Saturday, December 31, 2005

Well, NOW I see what they are saying

So, Eddie and I have been watching the TV, and apparently there is a lot of rain up in Northern California. It hasn't been great down in LA (a little overcast), but no rain.

Well, NOW I see what they are talking about. I did not want to taunt the rain gods before, so I said nothing. This morning it started raining, and it has just gotten worse all day long. It is raining a lot!

Rose Parade is suppose to get the worst of it.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Christmas was nice and all, but...

Ashford thinks that Christmas was nice and all that, but he is ready for his chair to be put back.

Ashford has a little complex about his green chair, and where it goes in the house. It goes off to one-side of the front room, so that he can watch what is going on, but not be forced to participate. Well, that is where the tree goes as well.

He puts up with this for Christmas. But the presents are gone, the monorail has made it's last port of call, and Ashford would like his chair back.

Happy New Year.

Friday, December 23, 2005


Trevor is not a happy snipped puppy.

He is back from the doctor and he is tired, stoned, upset tummy, hates the hat, and doesn't want anyone around him and he wants to play and he HATES THE HAT.

Trevor's Christmas Present

Christmas comes on the 23rd for our little Trevor. Here he is at 6:30 or so. Eddie is reading the paper and Scooter is taking pictures of the dog. What he is so coyly hiding (his twig and bits) will not be around for the hiding long.

Yes ladies and germs, our little Trevor is getting the big snip for his Christmas present. Eddie is being the Grinch.

Of course, it all makes sense. We will be able to be home with him for a week. But no matter how you slice it, no one likes having their nuts cut off.

And, to make matters worse, he can't eat before surgery. It is 6:30 and that is breakfast time in puppy land. We have picked up the empty bowls (because he is learning Hastings trick of knocking the bowl to remind us it is empty. More tongiht.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Haven't I Been Good!?!?!

Have not I been very good? I have not berated you with my thoughts on George ("I can do whatever I want, and you sad sorry bastards can't do a thing to me") Bush.

He illegally wiretaps. No, turns out he says it is not illegal because he only wiretaps International calls (albeit both the US and the foreign sides). No, wait. It turns out (read yesterday's New York Times) that he wiretaps US to US calls. But only when he thinks it MIGHT have to do with Terrorism. As the Attorney General said yesterday, all is fair when we are in a state of war.

Memo to Attorney General, we are not in a state of war. We have not declared War. The "War on Terror", like the "War on Drugs" or the "War on Poverty" (or the short lived "War on Islamic Extremists" - which was swiftly recalled by the white House PR team after a short out-of-town run on the Sunday news shows) is a phrase, not a real War. You might want to look that up - being, you know, Attorney General and all.

Does it pas the Bill Clinton test? If Bill did it, would Congress be raising a stink? (Let's see... They impeached him for getting a hummer, my guess is they would have drawn and quartered him for illegally wire-tapping people he thought MIGHT be engaged in something illegal.)

To bad there is no precedent to judge this by. Yep, too bad something like this has never happened before. All new. No one knows if it is illegal or not. That is, if by no precedent you mean that you will purposefully choose to be an idiotic partisan a-hole. You see, there is one little precedent. The second charge of impeachment against Richard Nixon was that he illegally wiretapped citizens.

But that was back when our elected representatives chose to represent us, not blindly follow the party hack leaders into the land of DeNile.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005


Oh the holidaze. Ho ho ho.

I am actually quite looking forward to Christmas this year. You know, without the ghost of Christmas wrongs done in previous years. My dad and grandma, Lord love them both, had a passion for remembering past wrongs at holiday time. Bringing them up, only to say "Oh, don't worry about that now.". Ah... Christmas traditions. I, of course, have that charming gene myself - and I try mightily to subdue it. Often successfully.

Of course, don't even get me started on the Turkey dinner or I will go off for a few hours on the 2003 dinner in which I spent 4 hours making a dinner that was consumed in less than 15 minutes.

And the Ed recalls (joyfully) the 4 hour drive to the desert dragging Zela and Lynn; when my first comment to him was, "Why didn't you go up the 57 like I told you too." Ah yes, the good times.

So, no funny stories of Christmas' past this year. I will just watch the Christmas movies (War of the Roses and Bad Santa) and celebrate the year in style with the bf, friends, and my pups. I will have a cup of Christmas cheer (on the rocks - hand raised to both my grandfathers who celebrated that way - of course they are both dead, but I sure that had nothing to do with it), gather my dogs and boyfriend in my arms, croak out ½ a stanza of a Christmas song and go to bed with visions of sugar plums nowhere near my head.

Ho ho ho.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

As the days go by

Well, we had a great Christmas party. A lot of people showed up. Between the street neighbors, Ed's work friends, my work friends, and general friends it was a fun mix of people. A lot of people brought re-gifts (you know nice things they had which they traded for someone else's nice things).

Gary and Laraunt brought the worst re-gift. They brought a ToFurkey. Yes, a boxed tofu - turkey dinner for the holidays. It was gross. It went from their hands to the fridge to the trash in short order. Other people, thankfully, brought nicer re-gifts.

Even street negihbors that don't get along generally got along very well. It was good.

FYI - the Christmas Palm was a hit!

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Ed and the Tooth

So Trevor is teething and Ed is .... well not obsessed but he can see obsessed from the grassy knoll.

Did you know how dog's get new teeth. Unlike us, they grow a new one, THEN the old one falls out. Ed did not know this, but we do know.

Eddie took pictures to prove it.

So this is Trevor minus the baby tooth.

So this is Trevor with the baby tooth.

The oddest thing. Eddie saved both of these teeth and wants Mickey to make a necklace with it. Really. I am telling you, he can see obsessed from here.

Between Zero and Scream

You know kids, somewhere are work there has got to be a speed between Zero and Scream.

One guy came in today so made at me he was literally shaking. Apparently someone told him one of my guys sent out fix dates. And they were going to be wrong.

Actually one of my guys sent out TARGET ship dates. Not dates, TARGET dates; based on our current information.

It made no difference, I had to send out a correction to clarify what target meant.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

The South Shall Rise Again

So I have a new Deployment Manager working with the European teams. Right now our relationship with Europe isn't great. We have made some temporary fixes, and the want the permanent fixes.

In the phone call with my new (Jewish) Deployment Manager, this German female manager (clearly an ex-Dominatrix) said in her broken English, "I know we have the fast solution. I want to know when we will have the Final Solution."

A nice Jewish boy doesn't not enjoy the mean German lady using the words "Final Solution", even in reference to a software problem.

Monday, December 12, 2005


Well, it was a fine week-end. Bradley came down from Toronto (and should be back soon - his movie is almost done). We hung out Saturday night with him and Lynn.

Eddie and I were busy with Christmas type things and just hanging around. It was very relaxing and nice. Costco wasn't so relaxing, but it was nice anyway.

I have an early morning call where people from Europe are getting together to bitch at us while I am still half asleep. So I am up drinking coffee at home, trying to rouse myself for a full morning of fun!


Friday, December 09, 2005

Kong Size Expectations

So.. NBC Universal invited all the West Coast Employees to see King Kong yesterday. It was shown at the Universal City Theaters (they closed them to the public). Eddie and I went, and meet Gavin, Mickey and Ruthie there.

How to evaluate the big monkey movie.

Well, I had heard it was GREAT. The New York paper said grown men were moved to tears. The UK papers loved it. As Ed said upon leaving the movie, they were not sitting next to me.

See, if I had heard it was horrible, I would have really liked it.

As it was, I had one of the best times at the movies I ever had. About half the movie was really funny and really great. The other half of the movie was really funny - for all the wrong reasons. I could not stop making jokes during the movie. Of source this is nothing new, I still love Bram Stroker's Dracula for the cheese-ball moments. But Eddie, Mickey and Gavin were also making comments.

