know that you are a gay idiot that cuts people off!! Like I said, it's not fair, but we all do it.

Still, I think Thomas Nelson Publishing should have seen this one coming a mile away. Come on! Britney Spears' mother as a child rearing expert? This Britney Spears?



Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Murray Hill

So, the other night Ed and I went with Paul & Randy to see Murray Hill's Christmas Extravaganza. I don't know what I expected. The NY Times had written it up as a fun Christmas Season thing to do. Murray Hill, "The Hardest Working Middle Aged Man in Show Business", was have a burlesque, cabaret Christmas spectacular at a Theater neat us.


It was billed as a "hilarious, heartfelt holiday hi-jinks". It was, in fact, a complete hoot.

Let us start with the Zipper, which is a tiny theater "space" that holds about 250 people. We all sat up to the left of the stage on Mini-Van seats that had been pulled out and made into theater seats. The stage was a mid-west take on the "Playboy After Dark" set, complete with Foamcore fireplace which Santa was suppose to come through, but instead a parade of buxom girls (you notice I did not say buxom beauties - they were female, and buxom, but not such the beauty unless you went for that whole tatoo'ed hooker, hit in the face with an ugly stick look).

When Murray showed up, imagine our surprise that the 50 year old mensch was, in fact, a short crass little lesbian in drag. And Murray was Fun-knee.



The show just got weirder as the evening progressed. Tap dancing triplets shook their money makers around the stage (I use tap dancing very liberally in this sentence - they could neither tap nor dance - but their shoes made noise). Their was a lesbian choir from Massachusetts (really). And "Dirty Martini" a stripper who was at her best probably 50 pounds and 15 years ago. However she could make those tassels move in the same direction, alternate directions or make one go up and down as the other went across (I can't even do that think where you pat your head and rub your tummy). Of course, her liberal amount of belly flab moved at the same time, giving you peeks of her thong - but the tassels held your attention.

And below is Bridget Everett. The woman could belt out a song like nobody. The song, truth be told, was too dirty to repeat here. Let's just say it describes a sexual act which is still illegal between a man and a woman in many states.

As appropriate to this Christmas extravaganza, cocktails were served and you were allowed, nay encouraged, to head to the bar every now and then.

You can't make these thing up. And, can I say, it was a spot-on perfect antidote to Christmas shopping.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Joc and the Grinch

My friend Jocelyn was coming out to New York for a meeting on Thursday and then Friday we were going to go see the play How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

Well, Thursday flights weren't great. But Joc ("joss") got to the airport at 10:30 AM to ge the early flight, in before the storm. Cancelled. So she got ont he 1:50 flight to land at 3:05 (Rochester New York to New York city is short). It left the gate at 2:10 and fianlly took off a 1/2 hour later. AT 4:15 Ed and I looked at flight tracker and she was circling Albany. At 5:15 - still circling. At 5:30, the plane was head back to Rochester. At 6:15 the plane had landed.. in Philadelphia!!!

She tried to get a ticket back to Rochester, but the nice counter person told her she never left Rochester, so she couldn't get a ticket back - because, despite her physical presence in Philadelphia, the computer said she was in Rochester. You can't argue with the computer.

She finally got home at 10:45. Twelve hours and 15 minutes after she left and having never really gone anywhere. But she wanted a report of the Grinch. So here it is.

How the Grinch Stole Scooter's Sense of Christmas

The book was a 5 minute read, 10 minutes tops
TV show was half hour, well done – mad props

But the play plays ninety minutes,
much too long to stretch it out
So they added songs and stage business,
kids that scream and kids that shout

You see the Grinch, the big green wonder, doesn’t enter til scene five
And the audience is restless, “The plays not alive!”

They pick a line from the story to make into a song
But the line they pick from the book is wrong, wrong…
"Oh the noise, noise NOISE!"

The noise in the book is music, made from toys and from dreams
The noise in the play is just those kids and those extra loud screams
Yes they scream at the Grinch, who covers in fright
They scream and they scream and I think that I might
Have to go into hiding, as yelling starts in the throng
Just the thing that I need, an audience scream sing-along

The Grinch finally stops them, I cheer for the Grinch
They’re stopped with a bop, it’s easy, a cinch

Of course the “song” is reprised, three times, maybe four
Am I lucky and sit in seat 20, I would head for the door
But no such luck
I am stuck
Another hour or more

Other things happen, not much, but a few
Some Singing,
Some Dancing,
A song from Cindy Lou Who
Snow comes from the roof (cannons go off too)

It finally comes to an end, it staggers to a stop
Grinchy green bows, and all the kids applaud for the flop

And our Scooter? He’s trying to get to the door
He thinks of Joc in the air, 5 hours or more
And he thinks, "Would I have traded places with her?"
"Yes", in an instant, of that he is sure

He slips on his i-pod
hurries to his door
He thinks of the play.
One word.
Nevermore.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

ha ha...



