Tuesday, November 30, 2004
It has been really cold in the mornings here. Today it was like 41 degrees in Hancock Park. Since we don't have weather here (and after this week, who among us is complaining about that - hummm - Bueler - show of hands - I didn't think so). Anyway, since we don't' have weather here, the news station has to do a remote from the Starbucks in Hancock Park.
One must wonder if they really sent someone to the Larchmont Starbucks, or if they just dialed up Ginger on her way into the Studio. Or an elaborate ruse to get some good coffee. "Hey, send the Intern to Starbucks and get capachino's all around. Yea and ask some body what they think of the cold - we can write off the coffees!"
So anywho they ask this bundled up New Yorker. She says, with the total New York JAP accent, tempered by 20 years of ciggy-butts, "Me? I like the cold weather (cough cough). It's a nice change here. I miss the snow." Really twinkle-tights? You miss the snow? I got an idea - go back to New York. Lower the house prices just a little.
I am not saying that a fresh coating of the white death isn't pretty. It is beautiful, but 41 degrees isn't pretty. It's just cold. And we are not built for it.
They did however offer "Cabbaging" as a possible solution. I had not heard of the term cabbaging before. I have heard of salad tossing (but that is really different - trust me on that slang).
Apparently cabbaging refers to purloining. As in, that tailor is cabbaging a yards of cloth. I think that is pretty esoteric useage (althought that was the dictionary example). Maybe it is a ye olde word(e).
Monday, November 29, 2004
You know you're from California if..............
1. Your co-worker has 8 body piercing and none are visible.
2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.
5. You can't remember........is pot illegal?
6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian. (Scooter: this is really an SF thang)
8. You can't remember......is pot illegal?
9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears. (Scooter: again an SF thang. A more LA thing is to use the valet, everywhere.)
10. A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.
11. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
12. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps, and you don't even notice. (Scooter: we don't get on the bus in LA at all)
13. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbuck's wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney, really IS George Clooney.
14. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
15. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into S & M and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.
16. You can't remember.....is pot illegal?
17. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."
18. You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:00 pm Tae Bo class.
19. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.
20. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work and hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents. .
21. HEY!!!!!! Is pot illegal?????
22. Both you AND your dog have therapist....and lastly...
23. The Terminator is your Governor.
For the girl, Hazel. Not horrible really. She will be the second most famous Hazel ever (you know, after the Maid).
But the boy. Phinnaeus. Really, Phinnaeus? Pronounced fin-e-ous. Does it pass the two tests.
#1 - Phinnaeus, get in here and do your home work!
Not bad. It's okay here.
#2 - Oh Phinnaeus, that's it - do it there. Give it to me big Phinnaeus. Don't stop Phinnaeus.
Yeah, Phinnaeus fails that test. Badly. And his middle names, not much better. Phinnaeus Walter Moder. PW? no. PM? Really no. Walt?
Julie, you are a mean mean woman.
However, you still after the worst. Ann Heche is still the worst mother. Her son is named "Homer Heche Lamphoon".
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
If that is too much, then here is a small picture of the reason (red is less than 5 mph, yellow is less than 20 mph, green is at least 35 mph).
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
I have agreed (with myself if not with you) to contain my anger and rants at the present occupant of the tacky neo-colonial building at 1600 Penn to off-site. And I have upheld my part of that bargin.
This is not a slam, nor a rant at those pesky Republicans. No. This is a acknowledgement of job well done. This is a trick (strike that - say "treatment") of funding that makes even studio accountants say "damn - I wish I thought of that". From the Washington Post.
Republican budget writers say they may have found a way to cut the federal deficit even if they borrow hundreds of billions more to overhaul the Social Security system: Don't count all that new borrowing.
As they lay the groundwork for what will probably be a controversial fight over Social Security, Republican lawmakers and the Bush administration are examining a number of accounting strategies that would allow the expensive transition to a partially privatized Social Security system without -- at least on paper -- expanding the country's record annual budget deficits. The strategies include, for example, moving the costs of Social Security reform "off-budget" so they are not counted against the government's yearly shortfall.
Monday, November 22, 2004
Earlier in the date, Ohio State had done it's job and beat Michigan. All Wisconsin had to do, to go to the Rose Bowl, was beat Iowa (actually had they beat Michigan State last week-end it would have also been wrapped up).