The thing is, in between the laughingly bad moments, it is a really really good movie.

And, top to bottom, it is a fun time at the movies. Jack Black is great, Naomi Watts is great (although she seemed to me to be trying to act like "Nicole Kidman in King Kong") and I finally get why people like Adrian Brody.

Go see it, but don't expect a great movie. Then you will like it.

One last note, it's like 3 hours long! The Monkey doesn't even show up for an hour! Peter Jackson (the Director) uses his wife as the Editor. I don't know who can't say no to whom - but they should work on that.

One other last note. Great GCI, but Peter Jackson is a little too in love with what he can do on the computer. Peter, that way lies the dark side (and Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow).

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Pathetic Blogging by e-mail

Well, I am sure this will look awful. But, since I cannot get to blogger, I must do it this way.

So, forgive an old man a small rant before the Nincompoopery.

Rant: In the olden days, when the sun was shining, the earth was new and Los Angeles wasn't full of New York rejects (who "miss the cold"), we have good department stores. We had Bullocks, Broadway, Robinsons, Buffums, May Company and others.

In fact, Bullocks was so upscale that their flagship store on Wilshire Blvd (a Green / Bronze Art Deco piece on history on the register of historic buildings) had it's own name: Bullocks Wilshire. Same as Sacs 5th Ave. (Originally only the Sacs store on 5th Ave was called Sacs 5th Ave).

Well Macys is evil. They came in and bought Bullocks and Broadway. Two great department stores that made money. Now, in the hands of Macys (which I always associate with San Francisco because that is where I had to deal with the horrible J.C. Penny's Junior), Bullocks and Broadway are gone. Now we have Macy's and their 365 day a year "Last Sale of the Hour" theme.

In Century City (different store, but suffice to say a very upscale outdoor mall in Beverly Hills), the Broadway and Bullocks were the anchor stores - so they changed to Macys and Bloomingdales (Macy's at twice the price, 3 times the attitude and half the selection). To combat the Borg of Retail, Robinsons and May Company merged into Robinsons May.

Robinsons May had a great Flagship store on the corner of Wilshire and Santa Monica. Right next to the Beverly Wilshire Hotel where the Golden Globes are every year (they share a parking lot).

Well, since this isn't Star Trek, the Borg have finally taken over Robinsons May. The Flagship store is a couple of blocks away from Century City, so the Borg is shutting it down. What will go up instead?

Two 12 story condos buildings, 4 townhouse complexes and 12 zillion people. At the corner of Wilshire and Santa Monica. Currently 97,000 cars a day use that intersection. 97,000 cars a day is enough so that 1/2 the entire population of Madison Wisconsin could drive past that intersection every day. If you must drive through it, you stop blocks and blocks away and inch towards the intersection.

Two 12 story condo buildings and 4 townhouse complexes! At that corner, Wilshire goes from 8 lanes to 4 (in Beverley Hills, the street is narrower). At that corner Santa Monica goes from 6 lanes to 4 (again Bev Hills). So the added traffic will be quell nightmare.

Nin Com Poopery

Monday, December 05, 2005

Well - I've decided to only blog from home

You know, I have been thinking about this. It probably isn't the right thing to do to blog on company time. So I think I will mainly blog from home for a while.

(Yes, my company blocked my access from work to Blogger).

Our Christmas Tree is fabulous. Eddie bought me a light up Palm Tree. It is so cute. I have enclosed a "lite" picture and an unlite picture.

If you are in twon, we are having a party on December 16th. It is a simple block, work, friends party. Please come.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Mascot for December - Kenny

It's not because he is cute. There are any number of cuter boys in the adult sizes (I think he might be 5'3" in boots).

No, it's for 2 reasons.

1. When the news on the radio to work gets to be too much for me, I turn on Kenny and I smile. His music brings up great memories, thoughts and feelings.

Not 2. he has a great voice - but that is not why.

2. His Christmas album is funky. I mean Silent Night with a Steel Drum? It sounds stupid, but it works. It tip toes across many genres that should not work together (Hawaiian Traditional Carols, a couple of Hymnal Type Songs and a couple of nearly novelty songs) and yet... and yet he pulls it all together so it is a nice little album.

So that is it. Kenny is the Mascot.

And no, I don't want the 4 day cruise to the Bahamas where he has a private concert on an island. Unless someone wants to split the cost of a room? The Junior Suite has a private Balcony a queen size bed or 2 twins - and a pull out couch?

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Ticket Price for the USC / UCLA game

What to know what USC (rated #1) and UCLA (rated #11) tickets are going for. In California it is legal to resell, just not AT the game. So ebay and have the tickets for sale.

Now, it is quite a rivalery. I mean, two good teams in the same city (where there is no pro team). And we have been rivals for 50 years.

Price PER TICKET on the 45 yard line, 22 rows up from the field.



And One Last goodbye to Mascot of the Month

And one last quote from Tina Fey - Mascot of November.....

(from SNL)

FEY -- "All hell broke loose in the House of Representatives last night when Ohio Republican Jean Schmidt was violently booed by her colleagues for implying that Congressman John Murtha was a coward for wanting to pull our troops out of Iraq. (AFTER PLAYING FOOTAGE OF THE INCIDENT) Wow, I haven't heard that much booing since I quit stripping."

Brokeback Mountain Premiere

Well, we went to the Brokeback Mountain premiere last night. Let me start with the movie. It is so not a Gay Cowboy Movie. What it is, is a story of two people in love - who can't be. Who won't let themselves be (and being 1963 probably couldn't let themselves be).

It is also the story of these two men, and how there lives are affected after "the night / summer". They both get married and have kids. It is hard to describe (which is why the gay cowboy movie title has stuck).

It is directed by Ang Lee, who did Sense and sensibility, The Ice Storm The Hulk and won an Oscar for crouching Tiger / Hidden Dragon.

It is a really good movie. Jake and Heath were great (Jake was there in person and is cute!). They are both straight, and they play the parts perfectly - which is two straight guys who don't get what is going on emotionally with them. The wives are spot on - in really difficult roles.

I hate movies where the bad guys are REALLY BAD and the good guys are PERFECT. This is a movie about people, love, loss and emotions. All the characters (okay - except maybe 1 father in law) are real people.

It is slow - as all Ang Lee pictures are. It is certainly not porn - but it is achingly romantic. Not just the guys, but the women too.

At the premiere, you never know who you are going to be impressed by. We attempt to be bla-say about actors. No problem. But Oliver Stone was there as was Jamie Lee Curtis, Christina Slater, a ton of big directors. No biggie for me. Ed was impressed with Ang Lee (Ed spoke with him).

Me, I was tongue tied cuz Larry McMurty was there. He co-wrote the story. He is also an amazing writer! He wrote (to name some) Last Picture Show, Lonesome Dove, Streets of Larado, Leaving Cheyenne, Terms of Endearment, Texasville - and a ton of other great books. He impressed me.

And, he captures the "West" in this movie in a way you don't see much. The mountains, the beauty, the freedom, the loneliness, the emtpiness, the spring, the bleak. So much of the "West" (not LA, but the mountains and in space in between the mountains) is hard to describe because it is a feeling. The movie catches that.

It's not the best thing I have ever seen. If you go you will want it to go faster. But I really like it.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

One Last Trevor in November

One last shot.

Lying Cry-Baby

Blubber'er. Liar!

Randy "Duke" Cunningham (no relation to Richie) tearfully quit the House of Representatives yesterday. The Republican from San Diego cried and (per MSNBC) "pleaded guilty to graft and tearfully resigned Monday, admitting he took $2.4 million in bribes from defense contractors to steer business their way."