Welcome Climate Change Sinners and Demons!

Yes, you have joined the Atheists, Agnostics, Muslims, Pro-Choice, Homosexual, Divorced, Adulterous, Non-tithing, Mormons, Birth-Control taking, John Kerry supporting sinners on their march straight to hell.

The (not-really-nazi)Pope has proclaimed YOU the next contestant on the Catholic Church's new show, "Don't Piss the Pope Off."



The Pope condemns the climate change prophets of doom



Only in New York.

People come from all over the world to stand a gape at the Window displays in New York. FYI, most of them are precious little scenes from fairy tales or movies with animated figures. And by “animated figures” I mean the frozen doll on one foot is on a spinner so it looks like she is spinning on the ice. Not “animated” as in any movement.

If you have ever been to Disneyland, these are the windows by the Emorium (on Main Street) used to bring [New Movie X] to Life, Right Before Your Eyes! They are something cute to see on the way out of the park, not something to queue up for in snow for 45 minutes at Macys, only to go home and say “Wow, that made my trip!”

Of course, you now me. I like the weird ass windows – as is my wont. These are from Bergdorf Goodman. You would never purchase any of these outfits. One is couture and the other two are made for the window only by 2 famous designers I cannot spell (Gautier and something-icci). Only the tuxedo is off the rack. It is a tuxedo by Armani worn by a man with a crocodile head.

Anywho, I love them.

"Earth"


"Fire" (Chris Cronin thought this would be better in red, but I think she was taking "fire" too literally.)

"Water" (Crocidile head man)

See, now these are cool windows. But you never see little kids lining up for 45 minutes to see this. Oh no... they want to see Pocahontas ice skating with the Zulu boy and the little girl with the wodden shoe/skates.

Right, I think there is a better shot of Crocidile Head Man escorting Angela Jolie to the Oscars, than some Hamptons House Homebody letting 2 little poor dark skin childern skate on her pond (Helga, you can come in.).

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

So Jack in the Box advertised on VH1

So, Eddie and I were watching "America's Most Smartest Model" and there was an ad for Jack in the Box. So I filled in mhy address and found the closest Jack in the Box. It is 42 seconds away.

10 hours, 19 minutes and 42 seconds away.

------------

DIRECTIONS
DISTANCE
1) Start out going NORTHWEST on W 42ND ST toward 9TH AVE. 0.17 mi

2) Turn LEFT onto 9TH AVE. 0.28 mi

3) Take the LINCOLN TUN ramp toward NEW JERSEY. 0.11 mi

4) Merge onto NY-495 W (Crossing into NEW JERSEY). 4.23 mi

5) Merge onto I-95 S/NEW JERSEY TURNPIKE S via the exit on the LEFT toward I-280/NEWARK/I-78 (Portions toll). 6.37 mi

6) Keep RIGHT to take I-95 S/NEW JERSEY TURNPIKE S toward EXIT 14-14C/CARS/TRUCKS-BUSES (Portions toll). 0.45 mi

7) Merge onto I-78 W toward US-1/NEWARK AIRPORT/US-22 (Portions toll). 1.42 mi

8) Keep LEFT to take I-78 EXPRESS LN W toward GARDEN STATE PARKWAY/CLINTON. 9.31 mi

9) I-78 EXPRESS LN W becomes I-78 W (Portions toll) (Crossing into PENNSYLVANIA). 125.73 mi

10) Merge onto I-81 S via EXIT 1B on the LEFT toward HARRISBURG (Passing through MARYLAND and WEST VIRGINIA, then crossing into VIRGINIA). 370.14 mi

11) Merge onto I-77 S via EXIT 81 toward CHARLOTTE NC (Crossing into NORTH CAROLINA). 124.88 mi

12) Merge onto I-85 S via EXIT 13B toward SPARTANBURG. 2.19 mi

13) Take the BROOKSHIRE BLVD/NC-16 exit, EXIT 36, toward DOWNTOWN. 0.18 mi

14) Merge onto BROOKSHIRE BLVD/NC-16 N toward NEWTON. 0.38 mi

15) Turn RIGHT onto N HOSKINS RD. 0.02 mi

Total Estimated Time: 10 hours, 19 minutes, 42 seconds
Total Distance: 645.85 miles

And now, News for Boobs (literally)



From Salon .. for those of you without access to Salon and with Boobies...

