Tuesday, August 31, 2004
So Ed tried to make me feel better. He decided to make dinner for me. He asked nicely what I wanted, and I replied (perhaps not as nicely) “Didn’t you hear me? I am not eating. Ever!”
So Ed made Chicken and Au Gratin potatoes, from a box. This is, at best, a marginal meal. In the best of times, it is kind of emergency food. And we hadn’t had an emergency in a while. A while being at least since July of 2002. I know this because this was the expiration date of the box of Au Gratin potatoes and chicken.
It was not good.
Funny enough, after a few bites of the meal, I was done. A couple of hours later I departed to bed. Where, starting at 2 AM, my mind was annoyed. When I cannot sleep, my mind insists on showing me a movie – hoping it will convince my body to give up and snooze.
My mind has, long ago, given up on the regulars (Mildred Pierce, Witness for the Prosecution) and decided to create it’s own movies. About half way through the show, I fall asleep, but now my mind is in full swing an refuses to turn off the projector. So, last night, my mind – operating in conjunction with the expired spuds wove a complex tale together.
I shan’t go into the prelim’s (a threatin’ nuc-cal-ar war by a cowboy Prezdn’t). Let’s just say it moved swiftly in the beginning. What with my being unable to get a tarp to tie down over the back of my truck - then having to follow Jeff Bridges out of town. Jeff, by the by, a bad driver who insisted on getting his trailer stuck in the dirt. After waiting for him a long time, we (me, two dogs and three daughters (don’t ask me)) continued without Jeff.
We turned left at the Mission Viejo Mall, and after an hour or so were in a post-apocalypse western town. In this town there were a lot of young sheriffs- and they were killed almost daily, so they kept having to recruit new ones. They did it through a dance off (my brain can be sadistic). The whole town would brave the radiation to watch the sheriff tryouts.
Funny thing was that Jennifer Beals (from Flashdance) was the head Sheriff, the dance team coach and the judge. I woke up having to pee, thinking. Poor Jennifer. Can’t she get a better movie than this?
After pee’ing, Ed went to the bathroom and returned and explained that Jennifer Beals really did need a double for the singing and dancing parts. And Ed said to me “Honey, we don’t have to go to the Ten Commandments The Musical”, and went back to sleep.
Friday, August 27, 2004
But I digress.
The week end races towards me at break-neck speed. Why concern myself with the state of public interaction? I need all the help I can get just to get through my private interactions.
We are having a bathroom painting issue. I welcome your proposals. For those of you have been to the house, you will note that the upstairs bathroom (with the dog shower) is white. White tile goes halfway up the walls. There is a white pedestal sink and a white toilet - new by the by – it no longer sticks, whines and it’s got an “extra long bowl”. Not that I am bragging – I’m just saying. Those extra inches come in handy, wink wink, nudge nudge.
But again, I digress.
What color to paint the walls? Ed and I had decided on light blue on 3 walls, and rich blue on the 4th. We got the paint and put a little on the wall. We hate it.
Now we are thinking rich dark yellow on 3 walls, and rust on the 4th? Any thoughts?
Thursday, August 26, 2004
Updated from Eddie Spagetti..
What they dont' tell you is that right down the street from King of Beers is this, the King of Six Packs! I love Wisconsin.
I am listening to the news on the way to work. Then there is the "Osgood File", where Charlie Osgood gives some sappy or funny or cute story. In the middle of it, Tom Bodett usually trots his ah-shucks, down home, "we'll leave the light on for you" schtick about Motel 6.
But for the last two days, Tom Bodett has ah-shucks'ed his way through the actual report. He stories, never cute or sappy or funny, sound like a hillbilly record palyed back on s l o w s p e e d. Never slow enough to make you not understand, but slow enough to annoy.
And who is doing commercials? Charlie Osgood.
Has the world gone mad? Has Dr. Evil taken over the record station. If so, does anyone have ONE MILLLEEEON DOLLARS.
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Ed and I had a discussion of why he said this and why now. Here are our best options.
1) For goodness sake, he has a daughter and knows her. Maybe he really believes this (he said the same thing in 2000). SM: I hope this is true - Ed says I am crazy.
2) There is going to be a platform fight about this. Perhaps this allows an official alternate position so they don't look like complete herd of intolerant assholes.
3) This is a great reason for him to step down as VP and allow Bush to nominate Condi. He can step down for personal disagreements on a key policy decision. Bush gets to appeal to the religious conservatives (he kicks off Cheney) AND appeals to minorities (Condi = good).