Said the boo-de-hoo-dee liar, who coped a plea for a lesser sentance, "I'm almost 65 years old and I enter the twilight of my life. I intend to use the remaining time that God grants me to make amends, and I will." (CNN).

I should be nicer, I suppose, to the blubbery, lying theif who took 2.4 Million dollars to steering contracts to a Denfense contract (MZM Inc.). I mean, taking advantage of the office to which you have been elected isn't really new. Lying isn't new. Betraying the American Public and the Trust of the people of his district - why that is almost quaint.

No, what sets my team on edge is this quote (from July of this year - from CNN); Cunningham said while he continues to believe he received a "reasonable price" for the Del Mar home, he and his wife will sell their current home, where they had planned to retire, and donate part of the proceeds to charity to demonstrate to their friends and supporters "that I did nothing wrong."

Either quit whenyou are caught - or continue to lie to the bitter end. Now you just look like a low level lying crook that steared BILLIONS our our tax dollars to give to a low rent defense contractor without thinking about the quality (and possible harm to our military) of the output. The 2.4 Million dollars (that you have ADMITTED TO - who knows how much else there is) cost Amreicans Billions in tax dollars - and unknown amounts in military waster.

FYI - the contractor hasn't lost a contract one for this.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Ho ho Penguin

Here is the Christmas Penguin, all blown'ed up.

I am back

I was sick the first part of last week, and then back East (in the cold and snow - for a warm Thanksgiving) - but I am back now.


More later

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Ed's Nigthmare

Just so you know getting Stuck at the top of the Sratosphere is like ed's worst nightmare.

And the worst thing is, this isn't the first time. Apparently once it stopped due to high winds. It is suppose to stop and return, but it just stopped. So with 60 MPH wind gusts, the people were left hanging over the edge.

Last night some poor Japanese tourists were stuck because a driver hit a power junction somewhere far below. They were stuck in cold weather in the dark for a while.

Other Japanese toursits, hearing the ride would be shut down, were really mad and wanted to ride anyway.

At least put a little effort into it

Okay, I will admit that I do not understand that whole "transgender" thing. I know that some people feel trapped in the wrong gender. I know that we are suppose to be fine with it - and to be honest, I am. I don't really care one way or the other.

But, and I cannot stress this enough, slapping on a wig and a dress is not enough. I mean if you are really a woman trapped in a man's body - you would put a little work into to. Women work to look nice. I mean, that is part of the thing. If you don't put a little effort into the process, you are just a lazy man in a dress.

I bring this up today because as I am driving to work, I see a man in a wig and a dress driving a Grand Cherokee next to me. It is a reasonable expensive, fashionable pale tan houndstooth work suit with a white blouse underneath, and he is clean - so it isn't a long night of partying or anything. No, he is trhying to pull this off.

But please. First he has the man hand's, he can't help that I get it. A little lotion can't hurt. Maybe some nail polish (at least don't bite them).

But he has a red/blond wig on (with a stylish just-below-the-shoulder cut) and he has big black man eyebrows. Yes honey, it hurts to pluck or wax, welcome to womanhood. He is not wearing a lick of make-up; and he needs it. I mean, no blush, no powder and male features. Plenty of women don't wear make up, I know that. But they were born women and have been taking care of their skin. This guy looked like he had work construction until he slapped on the dress. His skin wasn't "leathery" like from the sun, but wrinkled like from work in the sun.

And, when the wig blew into his mouth, he put his head back, shook it and made the "damn it" face in the car. Not the overly feminine brush back with the pinky, not even the sexy head wave (and any good trany knows the sexy head wave comes with the whoel wrong body attitude). No, this was the annoyed, I gotta wear this stupid hairshake.

I am thinking maybe he was about to get laid off somewhere and he figures this will be the basis of his lawsuite. But still, you gotta put SOME work into it.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

So great week-end

Eddie was in CN for training over the week, so on Friday I flew to New York for a week-end with him.

Let me say this, Eddie did a great job. As you might or might not know, Eddie is not the planner. But he had his wits about him this week-end and showed me a GREAT time.

Friday night we went to see Jarhead. Odd movie. It's not a war movie at all (and not pro or con), it is a movie about a few kids in desert storm. Desert storm was 6 months of waiting and 4 days of war. this movie kind of shows it. Half way through the movie, I thought it was long, boring and kind of stunk. But at the end of the movie, I loved it. I don't know when that changed, but maybe it was my settling into it's pace and story. Or not.

Saturday day, we went to see Sweeny Todd with Patti LaPone. Patti LaPone is my fav-or-ite actress on the stage. When I was in High School a bunch of us came up to the Music Center to see Evita before it went to Broadway (and before it was known as EVITA!). She was a revelation to me. She was amazing. I have seen her since then in concert, but only once in a show. I saw her in London in Sunset Blvd (before Idiot Lloyd Weber decided to put Glenn (I-couldn't-carry-a-note-with-a-wheel-barrow-and-super-glue) Close in it.

Sweeny Todd is a dark musical (about a wrongly accused man who comes back from prison to kill his accuser) that was actually done great and was funny! Patti LaPone made it great.

Then, Saturday night, we saw Saturday Night Live. We actually went to the dress rehersal where they do a couple more skits and jokes on the news so they see what does and doesn't work in front of an audience. We had little "neppl" reserved seats so we didn't have to wait in line. It was Gurrrrr-REAT (as Tony the Tiger would say).

It was a really nice week-end.

Thursday, November 10, 2005


SEWAT - Scott and Ed's Weird Ass Terriers

It must be a sub-species of Terriers that only inhabit our homes.

First it was the hair licking thing. Our dogs like our wet hair inthe Jaquzi. Most visitors dog's won't venture near the Jaquzi. The funny thing is that Trevor started it right away. Odd.

Then today. It was raining. He woke up at 5:30 (like freakin' clock work) to go pee. So we go outside. It is wet. He stands around, won't walk on the rocks to pee. So I wait and wait and wait. Still nothing. I go inside and get his leash (sometimes you have to force him to stand on the rocks to pee). I stand outside with him. Nuttin'. I walk up and down. Nuttin'. Exasperted, I implore, "Trevor, would you PLEASE 'Go Pee" (which is the command). Nuttin'.

Fine. I open the door, take off the leash. He bolts into the bathroom upstairs, where the pee pad is laid out in preperation for the day, and pees. I swear him sigh as he did it.

As you probably know, my other dogs have wet feet issues as well (they have a problem peeing if their feet are wet).


Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Four days of work with the businesses nearly done

I have been working with our international business partners (read screaming mimi's) for the last three days - I am nearly done.

It has been a fun and exciting experience. In the sense that "fun" means scary, dreadful days of listening to the yell at us and "exciting" means ex-screw-ciatingly boring recaps of everything we have ever done wrong for the last 8 years.


Almost over.

Monday, November 07, 2005

The less said about College Footbal this week-end the better


Wisconsin did not look good and UCLA looked like something Trevor would leave as an accident on the floor.

As for Eddie, his day only got better on Sunday. Eddie had changed flights so he could go out to the desert with Lynn and I. so he took the 1 PM flight. That meant landing around 10 and an hour drive to campus (he is at GE University this week).

Well, at 3:30 PM I got his call that his flight still hadn't left. Yikes! I think he landed after Midnight, then had a 90 minute car ride, then had to check in. And class started bright and early for our Eddie.

As you may know, he doesn't like bright and early even on Pacific Coast Time.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Tine Fey Mascot for November

Work and life keep me insane. Tina Fey helps keep me sane one night a week (during the Saturday Night Live news).