Someday, bras will be writing this blog


Bras have been on my mind lately. (Also, on my back. Bah-DUM-dum.) I recently wrote a story about getting fitted for a bra. And today, what crosses my glittery pink desktop but a story about the "intelligent bra," a futuristic brassiere that has sensors in the fabric and adjusts for maximum comfort and support. Whoa, welcome to the future: No jet-pack, but supersonic lingerie! Women of all cup sizes can get behind this. The intelligent bra sounds like one of those Sharper Image chairs, but for your boobs. Ladies and gentlemen, I am so in. Now, whether you consider a healthy 33-year-old woman complaining about her giant rack to be interesting or totally annoying, you cannot argue with me that it makes exercise more difficult. As for running, I think I speak for large-breasted women everywhere when I say: "Ouch."

Monday, December 10, 2007

Visit from our neighbors in PS

So Chris and Tim spent the week-end out from Palm Springs. They came out here for Chris' birthday and a visit. They enjoyed shopping and bumbling around the decorations. Then, last night, they helpedus decorate the tree.

Then they took pictures with Eddie. And they don't drink, go figure.


..and some things are just for Eddie

Some things are for me and some things are just for my honey...


Friday, December 07, 2007

Oh Baby, This one is from the Heart....

It is a great movie.



At the end, when Rite Coolage sings "Take Me Home", I dare you not to tear up.l

From Lynnie: Careful what you wish for..

MY LIVING WILL

Last night my girlfriend and I were sitting in the den and I said to her, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive. That would be no quality of life at all, If that ever happens, just pull the plug.' So she got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine.

She's such a bitch.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Least Sexy Thing to say to someone

So, let's say someone who is 48 and cute as a bug with a puppy is getting on the elevator. And let's just say that you (a much younger and cute young man) gets off the elevator as said handsome 48 year old Bruin with puppy gets on. What is the Least Sexy Thing, Ever, you can say?

"Excuse me, sir."

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Donkey's Christmas Words of Wisdom

So we watched the Tivo'ed "A Shrek Christmas" and we heard these words of wisdom from Donkey.



"Don't worry about getting mad. It's not Christmas until somebody cries."

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Another UCLA Coach Bits the Dust (about 3 seasons too late)

I think all the Bruins had to do, for Karl to keep his job, was play USC well. You could tell from our first touch of the ball (leading to a fumble) it was not to be. We played like we did all year, like stinky poo-poo. I think we probably led the country fouls.



He was a nice guy and a pretty good recruiter. Unfortunately he was a so-so coach and a horrible motivator (as opposed to good old Steve Lavin who was a lousy coach but a great motivator).

No more no fun….

The post below from this morning is true, but it is no fun. So I made it smaller. So let’s give a fun story.

You’ve all heard of the “dodo” bird, yes? Apparently the dodo was the big bird of Mauritius. It was about 3 feet tall, flightless and tasty. I say tasty, because they didn’t put up much of a fight as the sailors passing by stopped and ate them. (And I say penguins must taste AWFUL, of they would have gone the way of the dodo – but I digress.)

But it wasn't just ugly and tall. It is, like, the rock-star of Mauritius. I mean there is no other indigenous animals (the "kiss-my-french-ass" waiter with attitude - although plentiful in the beach resorts, has been imported to the islands). So the Mauritians love them so dodo action.

So on Mauritius, ex-home of the dodo, there are dodo nic-nacs everywhere. I mean carved dodos, painted dodos, giant faux dodos, dodos on the national seal. You would think the damn bird was lurking somewhere in the bushes. But it went extinct like in the 1680s.

And, like any good marketing campaign, you catch yourself wanting dodo stuff pretty quickly. I have a dodo ashtray, we have a dodo sticker, and it is only because we didn’t really like Mauritius that everyone is not getting a little carved dodo. I mean I satisfied my dodo urge for about 4 bucks, but you could spend thousands for a life sized dodo.

Here is a picture of the homely little cherub.



Dumb, slow and ugly as sin. But... you know... tastes like chicken.

Shame on Me.

Fool me once...

Okay, let me start with the facts before I let loose a tirade (which I will not do). The Bush Administration, by
IT'S OWN ADMISSION, has stated it knows that Iran gave up it's Nuclear Bomb work in 2003.