4) Right after this, the Log Cabin Republicans (not to be confused with "Jews for Hezbollah") said this would allow them to vote for the ticket again. I stated that the votes hardly count as they are concentrated in the Blue states and won't swing voters. This is Ed's pet idea. But today I thought they might swing a lot of money- so Ed has a point.
Upshot, I don't know. But it can't hurt.
PS - We saw Kerry on the "Daily Show" last night. Dullard. Such a politician Ed and I actually discussed the fact that he would be hard to vote for. Thank goodness we are in CA where our vote for President doesn't matter.
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Not only the best.
Not only the hottest.
Also the nicest.
Alexei Nemov gave the high bar routine to kick ass last night. But the new rules reward hand changes, and one arm swings and dullness. Alexei had six release moves, including 4 in a row. FYI - Paul Hamm had the same 4 in a row at the world championships last year and the judges told him the 4th didn't help him at all - so he took it out. Alexei put 2 more in. They didn't change his start score, they just look GREAT.
Then the judges picked up their white canes and gave Alexei the WORST SCORE OF THE NIGHT. Really. The worst in high bar of the night. The fans booed for 8 minutes. They boo'ed until Alexei finally got up to calm them.
He is dreamy.
Okay - one more Alexi pic just for Scooter.
Monday, August 23, 2004
Sunday, August 22, 2004
Friday, August 20, 2004
Then the evil wizard, King Alarm Clock, entered the picture. You see boys and girls, one of the boys and both dogs, loved to sleep in. The loud boy would get up, shower and make all sorts of noise in the closet, while the good boy and pups would snuggle under the covers - ignoring the noise. Refusing even to acknowledge it. Sooner or later the first handsome lad would leave and everyone could get back to their snoozing.
But then, one day (Thursday morning), the Evil Wizard, Dark Lord King Alarm woke the entire house up before 7:30. Both boys got up, and one dog awoke, while one dog valiantly tried to stay in bed. But it was not to be. The good puppy was forced from his bed by the two boys (obviously under the wizard's spell). He was forced outside, and then commanded to pee in front of everyone (would that the photographers from Rueters were here to document this torture!).
After pee'ing, the good white puppy tired to go back to bed. But no. He was AGAIN forced upstairs. This time pushed out on the rocks and forced to do a doitee. He tried to get in the house, but the boys yelled for him to hurry up. Clearly the wizard was powerful. Finally, the brave white pup did push one out. But the whole time he was poop'ing he stared at the now-evil boys. His eyes said what he couldn't "Eye crap on yu" (his eyes speak in a bad French accent).
Finally, exhausted from have to walk on rocks and perform on command (degraded like some circus freak), he began back down the stairs. And again, "No!".
"No?" he thought. "No, what?" What more could these two want from him. It wasn't even 7:45 yet for goodness sake. He still had an hour of sleep in bed.
Well, he wasn't going to take this standing up. He went to the couch and went to sleep there.
The boys, now hurrying out of the house walked over. "Good dog," they said.
Phfft. Good dog this. One of the boys bent down to give the dog a pat. The dog ignored him. How else will they learn.
Thursday, August 19, 2004
It could be a actual "clerical error" that got Ted Kennedy on the no fly list. Or not. (ps - if it takes Ted 3 weeks to get off the list, then how long would it take us to get off that list!)
It looked even worse after the Romanian hit the same vault right after him.
But Paul popped up on both the parallel bars and high bar and did quick sets that were impossibly difficult. He didn't throw in extra rotations, in went from trick to trick (which ups the score). He was brilliant.
And surpised he won! (picture from REUTERS/Jeff J Mitchell) Totally fun.
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
Is it a calculated political step, pushed right now to say he is bringing home the troops. Of course, but that doesn't make it a bad idea. We don't need over 100,000 troops in Germany and South Korea anymore. We don't need them and they don't want them.
Bringing them home is a fine idea.
John Kerry doesn't think so. Why? Vague "war on terrorism" reasoning (because having 25,000 troops at Frankfurt international is somehow going to stop Madrid bombings?).
John Kerry please heed a little advice - DON'T BE AN IDIOT. This has been a Democratic idea for a while. Congratulate Bush for finally coming around to it. Tell him that reasonable people can change their mind - and it isn't a flip-flop.
But no. You are determined to lose this.
Given what could have happened, I think they came out of it well.
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
1) Men's Gymnastics rock. (SM: well, maybe that is just me, but they rock)
2) Tim Daggett is a great commentator (SM: and a Bruin)
3) The pommel horse can be interesting when you know what is going on.