Some examples:
FEY -- "Yesterday, Dick Cheney's chief of staff Scooter Libby was indicted on five felony counts ranging from perjury to obstruction of justice in the Valerie Plame leak case. For more on this story, ask Scooter. Apparently that mofo'll tell you anything."

FEY -- "If convicted, Libby could face the following penalties: obstruction of justice - 10 years in prison. Making false statements - 5 years. Perjury - 5 years. Going to jail with the name Scooter - priceless."

FEY -- "The indictments against Scooter Libby were announced at a press conference Friday by Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald. Trim, soft-spoken, manly Patrick Fitzgerald. His clear, steady voice, piercing blue eyes and impeachable integrity restoring my faith in America and making me want to do things I have never done before. I love you, Patrick Fitzgerald, because you don't lie to me. I love you."

And the ever popular:

The spilt was greeted by gaspes. Because people, if these two are bored of sex with each, what hope is there for us.


Thursday, November 03, 2005

Some days you feel like a nut

Some days you feel like a nut.
Some days you don't.
Almond Joy has nuts.
My job is ripping the soul out of me.

Whoops, that just slipped in there. I believe I have completed a rather nifty trick. I now have people on 3 continents pissed off at me. Apparently Business Partnerships Director also means "chief guy to scream at when no one else in the damn organization will listen".


Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Conseratives Do NOt want Vaccine for Cervical Cancer

Okay, this nincompoopery - not ranting. Not funny ninmcompoopery. More like very sad.

There is a new vaccine that protects against one kind of Cervical Cancer - the kind that is transmitted by HPV a Sexual Transmitted Disese.

But the President has appointed a Focus on the Family member to the health board that decides how to immunize kids. Most members say this immunization should be given to all girls before puberty (along with measles, and other vaccines). But since the virus is sexually transmitted - even thought it leads to a form of cancerm that infects 10,000 women a year - the vaccine should not be given. It might lead more people to have sex.

So what is the cost of putting nincompoops in charge. So far, 3,700 female deaths per year. (But, Focus on the Family prefers to think of it as 3,700 harlot deaths per year).

Key paragraphs from the newspaper article.

The jockeying reflects the growing influence social conservatives, who had long felt overlooked by Washington, have gained on a broad spectrum of policy issues under the Bush administration. In this case, a former member of the conservative group Focus on the Family serves on the federal panel that is playing a pivotal role in deciding how the vaccine is used.

"What the Bush administration has done has taken this coterie of people and put them into very influential positions in Washington," said James Morone Jr., a professor of political science at Brown University. "And it's having an effect in debates like this."

The vaccine protects women against strains of a ubiquitous germ called the human papilloma virus. Although many strains of the virus are innocuous, some can cause cancerous lesions on the cervix (the outer end of the uterus), making them the primary cause of this cancer in the United States. Cervical cancer strikes more than 10,000 U.S. women each year, killing more than 3,700.

The vaccine appears to be virtually 100 percent effective against two of the most common cancer-causing HPV strains. Merck, whose vaccine is further along, plans to ask the Food and Drug Administration by the end of the year for approval to sell the shots.

Monday, October 31, 2005

He won, let him nominate who he wants (Appended)

Scooter: 1 Nov05. Apparently I was not clear from both the comments included here and from the commments the boyfriend direct to me last night.

I did not mean to say that I like Alito or that Bush can nominate anyone. What I meant was, Harriet Meirs was not qualifed. This guy is. He is at least smart.

And, he is going to be confirmed, they have the votes and the backing. This isn't a fight we can win - so we gotta make the best of it. He is going to roll back rights for everyone in this country. The right to be held without trial (or even being charged), the right to legal abortion - lots of things. But don't kill yourself arguing against him. He will be confirmed.

original post

You know, I don't like Bush. I don't admire him. I don't think he good for the country. I think we are poorer as a nation and a community of Americans because of him.


He won. So he is nominating a really right wing guy. Well duh. That's what he said he was going to do during the race. That's what he has done.

When Clinton won we got Ruth Bader Ginsberg.

When Bush won we got the only appleate judge on the 3rd circut that thought Congress could not regulate private ownership of automatic weapons. This is not a surprise. Does no one remember the NRA said if Bush won their guy was in the white house.

So, good luck Judge Alito.
To everyone else, there is usually at least 6 months from hearing a case, until the decision is handed down. I suggest you use that time wisely if the outcome will effect you.

Just give me the heart attack now (but let me beat SC first)

So, we watched the Bruins (UCLA) on Saturday.

First, the Bruins did not show up to play. For the first 3 quarters of the game (and for 6 minutes in the 4th quarter) the Bruins were no where to be found. This is a high scoring, fun team.

But Stanford in Palo Alot is the ban of the Bruins. We have lost the last 3 times wer traveled their. Last time we were in the top 10 and riding a unbeatean sctreak (2001), we traveled into Palo Alto - got our asses kicked, and promptly lost the next 6 games in a row.

The got the woobie on us.

So, with 9 minutes to go in the game, as they score their 3rd touchdown (after a UCLA interception) to go up 24-3 - well, Scooter was not a happy camper.

And, then.... And, then... The sun peaked through the clouds (metaphorically - it was a night game), Yasmin Bleath ran across the beach without a bra, and the gods of football shined on yours truely. In less than 8 minutes, 8 MINUTES, we scroed 3 times to tie it. But that was not the most amazing twist. Ahh.. the Bruins have come back like that before.

No, the true miracle. The "Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus" moment. The "Mrs. Mitchell, your divorced is granted" smell of success. Our defenses (110th best in the nation against the run) held Stanford to 3 and out, not once, but TWICE. Sure we can score 21 pints in 8 minutes. But we usually let them a scare 14 back.

We held.

Spencer Haver is my hero. (He is our only defense consistent player). Spencer is my man.

But on Saturday. Ifeel in love with number 17 (I will look up who it is before I publish this). Number 17 sacked the Stanford QB in regulation to force apunt.

Number 17 scaked the Stanford QB in overtime to force a a field goal. A FIELD GOAL. They scored 3 points in OT and dared us to match them. Are you kidding me? We just scored 21 points like nuttin'!

Oh we ran once just for show. It didn't go far enough on fast enough and we were tired. So Drew Olsen heaved a pass on second down into the end zone and the game was over. And Scooter was exhausted.

Number 17: Justin Hickman (you think he looks scary here -= image him tackling you for a loss and giggling).

Friday, October 28, 2005

This Really Happened

(forwarded from Lynnie) Subject: Fw: Thanks Again For All Your Advice

I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your chain letters over the past few years. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of your concern...

1. I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

2. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

3. I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

4. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

5. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

6. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

7. I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
8. I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our troops.

9. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell - with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

10. I no longer eat prepackaged foods because the estrogens they contain will turn me gay.

11. I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

12. I no longer go to bars because someone will drug me and take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

13. Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to 7 of my friends and make a wish within 5 minutes.

14. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who has been dying for the past seven years.

15. I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating In their special e-mail program.

I will now return the favor. If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1,200 people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will fly over your head at 5:00 pm and the fleas of a thousand camels will Infest your armpits. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend of a friend's neighbor's cousin, and he's a lawyer!

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Song Girls

CNNSI has a photo spread of song girls. The UCLA Girls are in many, cuz they are cute.

(You know where this is going, don't you?)

On the other hand, there is one shot of the USC song girls - looking their best. It's either the end of "Tusk" (for godness sakes, give that horrible song and routine a rest, Fleetwood Mafc recorded it with your band, like, 3 zilliion years ago) or someone has lost a contact.

Perjury: Then and Now

Sunday, republican Texas Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison was on Meet the Press. She said thus.

I certainly hope that if there is going to be an indictment that says something happened, that it is an indictment on a crime and not some perjury technicality where they couldn’t indict on the crime so they go to something just to show
that their two years of investigation were not a waste of time and dollars.