Fair enough, thanks for the truth (although you got caught - you didn't cough it up on your own). But, the administration has know this for months. During those same months, the President, the Vice-President, our Secretary of State, our Secretary of Defense and our Secretary of Energy have been building up to war.

And if you think I am wrong - remember our
President's words, "the threat of Iran with a nuclear weapon very seriously," and that the best way to prevent "World War III" would be to prevent the Iranians from obtaining the "knowledge necessary to make a nuclear weapon."

Or this gem from
Cheney, we should "reach for any tool that's available" -- including the "possible use of military force" -- to "discourage the Iranians from enriching uranium and producing nuclear weapons.

So if you thought Bush and Cheney wouldn't lie again and try to lead us into an unnecessary and futile war to prove their manhood. Well, "Fool me twice...

An administration that lies repeatedly about issues of life and death does not deserve our respect. It doesn't deserve the respect of the world.

America once stood for honesty, the rights of people and self-determination. That is the America I miss. It's like when you come home from summer break and your best friend moved. And you never got the chance to say good-bye. You ache.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Wondering....

You know, if you aren’t from this country it might be impossible to describe the depth of weariness and despair with which we view the Presidential Campaign circus. It is now entering its 10th month, with 10 more to go before it is all over.

And as they preach their uplifting messages about Hate for the “other” (other party, other candidates, other people that want to set bombs and kill us, other people that want to climb over the border and take our jobs, other people in Hollywood that want to destroy our morality, other people in Virginia who use god to club us, other people in Washington would don’t care terrorist are bent on destroying us, other people in Washington who themselves are bent on taking away our liberties; others who are not like you and therefore are a threat to you , your family, your way of life, and your ability to take a piss in private, THEM!!!!!) As they preach this; the message is loud and clear --- you should lock the door, close the windows and don’t make a peep until they are elected.

It is crap.

Then on TV are the “making a difference” stories about real people. A kid in Arizona started a charity that build a hospital and high school for AIDs orphans in Zambia. Military in Iraq got a community in the mid-west to send toys to kids with nothing. A school teacher in the Bronx is setting up mentorships.

I don’t know where our tax dollars go. I mean even after you pay for the lobbyist, the corporate jets, the constant constant constant campaigning, the hush money, the hooker money, the building of ever better bombs (and replacement bombs), the study and prototyping of ever more efficient ways to kill people; can’t some teeny tiny percent of that money be used to build some schools or orphanages or send a school supplies and toys to a country we have bombed back into the Flintstone’s era.

Why are our elected officials (not our government, not our way of government, I love the country) but why are the men and women we pick such absolute assholes?

Mascot for December: Colt Brennan

Colt Brennan has been mentioned before. Previously it was only to note that the Hawaii QuarterBack is a cutie (I think there might have been some hair comment in their to confuse the issue, but we all know why there were pictures of Colt Brennan.






Well, he has wrapped up the season as the leader of the only undefeated Major School. He has set the record in college history for the most touchdowns in his carrer. He made mistakes (passing on the pro's, I think a DUI) and took his punishment quietly and fairly.






Now, Hawaii is in their first MAJOR BCS bowl ever. By not being a quitter he has brought honor back to himself as well as some millions of dollars to the University of Hawaii.

Since there is a West Coast Bias against footballers, I don't think hehas much of a Heisman chance, but I am sure he will d well in the pros.







Plus, he is a goof that still likes fishing and hanging out in Hawaii.



Sunday, December 02, 2007

Okay: Totally Nerd Alert; But Funny

I think you might have to be a certain age to get this....


Vancouver 2010 Mascots

Olympic Mascots keep getting better...

Vancouver 2010 mascots unveiled
Leave it to Canada to have a cryptozoological beatie like a sasquatch as its Olympic mascot. Vancouver 2010 unveiled their Olympic and Paralympic mascots: Quatchi the Sasquatch, Miga the Sea Bear, and Sumi the Thunderbird.


Saturday, December 01, 2007

Engala (Lion) from the Safari

Here is a picture of one of the lions we saw on safari. In the local language it is called an "engala".


The whole picture set of the safari is here. I warn you there are tons so don't go if you have work or anything.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Err.. what...

Two things that don't quite make sense when put together...

AP Story 1
VATICAN CITY (AP) - Pope Benedict XVI strongly criticized atheism in a major document released Friday, saying it had led to some of the "greatest forms of cruelty and violations of justice" ever known.

AP Story 2
KHARTOUM, Sudan (AP) - Thousands of Sudanese, many armed with clubs and swords and beating drums, burned pictures of a British teacher Friday and demanded her execution for insulting Islam by letting her students name a teddy bear Muhammad.