4) If you are hot Romanian, and are butch enough to keep the name Marian. AND butch enough to highlight your hair. Then, for goodness sake, be butch enough to tweeze the eyebrows.
5) Paul Hamm has great mus-culs and a horrible little squeaky voice. He's like a white Mike Tyson. No wonder you never hear him talk.
6) Two words are painful when they go together; Men's Spilts. Ouch.
7) Question: The keep falling out of the those little white lines when tumbling. Why don't you take one less step when starting?
8) Every US guy did the same vault. One Romanian guy did the same vault. All four of them took big steps afterwards. Hint - choose another.
9) Marian (again) did a vault where he did three somersaults in the air and a half twist. I hate vault and I was transfixed.
Monday, August 16, 2004
Second, Ed's nephew just came back from camp. You know, in retrospect, camp was always fun. But while you're there, maybe not so much. He looks happy to be home.
The report on camp from Sean:
- It rained almost everyday. The food was okay. (SM: I am from LA, were summer means no rain - I don't have any idea how people live in that weather)
- Could have done without the two hours of Chapel everyday.
- Cried for the first two days because I was home sick and had a sore throat. Ten people in a cabin smaller than his bedroom. Eight great guys, two annoying ones. Mooning was a favorite activity of one of the "annoying" guys. (SM: My annoying camp mates farted all night long and told horrible dirty jokes - including the one with the punch line "First lady, these are martinis NOT martoonis, second; it's alas Seltzer NOT alas Water, and you don't have heartburn, your tits are in the ashtray.")
- Hardly changed clothes because he didn't like changing with all those people around. The activities were fun. Had four snores. Read for six hours on the bus home.
- Camp Counselor Paul was cool. Helped him through the rough times. (seance quote from his journal - "Paul said Jesus would help me through this but Paul was one who really did it.")
- Best day was the trip home. If given the chance to sign up again...I would pass
Eddie and I worked in the backyard in the morning, took a jaquzzi, then settled in to watch the Olympics. It was great and fun. First Alexi Nemov -still hot after all these years. And tanned to boot. Second, there was a Woman's Volleyball game (US China) that was on live and we watched it (commercials and all) because it was great. The teams did well. It was nice, but after a day of watching, we messed up and didn't get to Mickey's show on Saturday. We will go in two weeks.
Sunday was more of the same, only we did some shopping and then worked on the house a little. It was okay, but I don't like women's gymnastics - and thank goodness for TIVO, because there was a lot of dull stuff early in the program (women's road bike racing anyone?).
That's all. We think the Hunt's and Flook's in Fort Meyers survived the hurricane. But then they have vacation homes - not vacation trailers.
Friday, August 13, 2004
And I thought, my goodness Mike, what have you and your biceps done to that mean evil queenie we all know and love. Where has he gone too? Have the kids really taken off all the edges we know and tolerate (love would be a little strong in this context).
Then, paging through the scrapbook, the answer roars back at me. No. My queenie is still there under all that product (really, it wouldn't kill you to cut back to 2 cans of gel a day!). Here is...
In fact you can see the Hamruph in my face.
Thursday, August 12, 2004
Today, Max in particular bothers me as he is trashing the Olympics. Hello, you write for an LA paper and you trash the Olympics. Why don’t you shove a torch up your… I digress.
Max says today
There might be equally high drama today if
our current enemies chose to compete in sporting events
Ironically, the very fact that most countries are engaged in peaceful
competition — the Olympic ideal — renders this Olympics uninteresting.
“Hummm?” Scott says. Max misses the Cold War with Russia and Nazi Germany (really read the article). Max doesn’t offer up if he misses them all the time (presumably when Democrats knew to shut up) or just every four years.
Max, lord love him, goes on…
Sports like football, baseball and basketball have intrinsic appeal to millions
of people because their fans follow them all the time and know the players. We
see most Olympic events only once every four years. It's like meeting some
long-lost cousin. Are you going to gush over her? It's true that all the Olympic
sports are contested year in, year out, but few receive any coverage, at least
in this country. Yet every four years we're supposed to get worked up over who
does and who does not snare a gold medal.
Now, I really do get this. Honest. But – if I can point something out to the LOS ANGELES COMMENTATOR, LA doesn’t give a shit about these things. Sure. We used to like football. Max Boot meet Georgia Frontiere. She took our Rams for a ramble. Max Boot meet Al Davies. He brought the Raiders in, took the Raiders out, put his left foot back in and shook it all about. We didn’t care.