Hummm.... You know sometimes I say we should review the same comment and wonder what everyone thoguht if it was Clinton. Well we don't have to on this. I belive "some perjury technicality" was what the Republicans impeached Clinton for.

FYI - Senator Kay voted to impeach Clinton for this.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Reagan and the Brain Speedometer

How dumb do Radio News reporters think we are? I am listening to the news about the new exhibit at the Reagan Library. The 707 that was his Air Force One has just opened there in an exhibit about how the Air Force One was used by 7 presidents, but Reagan used it the most.

Well the news reporter says, “Today Ronald Reagan’s Air Force One goes on display. Well… I mean Ronald Reagan didn’t actually sit at the controls, but he was the President that most often flew it. You know, as a passenger.”

I think to myself – what are there thousands of people who were thinking, “Damn, that man was not only a great Prezdent – but he could fly that bad boy too!”? I think not.

And then, a commercial comes on that makes me question that thought. There is some new natural herb that will help your brain think faster. It is at GNC. Don’t believe them? Don’t take my word for it – they offer a free, on-line brain speedometer to measure your Brain Speed before and after the herb.

And I think, “Brain Speedometer?”

Okay, maybe there are thousands of people who think that Ronnie actually was flying Air Force 1.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Lynn hits the nail on the head

Lynn forwards some dozzies sometimes (don't we all!), but I liked this one. Mainly because I feel bad for all those little kids riding the bikes with helmets on...
TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. (Scott-> My favorite was riding standing in the front seat and when we hit the brakes my dad and mom would both puts their arms across me).

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on (or when dad whistled).

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem. (Scott -> Okay - never built a go-cart, but I get the idea).

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chatrooms .......... WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Light Bulb time for Scooter

Oh my gawd…

So, I get along with the Indians (from India) at work very well. A bunch of them used to report to me in Chennai. I flew back and forth a couple of times – took them out and generally made them feel at home.

So, when I am walking the halls, we joke around and all.

Well, I just joked with one of them and got a gaw-faw completely out of proportion with my comment. And I realized, - they are laughing because I am the boss.

My first inclination was to wonder if they ever thought I was funny? I know, hard to believe. I quickly came to my senses however and realized they only laughed EXTRA cause I am a big cheese. They laughed before.

My second inclination was pure Karl-Rove evil. I kind of wanted to make inane jokes that didn’t connect at all (okay – MORE inane jokes). And watch them try to laugh.

I have decided to ignore the truth here and continue on joking and enjoying myself. So what if they laugh cuz I am a big cheese. There are worse things – like having to laugh at the jokes my big cheese puts out there.

This is why the 80s and 90s were better than the 00s

This is why the 80s and 90s were better than the 00s

1) 80’s and 90’s look cooler than the 00’s

2) 80’s and 90’s sound cool than the “aught’s”

3) 80’s -> macho = horse
90’s -> macho = SUV
00’s -> macho = Hummers (over compensating)

4) 80’s-> Political Intrigue = Trading Arms for money to give to anti-commie rebels
90’s-> Political Intrigue = Getting a hummer in the oval office
00’s-> Political Intrigue = Outing CIA agent cuz your pissed her husband went after the Prezdent’s “honest mistakes” in his State of the Union speech (by the by – this is a throw back to the Nixoian 70’s)

5) 80’s -> Madonna, New Wave (death of disco)
90’s -> Cher, Latin Boy Bands, JoLo
00’s-> Rap

6) 80’s-> Scary tough guy = Casper Weinberger (I don’t know who he was – but he always sounded tough)
90’s-> Scary tough guy = Mad Madaline Albright
00’s-> Scary tough guy = Dick Cheney (and if the thought of him does send your sack north – you are a big fat liar)

7) 80’s-> First Lady role model = Mary Tyler Moore (smart, tough, but stands by her man)
90’s-> First Lady role model = Heather Locklear (smarter than her man, but dumb enough to love him, kicks ass (but Heather –SO MUCH cuter))
00’s-> First Lady role model = 50’s sitcom wife (smarter than her husband but has to clean up after him)

8) 80’s First Kid -> Ron Regan? That scary daughter with the big blond curls?
90’s First Kid -> Chelsea
00’s First Kid -. The Hammered Bush Twins (okay, her the 00’s kick ass)

9) 80’s -> Commies
90’s -> Japanese Industry
00’s -> Islamofacisum

10) 80’s -> The Cosby Show
90’s -> Melrose Place
00’s -> The Biggest Loser, Law and Order I – VII, CSI:Fargo, Extreme Home-Make-Over-and-Liposuction

Just random thoughts last night as Ed was sick with the Flu.

Come on - you have to apprciate the irony in this

Okay - regardless of political bent you have to laugh at the irony of this. Follow me for a moment.

George Bush appoints Harriet Miers to the Supreme Court.

Harriet, never having been a judge, never written an opinion on Constitutional Law or done anything that would make her qualified for this role - gets hammered by the left and the right.

Laura Bush goes on NBC Today show and says, some of the attacks on Harriet Miers are sexist - because she is a woman. But Larua knows and trusts her.

And everyone nods a little and says, well Laura is a little off-base here; but no reason to go after Laura Bush.

Now reread this as Hillary Clinton goes onto the today show, says trust Bill on picking a smart judge -even though there is no proof. And, Hillary says, if you dont' agree you are sexist.

Tell this to a Republican and watch them stammer as they tell you why it is different (boiling down to they hate Hillary and/or Bill).

Really, you have to appreciate the irony. I do.
Cuz if Bill Clinton said trust me - I would sign on right now. But Bush says trust me - and I think Weapons of Mass Distruction?, I think fund Raising during Hurricane Katrina? I think not.

It all depends on yoru point of view.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

My Mother fully gets into this whole "Montana" Thang

My mom was, when all the world made sense to me, a girl who refused to put up with cold. Oh, she would occasionally visit the white-death for a hour or two - but she never enjoyed it.

And, her move to Montana was prompted (I had assumed) by a nice offer to get away from her other kids (If they don't move out - I'll move out).

Be that as it may. My mom has now fully embraced the Montana life style. she sent these jokes, which I was going to say were over the top. But on my way to work, I heard a woman in Topanga Canyon bitch that since they have been there and bought a million dollar house - she has had to worry about Fires, now maybe Mudslides. Sometimes it doesn't seem worth it. I have clue - Move! If you can afford to live in Topanga Canyon - you can afford to live somewhere else. Suddenly my mom's jokes hit a little closer to home. At least closer to the Canyon.

The following list of rules applies to each person as they enter Montana. Learn 'em and remember 'em.

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Let's get this straight; They're called gravel roads. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. They are horses, cattle & oil wells, and that's what you smell. They smell like money to us. Don't like it? I-90 and I-94 go East & West, and I-15 goes North & South. Pick one.

4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have quarter-million dollar air conditioned tractors that we drive 3 weeks a year, & a couple of $300,000 air conditioned combines that get about 10 days use each year.

5. So every person in every pickup waves. . . . They're being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

7. Yeah, we eat Walleye and Trout. If you really want sushi & caviar they are available at the corner bait shop.

8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

9. We open doors for women. That applies to everyone, regardless of age.

10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Either order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, & breads. We use three spices, salt, pepper and Alpine Touch.

12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet & served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck and have long hair.

13. High School Football is as important here as the Vikings, Seahawks and Broncos, and a dang site more fun to watch.

14. Colleges? Try Montana State or the University of Montana. They come out of there with an education, plus a love for God and country.