Wisconsin, for some reason, forgot to show up. Their defense tackled like the Bruins (and not the butch UCLA Women's Rugby Team, but like the girlly Bruin Men's football team). And their lead ball carrier was hurt - or weak - or something else.
Ed was not pleased. Ed feels, and one cannot help but agree, that if you are too weak to play - don't suit up. Don't sit on the sideline and have the coaches and teammates beg you to play only to decline like a little bitty baby. Hell, Roy was mauled, and he got right back on the tiger.
Anthony Davies! phft!
I have to go with Eddie here. He doesn't look hurt.
(update: SM) Our expert (former AD Amiot) agrees.
Then we were at Beaumount and the signs still had frost on them at noon. Pretty and pretty wierd.
Then we got to Calimesa (2,400 ft) and there was snow everywhere. The shoulder of the road, the ground, the golf courses, everywhere. Kids were sledding in it (on cardboard - but I think the end result is the same).
Nice to be home from Vegas. More later.
Monday, November 15, 2004
This week-end was almost a lot of fun. We had a great dinner with Ed's old employees on Friday. We had a fun night with an old employee of Ed's from Disney at her house and then saw a really pretty cool play in the Valley (yes - we ventured to the Valley during the week-end).
Sunday we took a drive to San Pedro, ate at a cool little local hang-out, then drove around Palos Verdes Pennisula. You could see Catalina really clearly. Bradly came over for beer and cards in the evening.
Then why only almost good? Ed's team did not do well at football Satruday. It cast a stinky pall over the rest of the day.
Friday, November 12, 2004
She should use a little more Energy and a little less Secretary!
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Instead, we are looking to get a headstone for Grandma all visit when it is put up.
Why not the service.
Okay - I am not whining here. I am just stating the facts ma'am.
The people at my Grandma's church actually like me. I mean I was nice to Zela and everything. Zela and I had a much better bond than they do with their kids and grandkids. The Bible study even made grandma ask me questions about gay people when one of them is confronted with a family memer. Zela and I talked about choice vs. born that way. We talked about monogamy, the possible of love, etc.
But, at the same time, the church is evangelical. At my Dad's service (same church) I was sitting with my grandmother, next to Sheila. Sheila was openly my father's girlfriend. She and Dad dated, went to church things together and had very open displays of affection. Sheila, FYI - married. Now her husband was in the vetern's hospital and would not come out of a coma. I don't blame Shelia for hooking up with my dad. She needed the vegtable husband's money to put the kids through college, so she didn't divorce him.
Okay, picture us at my Dad's service. They don't want Ed to sit with me, but they don't say it. I sit with Zela, and they flood the bench.
Now Sheila says goodbye by singing a song (poorly) and everyone weaps.
Now the preacher gets up and says my dad asked him to talk directly to me. He says, "It doesn't matter how good a person you are. It does not matter how good you are to your grandmother. It does not matter how much you take care of your father. If you don't accetp Jesus as your saviour and renounce your life of sin you will burn in hell."
Sheila, next to me, is nodding, and turns to give me a little smile. Sheila! The married wife of a vegtable who spent the last year screwing my dad and putting ads in magazines for 3 ways is going to heaven. Scott - going to hell.
How did I react. How would you react if your hard of hearing Grandmother sat next to you and just lost her son? You would do what I did and not say a word. I held Grandma's hand as she wept and didn't listen a word the preacher was saying.
After the service Ed, Patrick and I left. We got drunk and went to a dog show.
I will not repeat this with my Grandmother. But I will tell you all when we are having brunch and dedicating the headstone.
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
Option 1) As Ed and I did, suddenly watching the flashing lights of Fire Engines race up the street.
Option 2) As Elizabeth did, watching the 10PM local news and seeing the house 1/2 way up the block on fire on the TV?
Option 3) As Bill did, having a drunk Scooter and Ed run up to your door, demand the neighbors key to save the animals next door to the fire?
The fire didn't spread (we have a quick ass Fire Department in the hills). But I did learn a little too much about some neighbors (like who was late because they had to go back inside to put clothes on). By the way, the annoying rhymes with witch next door with the barking dogs couldn't be bothered to come outside and see if everyone was okay. She made her husband move their cars.
FYI - Eddie and I weren't that drunk, we were winded from running to Bill's. And, we did get the animals out - a big hairy brown Saymoed-ish dog, a little Chiwalla and a cat shoved in a crate too small for it. Eddie spent most of the next hour making sure the little Chiwawa was okay. He was kind of shaky.