Max Boot meet LA baseball. We all cared when it was owned by Pete O’Malley and Gene Autry. Gentlemen both. Then Fox and Disney bought the Dodgers and Angels (respectively). But they couldn’t squeeze enough cash out of them so they dumped them. The Dodgers will be good enough to get in our graces, or bad enough so we don’t care. It doesn’t matter which to the owner - as long as he can put condos in Chavez Ravine and move the Dodgers to some new stadium he wants us to build. Only the new Angel owner is liked (and that has something to do with the fact that he lowered beer prices on the first day on the job).
Max Boot meet LA Basketball. Over here we have Shaq. Oh no, too late. Well, over here we have Gary Pa… too late. Over here we have last year’s national championship podium. Of course the trophy itself is in Detroit because our overpriced whiners couldn’t be bothered to play. We’ll introduce you to Kobe after a little trail is over in Colorado.
On the other hand, UCLA (which by the by, is actually in this city) is sending 52 athletes to the games this year. In such loser sports as Baseball, Volleyball, Track and Field, Gymnastics, Tennis and Water Polo . USC (also, amazingly, in this very city) will send 35 athletes to the games this year. In such loser sports as Basketball, Swimming, Diving, Track and Field and Volleyball.
To close, let me say this, shut up Max.
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
So last night I dreampt about the fantastic four - kinda. First I am dreaming to myself, "When Rubber Man (which by the why is a dorky "superpower") is a fat old couch potato, does he just sit in the front room and send his arm out for a beer in the kitchen." During football season maybe this isn't such a bad superpower.
And, again in my dream, I imagine the girl yelling at him to get up off his rubber ass and walk into the kitchen to get a beer you lazy piece of shit - you're scaring the dog again. But really, who is she to yell. As near as I can remember her superpower was being blond.
Cute fire boy and bearish rock man have both clearly left SuperCity by this time to retire in PTown. And now Mr and Miz Cranky are the Terrible Two - and not happy about it. Rubberman is shootin rubber bullets if you catch my drift.
In my dream state I decide to check out of Super Power Marriage Counseling.
2) "What I have learned from the Swift Boat Veterans for 'Truth' ". All veterans lie to get medals. Most medals aren't earned, they are given away. Democratic veterans lie a lot. Republican veterans will honor the lies, until the Democrats have any shot of gaining political power.
The Vietnam War didn't have atrocities, John Kerry was a liar about that. And, John Kerry got his Silver Start for shooting an un-armed lion-clothed man-child in the back.
Thanks for the "truth". I am sure that generations of veterans now and in the future will thank you for your service. Now we Americans have trust in the military again.
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
...(don't get me started - I got in trouble for forgetting to go to Zela's for dinner last night. I mean, I forgot. That's all. It was a busy day. She calls and says - after I explained I forgot, "Well, that's okay. You can't be expected to remember me all the time." Guilt - table for 1. Then I say I will go this afternoon, "You're sure you won't forget?".)
Where was I? Oh yes, Sav-on. So the girl behind the counter says to me, "You look like John Wayne."
This takes me a minute to decode, because she has a strong accent. And I think, I really do, "Chun Wang... that's a horrible Cowboy name" (SM>> reference: Shanghai - Noon), and perhaps she means Owen Wilson. He's got a bad schnoze, but otherwise fairly cute.
But no, she reiterates. "John Wayne - the cowboy." I look at her with a face of obvious confusion (I didn't punch her). And she added, "You know, a young John Wayne." I don't even want to go back for Zela's pictures this afternoon (but god forbid I "forget" them).
Chun Wang? - Are you kidding me?
Monday, August 09, 2004
And, when the Olympics are over, college football!
Friday, August 06, 2004
Thursday, August 05, 2004
Well, my friends put their wedding announcement in the local Rochester paper and things are happening. One of Christopher's colleagues told him that while he was brushing his teeth this a.m., the local radio station celeb mentioned Christopher's name, obviously talking about the wedding, but none of us heard it so Christopher left a message with the radio station.
But then his mother called him to say a tv station had called her (her name was in the announcement) and the local news station was trying to reach him for an interview. She gave them the info, and they've both been interviewed for the 5:00 news! I'll be taping it since Christopher only has tivo which can't be shared.