Carson and Urs are here

Well, Carson and Ursula are here for the week-end and last night was fun. We went to a hockey game. Oh,I know what you think, but it was a kick.

The Rangers won. Ursula got accidentally spitteled on - during a screaming match between Ranger and Islander fans. Then the guy felt terrible so he got her another cocktail.

Okay, it sounds gross, but it was crazy ass fun. The crowd was a sterotype of what you would expect at a New York Rangers versus New York Islanders match.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Video of the Elephant and the Giraffe

(and no, I have no idea way there is no sound)

Here is the video of an Elephant trying to impress us.



Here is the video of the Giraffe walking. I think these are amazing animals (sorry the trees are in the way).

The Two Issues

So before I go on and on about how cool South Africa is, I had 2 areas of concern and I will answer them for you, less you have the same concerns.

RACE RELATIONS
How are the race relations? Better than almost anywhere I have been. Better than the US. Better than the UK. Better than Brazil. The whites get a lot of credit for giving up power relatively peacefully. The blacks get a lot of credit for being patient and not trashing the country for a quick gain. The races don’t mix a lot socially, but it is much more a wealth thing than a race thing. Wealthy blacks, whites, and Indians mix freely at dinners, restaurants shops, etc. In shopping centers and malls, everyone mixes freely. Even in the white Africanner Wine Region (the area where apartheid was most powerful) blacks work in the wine tasting areas along with whites. It was a very pleasant surprise.

SLUMS
We have all seen the slums on TV. Most of the slums are still there, but the government is trying to improve them. They have seen the result of Zimbabwe, and so they can’t spend more money than they have, but they are working in good incremental steps. For example, most township slums now have electricity delivered (many reinforced shacks have TV Satellite dishes). If there isn’t indoor plumbing yet, then there are public facilities spread all around the settlements. As they can, they pave the road in the townships, and rebuild the shacks along that road with small houses with bathrooms and real walls.

In short, South Africa is improving and, more AMAZINGLY, the people are patient about it. There is no storming off to seize the white’s houses or farms, like Zimbabwe. The government appears to know that the country has to continue to pull together in order to make improvements for everyone.

That said, they also do improvements in the cities (Johannesburg and Cape Town). I think they lived through white flight before and are trying to make sure everyone fells welcome.

It was eye popping and wonderful. I feared the worst.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving; Updated

Well, here we are in Mauritius. It is an amazing hotel and it is a beautiful trip so far. I'll probably post a little more since the hotel has wireless - and we have a little time every now and then.

The safari was GREAT. I can't wait to show pictures. It was really fun and we saw tons of animals. Ed has organized the pictures, so I am going to wait until he gives me a couple to post.

(Pic from Ed)


Anyway, we miss you all and the pup - but it is great. Tomorrow we go on a catamaran to an unihabited island for snorkeling, sunning and lunch.

xoxox

Saturday, November 17, 2007

And so we say goodbye to cape town

Capetown was a kick. We had an amazing house that we shared with Jane. And what did we do the first day...

Saw the penquins.

It was the perfect start to the day and we will post our pictures as soon as possible (ie. not from an airport sign-in).

The city has GREAT food, really nice people and we stayed in a totally hip part of town. Eddie loved it, Jane loved it and I loved it. And it was a lot of fun to spent the week with Jane. (Lynnie - we did miss traveling with you... you would have loved it).

More soon.

Friday, November 09, 2007

And we're off..

Well all, we are off to Capetown tonight. Flying to London this PM and them London to CapeTown tomorrow. In First Class (Fancy - Schmancy; it was airmiles - we aren't that rich). Okay maybe I'll update if we have access - otherwise see you in 2 weeks.

Suggested by Lynnie

Well, my Lynnie asked the question, so I don't feel quite so shallow. Kenny Chesney won entertainer of the year at the Sountry Music Awards. He was a little dull on the show - but it is a slow song (Don't Blink) so that was expected. What wasn't expected is how he looked.

He looked... He looked... Well, like a bad Doker's Ad. A cover my fat shirt and pleated in the front dress pants. Pleated in the front! He looked awful. Even the New York Times, not a big follower of Country Music, commented on it. They said he usually wore pantey-hose painted as jeans with pockets, and last night we wore his dad's bad dress pants. You can't see just how bad they are in this picture, but trust me.


That is not how my Kenny should look! Below are 2, much more appropriate, pics of Kenny. Mr. Chenesy, you are Kenny, baby; not Kenny G.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

So, as per usual...