Monday, November 08, 2004
So we are driving back from the desert yesterday, amid the idiots. There is always at least a few idiots who drive like nincompoops. This one big black Expedition (henceforth referred to as BBE) is racing through traffic. BBE is cutting across lanes, cutting off cars to gain one or two car lengths.
Through a 3 lane section of hilly construction, BBE caused a near accident with a minivan, and two seconds later with a Mini. The BBE could see nothing.
Ed, if you don’t remember, hates BBE’s. It was a BBE that ran him into the center concrete about 2 years ago. Worse, this BBE, driven like a bat out of hell, had a “Viva Bush” sticker in the upper part of the rear window further giving us cause for hate, and obstructing the rear view. Apparently the driver lived by the Italian Racing Creed – what is behind me is not important.
Well due to a poor choice, the BBE was stuck in the number 2 lane as Ed and I passed in the number 1 lane (the fast lane). As we pass the idiot we see the driver. An pretty, face lifted, dyed blond haired, big perky fake boobed woman yacking into a phone she held with one hand. Yes ladies and germs, she was driving at Mach 1 (actually 80 MPH), cutting people off while on the phone.
So she drops in behind Ed as he races by, and Ed turns into Bad Ed. He slows down to ape the speed of the driver next to, and just behind him. So she cannot pass. She must slow down to rip around the second car, and in that time Ed has speed up and is way ahead of her again. She then decides to ride Ed’s ass.
Ed slows down until she realizes she must back off. This goes on for a painfully long time. Fro those of you that know the road, it goes on from Redlands (before the 215), to Etiwanda at the 15.
Finally at the 10 and 15 interchange, the traffic loosens up and she races past us. I have the phone in my hand to taunt her. Ed is ready to flip her off. As she whizzes by, she holds a piece of paper in the window. On it is written “USC”. She is still on the phone.
Ed and I laugh – she looks over at us and laughs with us and we all go on. Ed’s license plate says UCLA and WISCONSIN. Somewhere in her attempts to run around us, she has found a blank piece of paper and a marker. She has realized that the thing that would piss me off most was USC (they won and UCLA look like dog turd this week-end) and wrote USC on it. She did all this while driving like a mad-woman AND WHILE ON THE PHONE.
You cannot hold a grudge against someone like that. Even someone like that who voted for Bush.
Sunday, November 07, 2004
If you don't know "Ray" is the story of Ray Charles, and it was completed just before Ray Charles died.
So they say to Jamie Fox, did Ray Charles see it. And Jamie Fox says yes, right before he died he did see it. And he loved it.
And all I could think was. See it? Is it me, or was Ray Charles blind?
Must be a helluva movie.
Friday, November 05, 2004
Let me count the good things....
1) My Eddie - he doesn't like all the pictures of himself, but he is a great guy.
[SM: Updated after an anonymous comment]
2a) My Mother - warm, wonderful and witty. I would, of course, noted her when first posting, but I think of her as a friend. (Step lively folks - it's getting deep)
2b) My friends. They, like myself, are slowly getting over the election. Liquor helps.
3) A world where Jeremy Bloom, Alexi Nemov, the Coors Twins and Jessica Simpson all like to flaunt it cannot be all bad.
4) Karl Dorrel - horrible coach of UCLA - has finally proved his worth. If you can't read the LA Times - don't worry. The short answer is that a 21 year old - 4 years of eligibility - amazing prep quarter back just back from a Mormon mission is visiting LA. He is thinking of attending UCLA because he likes our offense. You go Bruins.
Thursday, November 04, 2004
To get me wrong, it was going to be good.
For example, in driving to work today I was sneared at by another Pri-Ass, as I now refer to Prius owners. And in his snear I saw much that was wrong with the world.
This little stuck up queen, with his tight little navy blue sweater and the button down shirt peeking out of it believes that the fact he drives an ugly hybrid give him the right to give me in my truck a sdirty look. Honey I was fighting for the right for you to be an out and snippy queen when you were in your upper middle class house with direct from Bullock's Crib-with it's baby freindly netting and the Valium popping mom. Do not give me atttitude.