15. We have more folks, per capita, in the Navy, Army, Marines and Air Force, than any other state. So don't mess with Montana. If you do it will get your butt kicked by some of the best.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Three things

Well, the nincompoopery isn't until the bottom (I refuse to rant) so let's start with fun news.

1. Eddie posted the pics from Chicago on Ofoto. I look like a tub of goo in them, but I will link anywho...

More Pics.

2. Trevor is taking after Eddie now. He loves to gaze over the city at night.

3. Harriet "Details Oriented" Miers, the best person that he could find for the Supreme Court, wasn't licensed to practice law in DC this year. No big deal - probably not needed as Legal Counsel to the President. (See answer #11 in her answers to the Supreme Court).

But, no biggie. She fixed it.

Earlier this year, I received notice that my dues for the District of Columbia Bar were delinquent and as a result my ability to practice law in D.C. had been suspended. I immediately sent the dues in to remedy the delinquency. The non-payment was not intentioned, and I corrected the situation upon receiving the letter.

So this is the best qualified person in the United States to sit on the court. Someone who couldn't remember to qualify to practice law! Kids, this isn't just an oversite. Part of being a lawyer, is being licensed. So we have dizzy, doe-eyed Gladys Gravits as our next Supreme Court judge. Oh yea, she will be very neutral when deciding a case that Gorgie-Porgie has brought up.

You're Dreamy....

Monday, October 17, 2005

Back in LA

Eddie and I are back in LA after a week-end in Chicago. We met Jane and Lisa for the week-end. We ended up seeing some cool stuff (we went on the Architectural River Tour). It was fun. Eddie played with his new camara - so pictures will be forthcoming.

We also saw Suzzane in the Windy City - and Patti and Jay came up for dinner.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005


Being surrounded by nasty incompetent assholes has a limited lifecycle where it is humorous. It segues to unpleasant quite quickly.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Trevor Info (and Pics?)

Trevor has taken a liking to both Ashford and the water. Uh oh...

Speaking of Creepy

Speaking of creepy goo-goo eyes. Compare and contrast, this will be on the final.

and now this

"He's my hero," Katie Holmes this summer.

"He is the smartest man I ever met," future Supreme Court Justice Harriet when-do-I-get-my-gavel Meirs.

Is it me - or is this just gross

Come on, you can't fool me. This is just kind of gross. I mean the King of the Schitzo's and the Amazon Virgin Queen.

I mean I like a good Svengali relationship as much as the next guy - but "Stands-With-Moraphine" has the creepy eyes.

(Explanation - if needed, "Stands-With-Fist" was the name of the white girl in "Dances-With-Wolves", which - by the by - was Kevin Costner's name in the movie. Well it was the movie name too. Dances with Wolves was the movie name, not Kevin Costner. Kevin Costner was the Star's name. Well, Kevin Costner was the Producer / Director's name too. But not the Editor's name. The movie was like 18 hours long, I don't think there was an Editor.
Now that Field of Dreams, that was a good movie. And it zipped right along. What-ever happened to that girl thay played the wife. I liked her.)

Anywho... back to Svengali relationships, even Bo Dereck and Jane Fonda could turn to face the camara.

I think the picture above is one of the few good arguements against gay marriage. Not to imply Tom is a fagala. No, but image if Tom Cruise bagged Dawson instead of Joey (Joey was Stands-With-Moraphine's name on the show). Now imagine James Van Der Huge Head standing like that given Tom the goo-goo eyes. That is just creepy.

Plus Tomjohn doesn't have the same flare as TomKat does.

Oh well, as John Luc Picard would say, Go and Spawn in Peace.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

So - why so cranky

Usually I am ha ha funny. (Okay - If I am not, this SO isn't the time to tell me!) But not lately, why Scott.

Is it because they killed Vaungh on Alias? No that is Ed.
Is it becasue your hair is turning grey? No.
Well, yes, but that explains the last 5 years of cranky - not the last two weeks.
Is it because of the general plight of the world, and the ennui towards the little child, and the tear it brings to your eye - slowing inching down your face? Huh?

No. My boss went on vacation for two weeks. And, specifically against my instructions, left me in charge.

This has not made me happy.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Mickey's Mom has E nuff

So Mickey came out to Palm Springs last Saturday night. His mom and dad (from Chicago) were in town. Gavin and Mickey plus Mickey's Mom and Dad were going to Vegas (while Mickey, Mom and Dad are all Catholic, some-one else is using Yon Kipper vacation days on the strip).

Anywho, Mickey brought his parents out to Palm Springs to break up the drive and see the sights. They went up the tram. They drove by where Mickey sings (he is in the Agape Choir in LA, and the have a couple a concerts a year in Palm Springs). They had dinner out at a Mexican restaurant. Then they came over to our house. Mickey wanted us to all kind of hang out and break up the drive to Vegas. (Gavin? Oh yea, he flew and met them there - nice son-in-law.)

So Mom walks in and is greeted by our 3 dogs. Let me say, Mom is not a dog person. Mom has spent most of the day in the car, and, when she was out of it, in 100 degree weather. Mom has spent the last 4 days with Mickey and Gavin and their new barky puppy and their two older barky dogs. Mom's face fell a little to be greeted with such fervor by yet more dogs.....

Trevor licked her toe (sandals) and Mom said, in a sing-song voice, "Little Dog, if you lick my toes again I may have to kick ya. Yes, I might. Yes I might. Ask Mickey - I almost had to kick the asshole dog of theirs. Yes I did."

Mickey's Mom was, so to speak, just about done with dogs, heat and presentation.

So imagine how happy she was when we let Mom and Dad use Lynn's room - with a Real Live Girls bathroom (as opposed to Mickey and Gavin's guest room). And, since it was Lynn's room, we said, don't let our dogs in because Lynn has a dog and we don't want our dogs marking her room. And there was a big pretty clean bed and a TV.

She changed, and - I imagine- steeled herself for the evening. She was happily surpirsed to come out to the front room; where Ed, Mickey, Mickey's Dad and I were drinking beer and margaritas and watching UCLA football.

Dad and Mom are big sports fans. They sat with us and we all routed for the home team. And we won. We won ugly. We didn't deserve to win - but that's okay in my book. And Mickey's Dad was really happy for me. Mickey's mom was happy for me - and she was happy the dogs slept through the entire game.

After the game she went to bed - for a great night's sleep. Dad, Mickey, Ed and I stayed up until after midnight playing Chinese Rummy and talking. Of course, the first thing I was told was that Dad was a little deaf - so I screamed at him all night and he probablhy thinks I am crazy.

FYI - Dad is a d-shark - I am glad we didn't play for money.

Mickey's Mom has E nuff

So Mickey came out to Palm Springs last Saturday night. His mom and dad (from Chicago) were in town. Gavin and Mickey plus Mickey's Mom and Dad were going to Vegas (while Mickey, Mom and Dad are all Catholic, some-one else is using Yon Kipper vacation days on the strip).

Anywho, Mickey brought his parents out to Palm Springs to break up the drive and see the sights. They went up the tram. They drove by where Mickey sings (he is in the Agape Choir in LA, and the have a couple a concerts a year in Palm Springs). They had dinner out at a Mexican restaurant. Then they came over to our house. Mickey wanted us to all kind of hang out and break up the drive to Vegas. (Gavin? Oh yea, he flew and met them there - nice son-in-law.)

So Mom walks in and is greeted by our 3 dogs. Let me say, Mom is not a dog person. Mom has spent most of the day in the car, and, when she was out of it, in 100 degree weather. Mom has spent the last 4 days with Mickey and Gavin and their new barky puppy and their two older barky dogs. Mom's face fell a little to be greeted with such fervor by yet more dogs.....