So, at Young Frankenstein ("The Mel Brooks Musical..") what do we see? Megan Mullaly, Sutton Foster and Roger Bart?

Well, yes, but that is not the inappropriate part.

No, I hear the words I hear to often (and at all the wrong times)... "Where in Wisconsin are you from?!?" And up goes the hand (your hand-y map of Wisconsin) as
Ed points out Steven's Creek. I hear only 1/2, but I do hear Ed say, "Sure! I know where Wakasha is..."

And so another perfectly high-brow evening becomes yet another chance for Ed and a stranger to comisserate that there are no good Bratwurst or Fish Frys here.

I am sure in two weeks I will tell you who met in CapeTown from Wisconsin.

I Must Say... I am a model of self-restraint

I am a model of self-restraint today. Pat Robertson, who blamed 9/11 on secularists, feminists and homosexuals, yesterday endorsed Rudy Guiliani for President. The titular head of the Christian Coalition has endrosed a thrice married, abortion rights supporting, self-admitted adulterer on both his first and second wives as President.

And neither the Christian Coalition, nor Rudy's campaign find anything wrong with that. In fact, it would appear rather fortuitous that 9/11 occurred on Rudy's watch so that he could be "America's Mayor" and stand up to the terrorists (which were brought on by the feminists, secularists and homosexuals (two male homosexuals, of which, that Rudy lived with after his second wife was dumped via news conference at which Rudy admitted to adultery)).

So, if I understand this... It appears that God, angered by secularists, feminists and homosexuals, smote the World Trade Center and killed 3,000 innocent people so that Rudy Guliani - mayor at the time - would be promoted on the world stage and be able to become President.

And neither Pat Robertson nor Rudy Guliani have an issue with this.

And I am not commenting on it. See how self-restrained I can be?

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Passive Agreessive Amusement...

Just for fun, if you are bored one day, go to Passive Agressive . Com - here is a sample (ignore curse words) no small childern read this - John and Sue won't let them. Here is an example....

I Must Say....

So I must say, one of the things that worries, scares, bothers (pick an uncomfortable verb) me most about the possibility of Hillary being a Presidential nominee – or even President, is a continuation of politics that divide our country. I think as she runs, she will illicit polarizing attacks. And she will respond. Win or Lose (and I think she would win) the country will break even further into camps that shout and don’t listen to each other.

I don’t like the idea of my country ripping apartmore than it is.

I don’t know how it started - I am sure we could point to Bill Clinton or Bush 43 and have excellent points – or we could point to Regan and Carter and have excellent points. I don’t really care. I think it will get progressively worse unless we choose to stop it.

I wish, hope, dream that the current President could bend a little. He might be able to slow it down. The man is undeniably likeable and if he came on TV and wasn’t a smirking, smarmy, mean partisan – we would all listen again. I WANT him to reach out a little, really. I want to trust my President and my country. I wish his rhetoric wasn’t so mean, angry, defiant, stubborn. I wish the Hudson River was made of Onion Dip.

I think Hillary, without baggage, could bring the country together a little. But there is no Hillary without baggage. Hillary brings a history of partisanship that cannot be denied. She has been a great and fair Senator, and she is as middle of the road as you can be. She is Diane Feinstein and Chuck Hagel. If her last name wasn’t Clinton – she would be positively dull. It’s not fair, but it is true. Hillary, no matter what her actions, will always raise anger and will never be trusted by a huge percentage of the country.

Maybe Obama could bring people together. But I don’t think he has a snowball’s chance in hell of getting elected. Let’s be honest; the Ad’s against him would make the race baiting ads that ran against Harold Ford in Tennessee look like love letters. The swift boat veterans smeared John Kerry – who served in Vietnam and got a purple heart – as an anti-patriot. The only person with enough guts to stand up to the vitriol is Hillary.

It makes me sad. And every step my President makes that tears us, as Americans, apart makes me sadder.

It is different here than it is in most countries. We are Americans because we choose to be. You can move to France, but you can't “become” French. You are born German or Dutch or Mexican. You choose to be American (and Canadian and Australian). What happens to a country like that when two sides constantly choose against each other?

No Big Deal...

From the Boston Globe:
The Bush administration managed to get around the statutory requirement that no more than four members of the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights be members of any one political party when two sitting Republican members changed their party affiliations to "independent" just before the president appointed two more Republicans to the panel in 2004.