Then I figured it out. Pri-Asses buy their ugly little cars because they are ugly and stand out. Honda makes 3 hybrids, Ford makes a hybrid SUV, but these are trendy enough. Because they aren't OBVIOUS. The Prius and the Pri-Asses stand out because there car is so ugly. Oh and they had to pay extra and ... shhh... "get on the LIST" to get one. Bite Me!
Yea, the world owes you a big fat debt of gratitude because you are enlightened enough to buy a Prius. I got a better idea, Sparky. Why don't you take the bus. It runs right down La Brea. I sure your sweatered hide would save even more gas on public transportation.
See - I am a little on edge right now. So not the best time for a rant.
Hey, did you see know that the election is over they found out that the explosives were stolen after we took over the base? I heard this from KNX Radio and this was the next sentence. "President Bush's Representative said that he will extend his hand to the democrats in the next term. But cautioned that he wouldn't extend it very far." Really, that is what he said.
To quote Rufas (Wainright) - "Oh what a world we live in."
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Really I tried. Please read the note below. I swear I tried. Then I see this picture.
This is who you guys voted for!
This is a draft dodger that convinced Americans that John Kerry (decorated veteren) was a war criminal.
This is a man who took a national surplus and turned it into the biggest deficet in history. THEN has the balls to tell us that Kerry couldn't pay for his plans.
This is a man who promised to unite the country. Then used 9/11 to atack anyone who disagreed with him as a traitor.
Smirky the Chimp. This is who you voted for?
So, at least it it over. And as a good American I will support the President and the Senate. It's a great country to live in. And, he won the popular vote. Clearly people see something in him that I don't.
Maybe he will surprise those of us that are afraid of him. Maybe the Republican attack machine has finished with it's flurry of attacks on "liberals", "the gay agenda" and "tax and spend democrats". Maybe we can get on with the business of being Americans again.
I hope so. Congrats to the Republicans I know.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
So remember when you were little and driving and you saw a baby carriage in the crosswalk and you yelled - "2 points!". Well, you never did it. I mean no one really takes out a baby carriage.
But I do honk at cell phone drivers - and if you fluster them it is a point. If you cause them to shake there head and pull it out of their ass - 2 points. If you get them to hang up 5 points.
The other day, I am driving down Olympic and there is construction. At La Brea, the 3 lanes east bound and left turn lane turn into two lanes - no left turn signs. What happens?
An idiot and obviously kept blond in a brand new Range Rover stops in the middle of La Brea, THEN TURNS ON HER LEFT TURN SIGNAL. She is, of course, on the phone. This, ladies and germs is in the middle of rush hour. Olympic and La Brea is a busy busy place.
I honk. Excessively.
She waves me around. I honk again. Others join in. She finally shakes her hands like she touched a hot oven and drives on to the next street.
Where there is still construction and giant NO LEFT TURN SIGNS. Once again, Queen of Mensa stops, puts on her blinker to turn left. Once again we all lean on our horns.
She finally drives one more street, to where there is a left turn lane. We all stop at the light, and she rolls down her window. It turns out it, she is really a he. A long blond haired kept he (like this 23 year old could afford a brand new Range Rover) and he yells at me in a nasty voice, "What do you want me to do?"
I reply, perhaps too loudly with only a touch of spittle flying out of my mouth, "Hang up the ****ing phone and drive!"
He rolled his window up quickly before the crazy queen in the pickup ripped his head off.
I beleive that was 8 pnts in total. *snap*
Monday, November 01, 2004
It was quite a fun week-end. We saw WICKED!, which was a killer show on Broadway. It was great. Eddie got us a private tour of NBC studios in new York. We walked on the Nightline set, the Sports Set (where they told us they didn't really want football anyway), and the Saturday Night Live set. It was really fun. We also bumbled around the city with Lynn and Muffin.
And I realized I will my Grandma a lot. I was taking pictures of us as well as buildings and things when I realized that I really don't have anyone to show these too. I mean I will show them and all, but the point was often to show Zela - for whom my pictures were a window into a world that she didn't share but did help make possible.
And coming back on the plane I looked at Ed and was in love. But you know you can only say "I love you" or "Thank you honey" so long before you sound like a blathering idiot. So, in my brain, I started to sing the song Zela always sang to me.
I love you, a bushel and a peck.
A bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck.
And I realized that she sang that to me because she didn't want to say I love you all the time and sound crazy.
So it was a good week-end to get away. And it is good I will always take her with me.