Trevor licked her toe (sandals) and Mom said, in a sing-song voice, "Little Dog, if you lick my toes again I may have to kick ya. Yes, I might. Yes I might. Ask Mickey - I almost had to kick the asshole dog of theirs. Yes I did."

Mickey's Mom was, so to speak, just about done with dogs, heat and presentation.

So imagine how happy she was when we let Mom and Dad use Lynn's room - with a Real Live Girls bathroom (as opposed to Mickey and Gavin's guest room). And, since it was Lynn's room, we said, don't let our dogs in because Lynn has a dog and we don't want our dogs marking her room. And there was a big pretty clean bed and a TV.

She changed, and - I imagine- steeled herself for the evening. She was happily surpirsed to come out to the front room; where Ed, Mickey, Mickey's Dad and I were drinking beer and margaritas and watching UCLA football.

Dad and Mom are big sports fans. They sat with us and we all routed for the home team. And we won. We won ugly. We didn't deserve to win - but that's okay in my book. And Mickey's Dad was really happy for me. Mickey's mom was happy for me - and she was happy the dogs slept through the entire game.

After the game she went to bed - for a great night's sleep. Dad, Mickey, Ed and I stayed up until after midnight playing Chinese Rummy and talking. Of course, the first thing I was told was that Dad was a little deaf - so I screamed at him all night and he probablhy thinks I am crazy.

FYI - Dad is a d-shark - I am glad we didn't play for money.


Apparently it means different things to us in the US vs. us in Iraq.

A little know problem has cropped up with the Iraqi Constitution, as you probably know. The Sunni Arabs (the bad ones that supported Sadam Hussain - not the Shites who are the good ones now and support Iran (who is part of the Axis of Evil - but let's move on)).

Where was I? Oh yea, the Sunni's don't like the constitution. Mainly because it is "federal" not national. It gives a lot of power to the "states" in Iraq. The Sunni states are poor, the Kurdish and Shite have a ton of oil. That kind of sums up the issues right there.

The constitution can be voted down by a majority, or by a 2/3s majority in 3 of the states. The Sunnis can probably muster that - or can they? According to an AP writer, the definitions have been finalized in English and Arabic for the "official" rules.

Well the definition of the word "voter" means 2 different things. Not all that unusual in a document, but in this case "voter" means 2 different things in the same sentence.

The constitution will not be approved if it doesn't receive approvel from 1/2 of the voters nationwide. So if 100 people vote, it needs 51 of them to vote for it. Also, the constitution will not be aproved if it rejected by 2/3s of the voters in 3 states or more. So, one would assume, if 100 people vote in each of 3 states and 67 of them vote no in all three states it would be rejected.

No quite. Turns out that in the first case (51% to win) it is 51% of the voters. In the second case (2/3s of voters in 3 states say no) it is 67% of registered voters.

Problem solved.

(Here is a Link to the NY Times if you don't believe Salon)

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Now this is Nincompooopery on a Grand Scale

The man nominated to taek Delay's place as Majority Leader, Rep. Roy Blount (seen here with Two-Tons-of-Fun-Hasart), has his own little problem. He has also paid money ($88,000) to the same team that was indited with Tom Delay. The inditment, by the by, is that Delay took funds from these good old boys, and then used that money to fund Texas elections. A violation of confressional ethics (a joke) - but also of Texas law.

So what gives? Can't the Republicans find a non-crooked front man. Well, yes they can. All the buzz yesterday was that they were going to elevate David Drier - a nice conservative Congressman who pretty much follows the party line. Right up to voting for the Defense of Marriage Act. Unfortunately, the rest of the country found out what we in Southern California have known forever. Drier, chairmen of the powerful rules committe, is in a long term committed relationship with a man. And has been for years and years.

Apparently following the party line, voting the right way, bringing the right bills to the floor and actually voting against gay rights isn't enough. You can't be gay at all. I would understand this if they didn't allow - say divorced men to have positions of power. Or men that divorce their wives on their deathbed, to marry the secretary they have been having an affiar with (you know Newt Gingrinch is making a comback lately).

Really - Nincompoopery on many levels.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Just so I get this straight

The party of "morals" has the following problems;

The Republican House Majority leader, Tom "the Hammer" Delay has been indited by a Texan Grand Jury for consipacy charges. FYI - You will hear a lot about this being a paratisan attack. That is bullshit, this man has prosecuted many more Democrats than Republicans (see this Houseon Cronicle endorsement.

It might seem funny that he wasn't brough up on campign laws. Funny because the man would would have to follow up is a Republican official to whom Delay financed. Funny in that sad sick way of politics.

Thank god the Senate is better.

Maybe not. The Senate Majority leader, Bill "I can see Teri Schivao is an active adult from here" First is under SEC invetigation. Seems he is a doctor and owns a LOT of stock in a Health Care company. Sorry, owned. He sold his, conviently just befor bad news was announced and the stock price dived. He says he did it to avoid conflict of interest.

His family also sold all their stock, although I have yet to hear about a conflict of interest they have...

I assume there will be a spectacular change of subject from the White House any minute.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Curiouser and Curiouser

When did real life start imatating "The Surreal Life"?

This is a headline on CNN - Playmate Appeals to the Supreme Court

One may ask the question, "So?" I am sure Judges Kennedy and Souter are men like any other, so of course the a Playmat would appeal to them. And Judge Bader-Ginsberg - she has to sit in for 2 other minorities anyway... what's the big deal?

But no. The headline does not refer to the Sexual Appetites of the Supreme Court (although it does not DISPROVE a prediliction towards big busted blonds either). The headline refers to the fact that the Supreme Court is going to hear Anna Nicole Smith's lawsuit.

As you may know, I think she deserves a few million for boffing the 90 year old guy - and not killing him during sex. But the Supremem Court? Really? This is the same woman who had a reality show on E. This is the same woman who humped a pillow on a stranger's bed while looking at houses to rent. Does she get to go to the trial?

Bad Ads Versions 1 and 2

Horrible Ads (and these are scarily similar to the billboards). You know in LA there are billboards advertising movies / tv all over. They are mainly vanity projects. I mean the stars insist they go up so they can see that the network is "doing something" about promoting their show - regardless of how crappy it will ultimately do. Well here are two of the worst. Really the worst.
Example 1: Ambulance Girl!

Hello scary picture. No wonder the husband sleeps fully clothed in bed. Would you want this wild eyed crazy woman popping up in bed next to you. As for Ms. Bates, her eyes betray the odd mixture of fear ("I have to go and face possible death"), annoyance ("God, can't they get in a car wreck in the middle of the day!") and excitement ("Maybe today is the day Denzel needs mouth to mouth").
Example 2: Just Legal

Okay, I am going to give the WB the benefit of the doubt - maybe they just didn't know what they were doing. But I was a little afraid that Don Johnson was doing gay porno when I first saw this picture. I mean come on... if that was Kathleen Turner leering at the young man getting dressed, it would be a SkinAMax event. And if that was Mary Kate Olsen getting dressed under the title "Barely Legal" - it would be a Playboy event.

And if Don Johnson was Michael Douglas and the boy was Catherine Zeta Jones, it would be a Wedding Invitation... ha ha ha.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Joke- From Gavi..

From Gavin...

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the president exclaims,"that's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands.

Finally, the president looks up and asks, "How many IS a brazillion?

Today's stupid post from the right (and refuted).

Happiness is (Back East Edition):

Happiness is beating Michigan at Barry's last came against... THEM.

Wisconsin 27 Michigan 23

Friday, September 23, 2005

Of course they're Trucks! They're Texans!

So I am reading a variety of liberal web sites (I read both liberal and conservative everyday - keep your friends close and your enemies closer). Well, every now and they liberals are idiots. Today somebody noted that in the pictures of cards waiting for gas or waiting to get out of Houston they are all, (giant surpised intake of breath here) Trucks! No wonder we are running out of gas.