And yes, it is a first any Administration. He is, by the way, in charge of upholding the laws of the country. He is also making a mockery of upholding the laws of the country - which apparently offends no Republican (and yes, plenty of Democrats actually did complain loud and long about Bill). But I guess it is just another precendent that Hillary can follow with glee.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Well, I liked it a lot.



I liked it a lot. Eddie thought it was a little too long and a little too slavish to the movie. I think it suffers from super high expectations.

However, can I say that Megan Mullaly, Roger Bart, Andrea Martin and whoever played Igor were a-mazing!! Sutter Foster (who played Inga) was very good, but she didn't have a very big part. Anyways, I loved it.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Dora's First Halloween

This is what happens when neice Dora has Halloween, but doesn't know that candy is involved yet. Before the Trick or Treating starts, it is just another day mom and dad put you in a goofy outfit.

Leaf Viewing

This week-end Eddie and I hung out with a bunch of friends on Friday night (including Randy, Paul, Chuck, Dan and Schaligi) and had a great time! It was a lot of stupid fun.

The on Saturday morning we poured five of us (Randy, Paul, Ed, Scott and Trevor) and went upstate to New Paltz - not all the great. Then we went to the Vanderbuilt Mansion and FDR's home. It was fun.

And they are, in fact, leaves.

Friday, November 02, 2007

And Thus, Frankenstein is wrapped up....

You may not know it, but both Young Frankenstein (the funny one) and Frankenstein (the real one) have musicals opening this month.

The review of Frankenstien was in the NY Times Today. It strives to remain close to the original in content and form - even as being told by Dr. Frankenstein to the Artic Sea captain who rescues him. The last few lines kind of tell you all you need to know....

The musical's other major character is, of course, the Creature. For all their talk of fidelity to the original text, the show's authors have departed radically from it in this piece of casting. In the novel the Creature's looks inspire instant horror. Here he is defiantly unseamed and devoid of the chunky neck jewelery that Boris Karloff wore in the famous movie. With hairless pecs and a buss cut, the Creature would probably be a man-magnet on Saturday night in Chelsea.

Of course, hunks can suffer too,and while his singing is uneven Mr. Blanchard makes a strenuous attempt to embody the tormented soul of his character, drawn to the humanity but repulsive to it. Roaming the stage in something between a swagger and a stagger, he twists himself into contorted poses meant to convey both physical and spiritual anguish. But I'm afraid it looked more to me like the Creature was fighting through a fearsome case of constipation.


Thursday, November 01, 2007

Mascots of the Month: Big Bang Boys (Updated)

The Big Bang? Actually the name of the show is The Big Bang Theory, and you haven't seen it you are missing something funny. Of course, I know that saying that is the kiss of death, but I like the show. The two leads, show below in their Halloween costumes as Frodo and The Doppler Effect, are hee-lair-i-ass.


They are played by Johnny Galecki (from Rosanna) and Jim Parsons (from I don't know what). They play hyper-intelligent guys, who cannot function in society. Super nerds, if you will. But they don't just fall into the sterotypes - they relish in them.


As you would expect, trouble comes in the form of a pretty young lady. In this case who moves in next door. They also have 2 other nerds "drop by friends", again brilliant minds. In this case a little more sterotypical. In the costumes below, Robin Hood / Peter Pan thinks he is a lathario (typical line yesterday: "I think I have some pixie dust with your name on it.") - and an Indian dressed as Thor who cannot utter a sound in front of women.


Anyway, it is really funny and I like it.


Update: FYI I was asked who the young ladywas. She is Kaley Cuoco (what kind of weird ass name is that anyway?) She has been in a lot of US television.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Hypocritical Politicians: The Gift that Keeps on Giving

Headline from Spokane:

Cross-dressing state lawmaker blackmailed following late night tryst

1st paragraph:
SPOKANE -- State Representative Richard Curtis says he's not gay, but police reports and court records indicate the Republican lawmaker from southwestern Washington dressed up in women's lingerie and met a Medical Lake man in a local erotic video store which led to consensual sex at a downtown hotel and a threat to expose Curtis' activities publicly.

And yes, of course he is an anti-gay Republican. Aren't all cross dressing dirty book-store sex-a-holics in politics?

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

As someone who has a house in the desert..

..can I just say firefighters are amazing!

The Inland Empire (Riverside / San Bernardino)


Why they deserve all our thanks. Cuz one day it will be our house.

Dryers Go Clockwise

Ed doesn’t mind that I fold clothes (or do anything else) with the TV on. Because otherwise my mind wanders. For example, today…

I had to fold clothes downstairs (one of the washers didn’t spin well, so it was all staggered), and I was confused by the dryers. Why do they all spin clockwise?