My role was to send the photos to be used as backdrop for the tv bit. They told Christopher that they will counterbalance the story with an anti-same-sex-marriage religious fanatic (my words), so it's begun! What I find interesting is that they are not the first gay couple in Rochester to go to Toronto to get married - there was a ferry-load (no pun intended, but pretty funny anyway) of gays the day before Chris and Jim got married, arranged by the local gay chapter. So it must be the newspaper announcement, which seems to be indicating that Christopher is willing to stand up and be noticed and talk about it. I'm very proud of him! Wanted to share. Love to both of you! Joc
Here is the announcement.
The Cute Brazilian is still in the mascot history.
Okay, I give a lot of credit to Bush for some things, but he just is mean.
The latest is to trash Kerry's war record. For goodness sake, the guy WENT to Vietnam because he thought it was right. Bush skipped the hell out. In what kind of perverted system does that allow Bush to attack Kerry's record.
And what is attacking the fags! I have never been sold out so obviously and completely by a government before.
- They don't want us to marry. Okay.
But then the Republicans have put it on the ballot in swing states to drive conservatives voters to the polls. I believe that is using hate against me to help Bush get elected.
- If we get married in a state where it is legal, no one has to recognize it. Okay.
- If the police burst in, with no reason at all, and catch two men having any form of consensual sex, they should go to jail (the administration's stated position on Lawrence vs. Texas).
- Government money (my tax dollars) should go to faith based programs that provide services for the public. Okay. FYI - These organizations do not have to help / talk to /hire / support / provide services for those people who violate one of the major tenants of the religion. So I pay organizations that get to tell my loved ones I am going straight to hell - do not pass go, do not collect $200.
Gez, just put a ballot measure on that says we hate fags and get over it.
Meanwhile, our borders are wide open. We call terror threats for news that is 3 years old. We have the greatest deficit in history. He is the first present to have a net job lose since the depression - but let's not talk about that. Let's talk about the fact that someone who fought in Vietnam is a liar and wimp and the fags are threatening the institution of marriage.
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
Laura (that nice young lady from the UK) was stuck in a 4 hour journey home from London to Shepperton by way of flooded tube, closed rail, sardine packed cab and knight-in-shining-armor boyfriend (well late-but-better-than-never-knight). She survived and lived to tell the tale.
And Shawnie is taunting Gavi - which is funny in it's own right.
I spent last night from 2AM - 3:15 awake, not feeling good. Finally at 3:15 I went upstairs and watched and old Humphrey Bogart movie until I got drowsy. Seriously, what did people do in the old days when they couldn't sleep? I mean, before VCRs and old movies how could you make yourself tired? Reading - that just keeps me awake. (And before you say they worked harder, let me say I mean in the old days like the 60s and 70s - not the old days like the 1800s).
I mean my dad just took Secondal, and gave me wine - but I can't imagine that was the general response.
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
The spa is fabulous. I am one happy boy. There are buttons to turn, knobs to work, air to add or decrease. And, when you are done with that, a lounger to lounge in.
New mascot today. Sam is a happy boy for completely different reasons.
Monday, August 02, 2004
It was a great time. Most of Carson and Ursula's families were there. I meet Ursula's mom and grandmother. It was fun. Hectic, but fun.
Friday night we hung out at Ed's brother's house with John, Sue, Phil and Julie (along with the kids) - just had some beers and relaxed. Sean is growing (a little) and his voice is changing (a lot). I remember growing, but I don't remember the voice changing. It was odd when he called out to the back yard in this DEEP VOICE, "DAD, mom wants you."
Saturday we went to get a present for Urs at the Mall of America. By Mall of America, they mean they have taken all that is annoying and evil in the world of malls - and squished it into a 3 story square with 4 anchors. I am usually quit willing to put up with the crush of children and the roller coaster, and the mean ladies that smack you with their shopping bags to get no sales tax on clothes. A fair trade off. But on Saturday Ashley Simpson was there. So, in addition to the normal noise, there was a steady - constant stream of adolescent girls SCREAMING "ASHLEY! ASHLEY!" It was like Scarlet in Gone With the Wind (except there were 12 million little Scarlets).
Saturday night was the party. Which was fun. Doctor Ursula looked radiant in her Orange Dress, and Carson looked... hip... in his thin silk purple and green mosaic shirt with his clipped chest hair. And yes, I really do think he is straight - go figure. One final thing. Great highlights!
Sunday was brunch before we left for the airport. All in all a nice trip. Of course I had to hurry them all outside after brunch as Ed was having a hideous bout of gas and was afraid of stinking up the joint! I bet Hertz enjoyed that rental return!