Come on, I am a big-ass liberal my self, but is this news? Texans like Trucks? Guess what, straight boys like a nice set of knockers and gay boys think Brad Pitt is dreamy. The best selling food in Mexico is Mexican food. Snowmobiles sell better in Wisconsin than they do in LA!

Trucks... Geez. And SUV's. I have idea, let's think this through. I am fleeing a Huricane. I have an SUV at home and a Honda Civic. Which one do I take... Hum... this is a tough one.

Come on people. If you make stupid retorical pionts they are not going to listen to you when there is a real point.

FYI- when the big one hits LA, we are all piling into the 4 Wheel drive Truck.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

From Salon...

For those of you that don't have Salon...

As we reported yesterday, House Republicans have another way to come up with the money: They want to carve $500 billion in spending out of the federal budget. How would they do it? Their "Operation Offset" plan is online (Scott's add: The Congressman has pulled this now) now, and it it's full of brave talk about the "tough choices" that will be required in these "tough times." We'll acknowledge that some of the choices listed therein are, in fact, pretty tough: If you don't want to roll back tax cuts for millionaires, you're going to have to tell Republican Rep. Don Young why he can't have his $200 million bridge to nowhere and America's seniors why they need to wait an additional year for help with their prescriptions.
But somehow, we get the idea that the House Republicans' plan isn't quite as painful -- for them, at least -- as they'd like to make it out to be. Like the
Heritage Foundation, the House Republicans apparently see in Katrina an opportunity to advance some of their favorite policy goals and make some cuts that won't exactly bring tears to the eyes of the religious right or the corporate interests who support them. Some examples:
The Republicans would freeze funding for the Peace Corps, the Global AIDS Initiative, U.N. peacekeeping operations and a wide variety of third-world development programs; eliminate the EnergyStar program, eliminate grants to states and local communities for energy conservation, reduce federal subsidies for Amtrak, eliminate funding for new light-rail programs and cancel the president's hydrogen fuel initiative; eliminate state grants for safe and drug-free schools because "studies show that schools are among the safest places in the country and relatively drug free"; and eliminate the teen funding portion of Title X, which provides "free and reduced-price contraceptives, including the IUD, the injection drug Depo-Provera, and the morning-after pill" to poor teenagers.
Along the way, they'd find a way to punish -- or simply eliminate -- some of their enemies, real and imagined. They'd cut funding for the District of Columbia, eliminate funding for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, eliminate subsidized student loans for graduate students, terminate the Legal Services Corporation, eliminate funding for the National Endowment for the Arts and kill the National Endowment for the Humanities.
Of course, you can't balance the budget on the backs of PBS viewers, grad students and other outside-the-mainstream liberals alone. So the Republican plan also calls for "rational reforms to Defense and Homeland Security." Does this mean cutting weapons systems at the expense of big defense corporations? Well, no. But it does mean closing schools for the children of soldiers, cutting grants for local responders and offering National Guard members the "option" to purchase a less comprehensive healthcare plan.
We've all got to do our part. Or at least 99 percent of us do.

I guess it is good that the worst wasn't that bad...

I wanted to say the worst thing about the Jet Blue malfunction yesterday was that the people on board the plane all have DirectTV - adn so watched it all on Fox News (the local Fox team had a helicopter and the local Fox Radio has a ton of them for traffic - the pcitures were beamed to Fox News - which Cirect TV carries).

In retrospect, the whole watching it on TV would freak me out. But, by the same token, it was the worst thing because the plane didn't crash. Good for the crew.

And what kind of AirBus dog-ass-plane doesn't allow you to dump fuel. Hey-Seus, pay the extra $1.29 for the hatch you cheap Frogs.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Thunder and Lightning.. Oh My

Well last night there was Thunder and Lightning. To have it in September is just wierd. September is our hottest month. The average rainfall is like.. zero inches. September is when we burn burn burn - so it was an odd occurance.

A side-effect of this rare event is the running of the dogs. Neither Ashford nor Hastings were particularly thrilled by the Thunder and Lightning. They spent a lot of time awake and annoyed (which, perhaps not surprisingly makes us awake and annoyed). We thought they had to pee, but no. They just stood outside until we rustled them in.

The puppy, by the way, slept with no problems.

And I always think of it as Thunder and Ligthning because on the way out to the desert there is a yearly PowWow at the Morongo Reservation (the one with the Giant Casino). The PowWow is always called, Thunder and Lightning.

Affirmative Action for...

Affirmative Action for well connected White Women (a real need in this administration). Julie Myers has been appointed head of the US Immigration and Customs Enforcement Agency. A department with a $4 Billion (with a B) budget.

The pert Julie is not unknown in Washington. She recently married the head of Homeland Secuirty's Chief of Staff, and her Uncle is the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Air Force General Myers.

Your tax dollars at work!

She admits that she has no experience managing a large organization, but she shows a willingness to learn. Her exact comments from the Washington Post.

"I realize that I'm not 80 years old," Myers testified. "I have a few gray
hairs, more coming, but I will seek to work with those who are knowledgeable in
this area, who know more than I do."

At least I think that indicated a willingness to learn. It might also indicate an attitude of Screw-You-My-Uncle-Will-Bomb-Your-Ass-to-tomorrow-if-I'm-not-approved. But that might just be me.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Happiness is:

UCLA 41 Oklahoma 24
Here, Andrew Baumgartner, a Junior that isn't even in the Media Guide or depth chart celebrates his first touchdown catch (and I think his second catch as a Bruin).

Fun Fundraiser

So yesterday we went to a fundraiser for the Task Force at the Belage in Los Angeles. It was such a gay / Hollywood LA day.

First it was held at the Belage (where the Prom was held in Beverly Hills 90210 and poor Tori Spelling got really drunk and wanted to lose her virginity). And it was described as "California Casual", fyi - many of these sad boys did not get the memo on what constitutes "California Casual". I was afraid I was going to be bombarded by Huaraches and Caftans - but thank goodness that look left us when Allan Carr departed this world. (A fine man, a heck of a party thrower, a good movie producer, but a horrible dresser).

No the look was more... eclectic. There were the two boys in off-white paints, with multicolored stripes down the legs (NOT a good look), the boys in the black muscle shirts in the 85 degree heat (good look until they started sweating - a lot), and the beefy bar backs in the sleaveless white Ts (never a bad look). There was the older guy in brown leather pants (in the sun- he melted and the pants got bagy-ier and bagy-ier). There was the gym man who was like 6'5", HUGE muscles (like way overly huge), a silk shirt stretched way out to fit him and a nose ring - 'cuz that is a look! Bruce Vilanch was there - looking exactely like he does in the picture - but the t-shirt was blue.

I did, ultimately, see the Huarache look - and nudged Eddie, but it turned out it was only a larger woman in haram pants, not the Allan Carr wanna be. Where have all the tasteful men gone?

Downstairs, we heard some cool people talk. The producers who did Queer Eye for the Straight Guy - and also got an Oscar last year for The Fog of War about Vietnam. They spoke (and were introduced by Carson from the show). The two other honories were amazing community activitists (one introduced by K D Lang). And, Antonio Villagarsio - the LA Mayor, spoke. It was way cool to hear them.

The event proceeded briskly as many in antendence were on the way to the Emmys. Litterally, at the end of the event they said, "Okay, those of you up for Emmys - good luck. Those of you just going - have fun." They said this because most of the Emmy's were given away last Sunday and so there were people who had already lost (include the two producers).

Afterward, Ed took me to Lynn's to pick up the truck, and throughout the hills, you saw Limo's waiting to take people to the Emmy's. It was funny and cool. And so very LA.