You see - the line of dryers, that used to be straight, is now askew. Not at a 45 degree angle yet, but heading there. As the dryers “walk” they tend to turn. And I thought, if they spun sometimes clockwise and sometimes counter-clockwise that wouldn’t happen. AND if there is a outside manifestation, then the guts of the dryer are also subject to some weird dynamic because of the one way motion. SO.. if the dyers spun clockwise one cycle and counter-clockwise the other cycle, wouldn’t the dryer last longer? But it is probably a little cheaper to buy one-way motors.

PLUS the Dryer Overlords don’t want Dryers to last longer. Oh no, Maytag has no use for a long life’d Dryer. They would rather DESIGN in obsolesce so we have to buy new ones.

So now I am on a toot about the evil corporate capitalists that pull OUR STRINGS even when all we want to do is dry our clothes in peace.

And that is why Ed doesn’t mind that I do things with the TV on.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Whoops!

Once again I must apologize to my mother. Not for anything I did, but for what I thought when I was younger.

When my mom first moved away from Los Angeles, she once was freezing for days on end. One day she saw the winds kick up from a different direction and was excited. In LA that means warm Santa Ana’s. In East No Where Utah (where we were at the time) this is so NOT the case. And I remember thinking Mom was a little off her rocker about the weather.

Well, last Saturday it was rainy and blah and really humid. We went to a show and at 9:00 PM it was kind of hot and sticky. I walked the dog in shorts and a sleeveless shirt. Sunday morning I got up to walk the dog, and it was bright and beautiful. Which, in LA, means warm!! So I threw on shorts and a t-shirt and took Trevor out for his morning “business”. Bright and sunny and clear does not mean warm in New York. It was 45 degrees! I dun froze myself and I couldn’t go in as the little dog had still had to make a number 2.

As I walked, goose pimple-y, freezing and looking extremely stupid as the people in long pants and coats walked by I thought of the long ago time with my mother. And I silently apologized. It did not help that when Ed finally roused himself from slumber he said, “Wow! It is so clear. It must be freezing outside.”

FEMA Fake News Conference.. Fall out! (Updated)

Remember the Fake FEMA news conference in California about the wildfires. The questions were all from FEMA employees ("How great are you guys being on top of this?").

Well, the fall out is that FEMA Director of External Affairs John P. "Pat" Philbin is no longer in his job.

Fired for mis-management by our "CEO" President you ask? Heavens no. Promoted to head of public affairs at the Office of the Director of National Intelligence.

Public Affairs at National Intelligence!

I shit you not.

Update: Just in case you missed it, he has lost his new post. Apparently someone in the administration was a little embarassed.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Week-end's Entertainment

So it was a fun week-end.

Friday we saw the movie Micheal Clayton. Although there is that whole "expectations" thing, let me say I loved it and Ed really liked it. It is throw back mystery thriller. Kind of film noir, but not really (I don't know why). George Clooney was amazing. Even Ed liked him, and Ed hates him. He was almost the anti-George Clooney from Ocean's 11 - 13.

He played a guy whose middle age hits him unexpectedly and un-sterotypically. His character suddenly realizes what all those choices meant. And Tom Wilkinson is great. Tilda Swinton is, as always, quietly a killer performance.

I really really liked it a lot.

Then, Saturday night we went and saw this "show" Fuerzabruta. It is an interactive theater piece that was a lot of fun. I really liked it. It is kind of hard to describe. It is by the same people that did La Gaurda if you know that. Kind of a 65 minute show that takes place in vinettes, amoung the audience. You walk around, dance, move, are surprised. All kinds of things.

Including a massive plastic roof that drops down to arm level above your head where 4 "mermaids" perform in a water pool with faux rain. Really, it's an interactive experience. Randy and I liked it a lot. Ed was ... amused and annoyed in about equal measure.

So there you go. Quite the week-end.

Friday, October 26, 2007

No, I am not proud of myself

I want to appauld Liberia for electing the first Female African Head of State. Her name is Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf and she is trying really hard to bring peace to a horrible place. I am proud of her and the voters in Liberia.

I am not proud of myself.

However, doesn't she look a lot like Danny DeVito in drag.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

If you make enought money...

So, tonight on "30 Rock", Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) says, "I hear, no one wants to employee you once other people don't want to see you nakid anymore."


To which, Jack says (in perfect wisdom), "Lemon, when you make enough money: you can pay people so they want to see you nakid."